Question:
Post-op people... have you developed new coping skills?

There's a lot of talk about changing food habits and using the "tool" and following the rules, all very important aspects, I understand. I am wondering who has changed their "head", their coping mechanisms? Many of us sometimes use/d food to make ourselves feel safe and loved (even thin people do this), who has truly broken that emotional habit and what do you do for yourself instead? Thanks!!!    — Ananta (posted on April 3, 2009)

April 3, 2009
This is indeed the harder part of the process. You never completely get over the head hunger. You learn to find ways to distract yourself or for me journaling how I feel works. It is a daily struggle.
   — trible

April 3, 2009
RNY is only a tool towards wt loss. If you have any emotional issues that were solved by poor eating habits, then you need to address those issues prior to surgery. Many who have had RNY surgery, ended up solving their wt problem. BUT, unresolved emotional issues often cause "cross addictions", which mean you now rely on alcohol, prescription meds, etc. to deal with those emotional issues. Some pre op patients are screened out of surgery in their psycholical evaluation. There is noting wrong in seeking professional guidance to deal with issues in your life. Dealing with post op life is difficult enough, without unresolved personal issues disrupting the process. DAVE
   — Dave Chambers

April 3, 2009
Hi Dave, thank you for your answer but I respectfully disagree. No one "solves" emotional issues, in my humble opinion, you deal with them. It's a process not an end-game. I'm not suggesting that someone should get WLS if they have serious emotional issues but as you can see from this board, most people have the surgery and still have things to deal with. Of course... that's life. It's disingenuous to suggest that everything needs to be resolved before acquiring this tool, in my opinion. What I am asking for, is real life experiences in evolving coping mechanisms. My mother is six years out, 165 from 350 and trust me, she still has some emotional baggage... that doesn't mean she should not have gotten the surgery. In fact, it has helped her focus and not bury the issues. So again I ask, has anyone evolved their coping skills during their process? Thanks!
   — Ananta

April 3, 2009
Hi Dana, I am not sure I know what you are exactly looking for?? Yes, we ALL change and learn how we each must handle our issues. But that will be different for each and everyone of us. Head hunger is learning to know you REALLY arent hungry..it is just we think we are so you need to redirect yourself to a more productive thing other than needlessly eating.Each of us have to find what works for us. I am not able to walk much. I have not taken to spending many hours exercising as I have seen many others become fantics on exercise. Sometimes I think one obsession is exchanged for another in SOME/NOT ALL people. I dont think this is close to what you might be looking for...
   — tootsie52

April 3, 2009
This is definately the area that I kicked and screamed in!! Every step of your journey is a learning process. Each process is different and your steps are crucial to your outcome. Always keep in mind that the journey is NEVER over. Not when you reach your goal size, not when you reach your goal weight, but it is a forever process and bad habits are hard to kick. I myself have changed the way I look at food, the way I react to trigger situations and believe me there are times that I fall off the wagon as they say. Binging was my drug and once in a blue moon I find myself in the midst of a binge. For the most part, food is fuel. I eat to live. My blood must pump, my heart must pound, my bodies gotta move, so this is what food is to me. A tasty treat is a wonderful thing, but I do not allow myself to enjoy it unless I am totally in control. Not at a party, not at a gathering, but when I have made a sound decision to allow myself the indulgence. Yes, the weight is what I called my suit of armor. It protected me from the world. Now I see that it also restricted me from moving and living freely. Make friends with yourself and learn to trust the decisions you make on your journey. Your tool will not be the only thing that you can depend on for your victories. Changing your mind and habits and even the way you see yourself and feel about yourself are crucial. IT'S A DISCOVERY PROCESS! It won't happen overnight, ENJOY THE JOURNEY! :)
   — bariatricdivalatina

April 3, 2009
Thanks for this question. I am pre op, and already this is a big question for me. I am convinced that I must do the "WLS" on my mind, though the surgeon will take care of my body. I am doing several things to try and correct some of the issues that I believe have put me where I am. Don't discount the help of a good therapist. One of my OH friends, Rena, suggested that I read, "The Beck Diet Solution - Train Your Brain to Think Like a Thin Person". It also has a workbook. I bought them both slightly used on amazon.com and spent about $15.00 with s/h included. Rena and I are going to both read the book and discuss through email and/or SKYPE. Good luck to us all.
   — browngathers

April 3, 2009
Thank you so much for the words and wisdom. I know it's going to be tough and I know that I will need to use everything I have to stay on this path mind, body, and soul and I am grateful for your advice. This book looks AWESOME!!! I am going to order it right now from Amazon. I am very excited.
   — Ananta