Question:
How do you handle hearing about people who get sick after surgery?

PLEASE HELP!! As i near my surgery date....i am getting very nervous, a nurse at the dr's office i goto couldnt believe i was going to do this-she says they have a patient who had it done and is very very sick......how do you handle these stories and the normal fears?Thanks for any help!    — [Anonymous] (posted on November 26, 2001)


November 26, 2001
How about ignoring them? My boss, who is a lovely woman, couldn't resist telling me about her cousin's wife, who has been deathly ill and unable to eat properly since her surgery. After about 10 minutes of this, she looked up at me, right in my eyes and said "you're very committed to this, aren't you?". I told her that, yes, I was and had heard several horror stories from my sister in law the nurse, and after a talk with my surgeon, put all those stories away. Yes, stuff happens to some people, but I'll be more than willing to bet you that those people didn't follow the surgeon's instructions in more than one way, and that's why they wound up sick. Rest easy, do what the surgeon says, and you'll be fine.
   — Dee P.

November 26, 2001
for me it was a lot of education. meeting other people not just one person but A LOT. joining a support group, getting involved. Going out with post-ops and seeing how they eat, how and what they order. the relationship with food after the surgery. Going to a DR that his/her staff did not say things like the statement you said to the patients or giving them false hope. It is a journey that you will have to learn from and you MUST be positive or you will not get very far. I suggest you investigate every detail, and find a person that is willing to be your mentor, someone that has been successful that will encourage you and give you advice. I am sorry but the way you asked this question is like you have not had time to get enough education. Please try to find a group that can help you locally
   — Debbie H.

November 26, 2001
my honey & i just talked about this last nite. sure its scary but what pending surgery ISNT? sure there r risks but what surgery doesnt have its risks? i am more afraid of NOT having this surgery cause i KNOW i will die before my time if i dont. my husbands kidney removal had more risk than this does. we r not having anything REMOVED...just MOVED! & changed around a bit. good luck to u.
   — sheryl titone

November 26, 2001
I think it would be ridiculous to have NO fears! My answer is that I researched everything I could get my hands on for months (including how long I'd live at this weight) the whole time praying for guidance on what God would have me do. I believe that this is the answer. I've put it in His hands and I try very hard to leave it there. I have tons of people praying for me and I feel very comfortable. That's not to say I don't get nervous, I do. But I've had other major surgeries with no problems, so I pray that this one will be the same. You can also bet before they put that mask on my face I'll be saying one last prayer before going under!
   — Lisa U.

November 26, 2001
This is a very good question, and I'm not sure there is a good answer. This hits very close to home for me because I have a friend who got very ill from having surgery also. 3 of us friends (me and them, they are sisters) all planned to have surgery. The first one of us to do it had major complications, but made it through. She has lost a lot of weight but still has some problems. Her sister went next, while the first was still in the hospital... I remember thinking she must be crazy because at that point there is no way in He** I was going to go through with it. I watched her lose over 200 lbs as I kept gaining and gaining. I was 463 lbs before I decided to finally take the plunge. I couldn't get around, tie my shoes, go to the movies, sit in a booth. I have always been confident, but lets face it, with these physical limitations my health was catching up to me, and I felt that having surgery was worth the risk, because at the rate I was gaining I honestly felt I would die within about 5 years, leaving my daughter behind. If you are like me and most of the people here and have tried and tried and tried to lose on your own and are unable to, surgery sounds like your ticket... If you are apprehensive and unwilling to take the risks that may come with surgery, there is alway time. It took me 2 years to finally make a decision because I was unsure. It's important to do what is right for you. It is definitely normal to have fears, but if they are intense enough to stop you from having surgery, you can always wait, do more research, and feel more comfortable with your decision. I wish you the best of luck. Hang in there and go with your instincts!
   — Kim B.

November 26, 2001
I handle it with the knowledge that for every person who got sick many more made it through and are doing fine. For every person on the memorial page here, there are a couple thousand people who are living complication free. I accepted their are risks either way, be it surgery, or remaining at 410 lbs. I smiled and thanked people for their concern when they had to tell me horror stories and filed it along with all the positive stories I've read. I have to disagree with Dee though, things happen. People do not always, or even often, bring surgical problems on themselves. While there are those who won't follow directions, sometimes unforseen things happen. How can a reaction to anesthesia, a leak, an ulcer, a kinked bowl, adhesions, or anything like that be someone's fault? Things happen, but I feel it was worth the risk. Best of luck!
   — Becky K.

November 26, 2001
I have a friend who had serious problems post op. But she is doing better at last report. I decided I had no choice but surgery, my health and life fat was the pits. Here I am feeling great. I must admit I have the same concerns for mmy wife, whos surgery is december 10th, Faith in God helps and attend support group meetings. There is nothing better than to see lots of healthy and happy post ops.
   — bob-haller

November 26, 2001
I had a pulmonary doctor do this to me, he tried to scare me from getting surgery. When I get 100 pound gone I am goping to see him, with a before picture so he rememnmbers what I USED to look like. At 94 ounds gone this visit is coming soon.... I needed the jerk for approval, and changed to a differnt sleep study location over this.
   — bob-haller

November 27, 2001
Don't worry about what a nurse says at a doctors office. Believe it or not, JUST because they are in the medical field doesn't mean they know that much about gastric bypass surgery. There are risks with ANY surgery. Finding a surgeon who is very experienced in this surgery is the first step. It is normal to be afraid. From what I have read on this site everyone is scared to death even as they are being wheeled into the operating room. Relax, find a good experienced surgeon and don't worry about people telling you horror stories. Most of them don't know what the heck they are talking about anyway. Do your research and look at the statistics.
   — Kim B.

November 27, 2001
having no fears would be unrealistic. I was very at peace with my decision even up to the time I went under. It took a lot of prayer, research and support for me to get through. I am 4 months post-op, I have lost close to 75 lbs. and I do not regret it one moment. I have been blessed with no complications. I do have my times of eating too fast, or not drinking enough, but health wise I am feeling great. I went roller blading with my 8yr old and hiking for the first time in my life. You will be fine, - like Bill said above - for every person who has problems, there are thousands who do extremely well. Just be cautious introducing new foods, pray and move!! You'll be fine!! love love love!!
   — MICHELLE B.

November 27, 2001
I was pretty sick after eating almost every day for the first ten months. Yes, ten months....after surgery. Was it worth it? YES! Would I do it again? YES! You adjust. I learned to time my meals so that being sick would not interfere with work or other important aspects of my life. You learn how to get your nutrition and stay healthy...and you learn (if it happens you are one of the few who do get sick) to just get along without 'food as friend' for the first year. This turned out to be a valuable lesson for me. I learned to let go of some of my previously favorite foods and comfort foods and adapted to eating like a thin person. I no longer get sick...however...I no longer eat the foods I know I have problems with like sugar, fat, bread. Yes...it is a very big adjustment to eat like I eat now. Protein, vegetables, fruit. The good news is, I am four pounds from goal and still losing. I look fabulous. I feel fabulous. I have very little appetite. I eat like a thin person....and I love it!
   — Anne G.




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