Question:
How do you handle hearing about people who get sick after surgery?
PLEASE HELP!! As i near my surgery date....i am getting very nervous, a nurse at the dr's office i goto couldnt believe i was going to do this-she says they have a patient who had it done and is very very sick......how do you handle these stories and the normal fears?Thanks for any help! — [Anonymous] (posted on November 26, 2001)
November 26, 2001
How about ignoring them? My boss, who is a lovely woman, couldn't resist
telling me about her cousin's wife, who has been deathly ill and unable to
eat properly since her surgery. After about 10 minutes of this, she looked
up at me, right in my eyes and said "you're very committed to this,
aren't you?". I told her that, yes, I was and had heard several
horror stories from my sister in law the nurse, and after a talk with my
surgeon, put all those stories away. Yes, stuff happens to some people,
but I'll be more than willing to bet you that those people didn't follow
the surgeon's instructions in more than one way, and that's why they wound
up sick. Rest easy, do what the surgeon says, and you'll be fine.
— Dee P.
November 26, 2001
for me it was a lot of education. meeting other people not just one person
but A LOT. joining a support group, getting involved. Going out with
post-ops and seeing how they eat, how and what they order. the
relationship with food after the surgery. Going to a DR that his/her staff
did not say things like the statement you said to the patients or giving
them false hope. It is a journey that you will have to learn from and you
MUST be positive or you will not get very far. I suggest you investigate
every detail, and find a person that is willing to be your mentor, someone
that has been successful that will encourage you and give you advice. I am
sorry but the way you asked this question is like you have not had time to
get enough education. Please try to find a group that can help you locally
— Debbie H.
November 26, 2001
my honey & i just talked about this last nite. sure its scary but what
pending surgery ISNT? sure there r risks but what surgery doesnt have its
risks? i am more afraid of NOT having this surgery cause i KNOW i will die
before my time if i dont. my husbands kidney removal had more risk than
this does. we r not having anything REMOVED...just MOVED! & changed
around a bit. good luck to u.
— sheryl titone
November 26, 2001
I think it would be ridiculous to have NO fears! My answer is that I
researched everything I could get my hands on for months (including how
long I'd live at this weight) the whole time praying for guidance on what
God would have me do. I believe that this is the answer. I've put it in
His hands and I try very hard to leave it there. I have tons of people
praying for me and I feel very comfortable. That's not to say I don't get
nervous, I do. But I've had other major surgeries with no problems, so I
pray that this one will be the same. You can also bet before they put that
mask on my face I'll be saying one last prayer before going under!
— Lisa U.
November 26, 2001
This is a very good question, and I'm not sure there is a good answer. This
hits very close to home for me because I have a friend who got very ill
from having surgery also. 3 of us friends (me and them, they are sisters)
all planned to have surgery. The first one of us to do it had major
complications, but made it through. She has lost a lot of weight but still
has some problems. Her sister went next, while the first was still in the
hospital... I remember thinking she must be crazy because at that point
there is no way in He** I was going to go through with it. I watched her
lose over 200 lbs as I kept gaining and gaining. I was 463 lbs before I
decided to finally take the plunge. I couldn't get around, tie my shoes, go
to the movies, sit in a booth. I have always been confident, but lets face
it, with these physical limitations my health was catching up to me, and I
felt that having surgery was worth the risk, because at the rate I was
gaining I honestly felt I would die within about 5 years, leaving my
daughter behind. If you are like me and most of the people here and have
tried and tried and tried to lose on your own and are unable to, surgery
sounds like your ticket... If you are apprehensive and unwilling to take
the risks that may come with surgery, there is alway time. It took me 2
years to finally make a decision because I was unsure. It's important to do
what is right for you. It is definitely normal to have fears, but if they
are intense enough to stop you from having surgery, you can always wait, do
more research, and feel more comfortable with your decision. I wish you the
best of luck. Hang in there and go with your instincts!
— Kim B.
November 26, 2001
I handle it with the knowledge that for every person who got sick many more
made it through and are doing fine. For every person on the memorial page
here, there are a couple thousand people who are living complication free.
I accepted their are risks either way, be it surgery, or remaining at 410
lbs. I smiled and thanked people for their concern when they had to tell me
horror stories and filed it along with all the positive stories I've read.
I have to disagree with Dee though, things happen. People do not always, or
even often, bring surgical problems on themselves. While there are those
who won't follow directions, sometimes unforseen things happen. How can a
reaction to anesthesia, a leak, an ulcer, a kinked bowl, adhesions, or
anything like that be someone's fault? Things happen, but I feel it was
worth the risk. Best of luck!
— Becky K.
November 26, 2001
I have a friend who had serious problems post op. But she is doing better
at last report. I decided I had no choice but surgery, my health and life
fat was the pits. Here I am feeling great. I must admit I have the same
concerns for mmy wife, whos surgery is december 10th, Faith in God helps
and attend support group meetings. There is nothing better than to see lots
of healthy and happy post ops.
— bob-haller
November 26, 2001
I had a pulmonary doctor do this to me, he tried to scare me from getting
surgery. When I get 100 pound gone I am goping to see him, with a before
picture so he rememnmbers what I USED to look like. At 94 ounds gone this
visit is coming soon.... I needed the jerk for approval, and changed to a
differnt sleep study location over this.
— bob-haller
November 27, 2001
Don't worry about what a nurse says at a doctors office. Believe it or not,
JUST because they are in the medical field doesn't mean they know that much
about gastric bypass surgery. There are risks with ANY surgery. Finding a
surgeon who is very experienced in this surgery is the first step. It is
normal to be afraid. From what I have read on this site everyone is scared
to death even as they are being wheeled into the operating room. Relax,
find a good experienced surgeon and don't worry about people telling you
horror stories. Most of them don't know what the heck they are talking
about anyway. Do your research and look at the statistics.
— Kim B.
November 27, 2001
having no fears would be unrealistic. I was very at peace with my decision
even up to the time I went under. It took a lot of prayer, research and
support for me to get through. I am 4 months post-op, I have lost close to
75 lbs. and I do not regret it one moment. I have been blessed with no
complications. I do have my times of eating too fast, or not drinking
enough, but health wise I am feeling great. I went roller blading with my
8yr old and hiking for the first time in my life. You will be fine, - like
Bill said above - for every person who has problems, there are thousands
who do extremely well. Just be cautious introducing new foods, pray and
move!! You'll be fine!! love love love!!
— MICHELLE B.
November 27, 2001
I was pretty sick after eating almost every day for the first ten months.
Yes, ten months....after surgery. Was it worth it? YES! Would I do it
again? YES! You adjust. I learned to time my meals so that being sick
would not interfere with work or other important aspects of my life. You
learn how to get your nutrition and stay healthy...and you learn (if it
happens you are one of the few who do get sick) to just get along without
'food as friend' for the first year. This turned out to be a valuable
lesson for me. I learned to let go of some of my previously favorite foods
and comfort foods and adapted to eating like a thin person. I no longer
get sick...however...I no longer eat the foods I know I have problems with
like sugar, fat, bread. Yes...it is a very big adjustment to eat like I
eat now. Protein, vegetables, fruit. The good news is, I am four pounds
from goal and still losing. I look fabulous. I feel fabulous. I have
very little appetite. I eat like a thin person....and I love it!
— Anne G.
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