Question:
Psychological Journey.... Looking for honest answers
I have been researching the WLS journey and came accross a book written by Ranesa McNally, LCSW-C titled, Gastric Bypass Surgery: The Psychological Journey and want to ask you guys something. In her book she discusses self exploration..."Do I know myself? Do I know if I eat out of emotion, not our of hunger? Is food my best friend or worst enemy? Do I know those foods I can refrain from and can I do it long term? No sugar, no carbs, no or low fat? Am I aware that some foods I will not be able to eat again because I will be ill or won't be able to digest them? Do I know the consequences of "a bit too much?" Do I currently have a bad habit of just not thinking about what I put into my mouth as a result have become a mindless eater? Do I take the time to enjoy my food? Do I have a food addiction? Do I eat in secret? Do I binge eat? Do I feel excessive guilt if I eat a "bad" food? Do I have an obsession with the scale? Do I know how to do this forever? (p.6-7, McNally). This list is not all inclusive. She talks about being painfully honest in answering and exploring the self. So, I guess what I am trying to ask is, how many of you did this self exploration and really worked on these issues and for those that haven't how are you doing post op? How many of you answered yes to at least one? How do you work through this? This is what I know about me- I am a mindless eater, I am an emotional eater, I am obsessed with food. I know what I should do to change this and fix this, but I don't... why? Also, My 'weight' story is yo-yo diet childhood. Everytime I get going good on the weight loss I 1-cheat and fall off bandwagon 2- get sick and comfort self with bad foods. 3- everytime I receive compliments I seem to fall backwards. I know I am hiding behind the fat. So, this is my psychological journey thus far. I really want this journey to be sucessful, I am doing my research, I attend support groups and my first appointment is Jan 29th. I am thinking, if I can't loose weight on my own, what makes me think I will be able to do it with the surgery? That is one side of my thinking. The other is I will have an extra tool. Any advice?????? Or do I sound totally insane????? — A. Me (posted on January 5, 2010)
January 5, 2010
No, you do not sound totally insane. You sound very smart to me. I think
it is a wise action that you are taking to try to understand your patterns
BEFORE surgery and I hope that you will continue to seek support after
surgery. I am 12 yrs post-op from a failed VBG (the ring disappeared!) and
in May will be ten years post-op from a revision to RNY. I wish that I had
did some work on myself prior to surgery. It wasn't suggested and frankly
I guess I thought I could handle this on my own. Well, long story short I
ended up transferring addictions from food to alcohol. I found I could get
a quick buzz and then just as quickly sober up but for a while I could
forget about my problems. I did this for 3.5 years after my RNY and almost
blew out my liver and kidneys before getting sober in August of 2004. I
would like to say I am unique but I sponsor a woman who is also an RNY
post-op and her hubby is also one and in recovery. I also have a good
friend who is post-op and in recovery and I have gone to share my story at
treatment facilities and run into other post-ops so it happens. I was
someone who rarely even drank prior to surgery. Some people take up
shopping, gambling, sex, or other habits all to replace that coping
mechanism or they sabotage their surgeries. Then you have people who do
the head work and make it or get committed and stay committed who don't go
through this stuff. There are all types. Also, I may get fried for this
but just personally I tend to ignore the ones who come on and jump on
people who are struggling and they are just a few months out themselves. I
look more at the ones who have been at this a few years. You CAN do this!
You are off to a great start just by examining your patterns and
motivations. Next is to find alternate ways of dealing with things and
getting counseling and then finding real life support. I wish you nothing
but the best!
— Kellye C.
January 5, 2010
Your are not totally insane. My story is almost identical to yours. I have
been an emotional eater, mindless eater and eat in private and binged and
purged. Every time I started making progress and would get complimented in
a positve way I would stop and go back to the old habits.
I finally got my self out of a very bad situation, worked on my self esteem
with the help of my very loving boyfriend and others and fell in love with
myself. I fought all of 2009 to get approval for wls but since it was a
written exclustion on my health insuracne even the department of labor said
there was nothing they could do. I have been informed by my HR department
that at open enrollment that they are supposed to be going with a Maryland
based company where all Maryland mandates will apply. Meaning that I will
be able to get the wls in the spring.
Sorry to have gotten off track a bit. But to give you an example of what I
was doing I got depressed this past fall and began taking food in the
bedroom and closing the door and binging. My boyfriend came in and laid on
the bed and
looked at me and said "youhave to stop doiong this to yourself, its
not good for you and I am here." I looked at him started crying and
acknowledged he was right. at that moment is when I realized that I was
truely worth something.
Not sure this is what your lookimg for but that is my honest answer.
Keep up the exploration, it can be very painful but also cleansing.
— abuddingrose
January 5, 2010
I started seeing a therapist who treats people with food addictions before
my surgery and I am still continuing after surgery. I want to avoid
transferring my overeating to another addiction. You can ask your doctor
or call your health care provider (i.e. blue cross) for a recommendation
for a therapist or psychologist who specializes in addictions.
— Cynthia T.
January 5, 2010
Tina, I think you are going to be a successful candidate for WLS because of
all this selfanalysis you're doing. I am 3 years post RNY and doing good. I
never got to my goal weight (would have liked to lose 30 more pounds) but I
have kept it off. I did a lot of self-analysis and found I ate mindlessly
out of boredom. Good luck to you.
— Muggs
January 5, 2010
Tina,
You are not insane you're right on the mark. LIke you and everyone else
that's posted an answer, I'm on the same journey. WLS isn't just about
changing physically, its about changing emotionally as well. I've never
read the book you mentioned, but I think I will. I started a journal the
day after my seminar and promised myslef I'd write in every day. As the
surgery gets closer, I've noticed I'm focusing more on why I eat and not on
how much. There is a connection for me. Life begins with Lap Band..this
is my new motto. This is a great chance to learn who you are and begin to
live life for you. Best wishes!
— kchooker
January 5, 2010
You are not insane... the issues we have with food pre-op will be the same
post-op unless we do things to change them... the WLS changes us physically
and biologically, but does not change us psychologically, that is up to us
and it sounds like you're off to a great start!
— Clumsybarbie
January 6, 2010
Thank you for your feedback! It is nice to know that others believe I am on
the right track. I too have been journaling. Interesting enough I am a
Psychiatric nurse administrator. I know how important what I am doing is,
therefore understand the importance of treating the mind along with the
body. Sad pa
rt I always took care of others and never myself 2010 is about ME! Thanks
again!
— A. Me
January 6, 2010
I think I was lucky. My medical group (Facey Medical, LA area) requires all
Bariatric patients to attend 6 months education classes ---- covering all
of the above. They give you the tools to figure out what type of eater you
are and why and how to change that behavior. They go over all of the
nutrition elements, taking vitamins, eating pre and post surgery and future
meetings with the NUT when needed, etc. I, like you --- have struggled with
my weight since childhood and yo-yo'ed my entire life. I would lose weight
-- a considerable amount and something would happen (work changes, life
changes, get comfy, then lazy, etc. etc. etc.) to alter my healthy thinking
and go back to the way I always did things --- which obviously was NOT
healthy. We discovered that its hard to change ANY learned behavior (good
or bad). We learned how to make small changes before surgery to help with
the transition later. Everything you said above all resinates with me. You
sound like a great candidate for surgery. Do your homework. Get all of the
facts, seek help/training/education --- from your medical group, your
surgeon, third party, whatever. Prepare yourself and make wise choices.
Change small things - conquer them and move onto the next thing. Good luck.
— jammerz
January 6, 2010
Hi,
For me, I had to do a lot of deep soul searching. It really takes honest
answers to get to where I am today. I had to sever my ties with food
before my RNY 4 yrs ago. If you read my profile, I do share my story with
everyone. Not to get pitty, but to let people know that you aren't alone.
I think it is a good idea to let go of the food pre op, otherwise people
set themselves up for depression, because they realize later that they
really miss having a "certain food item" and it triggers bad
feelings. Anyway, I banned the food demon from my life. I still have a
love for the taste of food, just now I eat to live, I don't live to eat.
— Kristy
January 6, 2010
You are on the right track. I am going to share something with you and
anyone else who reads the answer to your question here that I haven't yet
shared on my profile page. I too was a yo-yo person. I researched for two
years before having my RNY May 2008. I have lost 160 lbs. to date. That
being said - I am recovering from a nervous breakdown. I had some
nutritional defeciencies, UTI infection and do to other stressful
situations I crashed and burned this past July. I ended up going into a
local mental hospital (Phil Haven) for two visits, first one for four days,
relapsed and was in for two weeks then went to the day program for one
month. I am finally back to work and currently seeing a therapist every
week. I am finding out that while I thought I had all the answers that I
was ready for this new tool and knew myself as far as my eating habits and
how I felt as an obese person, my emotions and feelings were so entwined
and with the RNY and not eating or drinking enough caused by body and mind
to react in a psychotic episode or nervous breakdown. I do not regret
having the RNY even though I have gone through the ringer with my mental
health. I did not use drugs, sex or alcohol before, during or after
surgery. But my body had a lot to adjust to since virtually I have lost
half of me. I was 343 lbs at my highest weight in size 30, 32's.
Currently down to fluctuating from 175 to 185 in size 16, 18's where I have
been maintaining. I don't want to scare you off the surgery because I know
that I will continue to maintain my healthy eating habits because each day
I look at my pictures the day of surgery to remind myself how far I have
come and how much further God will continue to bring me along this journey.
I made a list of all the things I couldn't do but now can and enjoy. I
can't tell you the joy I get each day walking, hiking, climbing stairs,
getting down on the floor with my nieces and nephews, the physical energy I
feel is something that I can't explain because it had been something that I
didn't have for more than half my life. My therapist is helping me to deal
with my breakdown and how to be good to myself not only in my new healthy
way of life with eating but how to be good to myself and love myself all
over again after the surgery and the breakdown. You have the right mind
set in asking yourself all the right questions, just remember that only you
can make the final decision and know that it will be a daily journey.
There are plenty of support systems available, use them, but ultimately YOU
are going to be your biggest support by your positive attitude and approach
to your decision. The ultimate question people have asked me is if you
would have known what was going to happen to you would you have had the
surgery anyway? MY resounding answer is YES!!!! You can email at
[email protected] if you feel that I can offer any support to you in
the next couple of months! GOD BLESS!! MJ
— heartmjk
January 6, 2010
I think you are doing the right thing , WLS is a tool but people have
failed with it and I worry that I will fail as well, you are taking the
right steps and I wish I had done som eof that beofre my surgery verus
after. It is good to question then you know when you make the decision you
are ready to give it all you have na dyou know what to watch for in
yourself. Take care
— Figler5
January 6, 2010
Big Medicine is showing a special on addiction transference today, it was
pretty good.
— [Deactivated Member]
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