Question:
I am so frustrated and really need some advice...

I read the daily "Q&A's" that OH sends to my email box, I hear stories of people doing well, I look through the before and after photos and see the changes, but it makes me sad to wonder if I will ever get to see this miracle in my life, in my body. Things are still tied up at my surgeon's office... Thursday I saw my therapist and she told me that she had sent a letter to my nutritionist. On Friday I got an email from the nutritionist saying that she would put the letter in my file and that my "case" would be brought up at the next clinic meeting on Wednesday, and after that, she would let me know if my case was going to the insurance for approval, or if there was anything else required of me to do prior to it being submitted. I am so tired of waiting for it. Part of me just wants to start eating the carnation instant breakfast, or just put myself on a long-term liquid diet and forget about the surgery. I am so frustrated. Yes, I have issues with food, how else do you think I would have got to 312 pounds... does anyone go into the O.R. with perfection? I don't think so. I've admitted to binge eating, they are worried it will continue post op even thought the nutritionist told me I'll just make myself sick if I do that... I get that. I know they are all just worried, but it still sucks. I thought I would have already had my surgery by now and cannot believe I'm still waiting. I don't tell people anymore that I'm having surgery, the ones that know still know, but I got tired of people asking "when?" Would love any and all advice and encouraging words, really needing them right now.    — Clumsybarbie (posted on July 12, 2009)

July 12, 2009
I know how you feel, just hang in there and do what you have to do to get your surgery. I waited 3 years before I got mine. My insurance would not pay for my surgery. I fought them for years and years. I finally got a loan and paid for it myself. But dont give up.. Try to be patient and do what they say and keep fighting. Never give up and good luck to you and keep us posted on your progress...
   — okbuffy

July 12, 2009
Teri, PLEASE don't give up. I know it's hard waiting when you feel like your health and life are in the hands of insurance companies who only care about their bottom line. But TRUST ME when I say that once you get your surgery, you will be so much happier and healthier that the wait will not matter anymore. Sometimes it's tough to just "hurry up and wait", but this too will pass. Hang in there sweetie, you will get there. If you ever need to vent, just shoot me an email........I am a great listener. Hugs, Trish
   — dragonflier

July 12, 2009
I don't often reply, but your situation sounded so familiar, I just had to reach out to you. I started out a long time ago a few years at least. The insurance process was mind boggling and offensive. Went through all the hoops...paid for all the bells and whistles....and in the end, the insurance company turned me down. I was 50 or so pounds more than you are now taking meds galore. I was so unhealthy. I was at the end of my rope and very depressed. Some way, I started doing another "doctor diet" and got weighed every week and cut out most carbs and did as much exercise as I could at that weight. Over the course of a year, I lost65 pounds. I was still morbidly obese, but I was on my way to feeling a bit more "normal". I still had so much more to lose and I started the WLS obstacle course again. This time I had to go through another 8 month medically supervised diet in order to qualify for the surgery. I was frustrated and didn't lose more than a pound or two during the 8 month supervised diet.(We eat...that's how we gain weight...we're hungry, so we eat more, we're depressed about being so big, so we eat more.)Finally, I got the "go ahead"....I had Lap RNY 10 months ago. I have lost another chunk of weight (100-ish lbs.) I still need to lose more...the weight loss is getting slower and each and every day, from day one has been a struggle. I don't dump and I have more problems getting in healthy protein than unhealthy carbs....so it is still really hard to stick to all the rules....it's not magic by any stretch of the imagination BUT I would go through all the crazy nonsense all over again in order to get approved for the surgery and have the surgery. I came out of the hospital taking 2 meds, I went in taking 11. Diabetes, gone. Hypertension, gone. High triglycerides and high cholesterol, gone. I feel like a different person. Everything is so much easier to do now....except....it is still just as difficult to not graze, not binge, not go back to old habits and to continue to lose weight. So, keep on trucking....it will eventually happen...please take this time to practice some new eating habits,,,exercise a bit, eat less (I know it's difficult) but weight you lose now will be a good head start for when you finally have your surgery. Hang in there and don't let the system get you down. Use the time to learn as much about as you can about every nuance of the post op life and practice all the rules (even if you have to eat a little more) Good luck to you. None of us are perfect before or after surgery.
   — Dee L.

July 12, 2009
Everything happens for a reason...when your time is right, it will happen! Just hang in there, keep doign what needs to be done, and keep teh faith! Hugs, kim
   — gpcmist

July 13, 2009
Well here is my story. I am in the shoes your are in now, except the insurance will approve me for RNY but not VSG. I am ok with that, so why haven't I had surgery yet? Well, I said I didn't want to appeal for VSG to the DMHC for VSG and the surgeon wanted to give me the Lap Band. I don't want lap band for many reasons (no offense to those that have had it) so I went back to my original choice or RNY. The Doctor refuses with a nasty attitude because "he doesn't do it on people like me." It's a long story, but anyways now I have gone to a new surgical group and am working with my PCP to get everything sent to them. I didn't have to do the dieting stuff because I have covered those grounds since I was 17 years old and I am almost 30 now, and I have hypertension which landed me in the ER this weekend! I suspect that my once gestational related diabetes are not trickling over to type 2 and that's what my PCP and I were trying to advoid. So in so many words, you are not alone and last night I too thought the same thing you are thinking but I am going to do that as well as stay on all the players in this WLS game's ass! Be encouraged and we will get there together.
   — Papoose79

July 13, 2009
I haven't had the problems with insurance that you are experiencing but I agree with the others that you need to have patience and hang in there. None of us gained weight overnight and the solution to our weight issues will also not happen overnight. Even when your have your surgery, you will have the habits even though the hunger will be diminished. It is extremely easy to slip into old patterns and takes and immense effort to stay on track. This frustration is good practice for some of the frustrations that will come after surgery. Maybe thinking of this as practice will help you deal with it all. Best of luck.
   — candace501