Question:
Happier Then or Now

I know there are a lot of us that are so happy with how our weight loss turned out. Has anyone had the surgery, lost weight, and feel more self-conscious NOW than before weight loss? Is anyone more ashamed of their body or how it looks NOW than before surgery? Does anyone has self-esteem issues more NOW than before surgery? I want to hear your struggle.    — poodie (posted on June 5, 2009)

June 5, 2009
We all go thru emotional ups and downs with our weight loss journey. We go thru a morph and have to rediscover ourselves. We have to get to know who we are now to ourselves and who we are to the world around us. I have issues with skin. If I had to choose fat or skin. I take the skin. I am healthier. I look better in my clothes. I am uncomfortable with men looking at me and mumbling ooo's and ahhh's. My husband is intimidated a bit. My sisters that are overweight want the "old" Lesleigh back. But bottom line. I did this for me. It is the most wonderful gift I could have done for myself. Plus all my heath issues are corrected, High blood pressure, high cholesteral, sleep apnea. My self esteem has improved over all. So I will keep the skin over the fat! Lesleigh
   — lesleigh07

June 5, 2009
I'll keep the skin too, I feel soooo much better!!!! I am healthier and happier than I've been in years.
   — mjbw1947

June 5, 2009
I'm only 14 weeks out and have lost 60 lbs post-op but 100 pre-op, so after 160 lbs so far the saggy skin is really in full swing. I know it will be another thing to be self-conscious over but I really don't let it bother me too much. All my jiggles are now badges of courage and accomplishment! Yeah it's all baggy, but I accomplished emptying that skin. In fact, bring on more! LOL
   — opheliafl

June 6, 2009
When I used the "excesss skin" factor as an excuse not to have the surgery, I had a good friend say to me - "you have all that skin now, it is just filled with fat". As mean as some may feel that comment sounds, it rang soooo true. The skin is frustrating but I look forward to the day that I can have it somewhat "fixed" with plastic surgery. The male attention can be unnerving and also have lost close friends because I am no longer the same person. The only thing I beat myself up about is the fact that I allowed myself to get morbidly obese and have a hard time accepting congrats on my loss (200+lbs)because it is a reminder of how awful it was pre-op. Since I am 15 months out, the topic of conversations with others is not always my wt loss which is such a relief!
   — AuntPamcakes4six

June 6, 2009
i am pre op but i was wondering about the same thing.also i have been big most of my life so i am concerned on how i will be after i lose alot.i know i will be the same person but how is everyone else goin to expect me to act.i guess is what i'm trying to say..like if one day way after surgery and i have lost a lot of wieght and one day i just happen to be in a great mood..is everyone going to think i am showing off or will they look at me then how they look at me now when i'm in a great mood.prob confusing but i do think like that.will my friends still be my friends?i guess i tried to answer with a question...sorry.
   — carolyn1970

June 6, 2009
Hey Carolyn ,we are best freinds going through this together and we can handle what anyone thinks or says, we will take this one day at a time. Theresa
   — tmparker

June 8, 2009
I think the biggest thing I run into is people always commenting on how little I eat. I just want to feel like everyone else. I have gotten use to it now, I hope it getts better with time. When ever I see people who havent seen me in awhile they are amazed. So far no one has quit talking to me but I know it happens. If I join in a discussion on dieting with large size people that don't know me from before they think I can't know what they are talking about. I carried a picture of myself before for awhile to show I really can know what they are talking about. I think I am over that now. It feels weird while you figure out your new place in life.
   — trible

June 8, 2009
I think all WLS patients go through a million transitional points. I was where you are now. I felt like everyone in the universe was giving me attention. Making eye contact. Talking to me. It was like one day someone flipped the switch and I was acceptable from the outside - so everyone was friendly. Normally I would be the outgoing, friendly one - and again, one day the switch flipped on and wasn't ready for, nor did I foresee this happening. When it was happening in the beginning I was really off kilter. I had to deal with it mentally. I just talked things out with my husband and a few close friends. Got it all out what I was feeling, and how the attention made me feel, etc. I felt better and now I just take the compliment, make eye contact back and am friendly as they are to me. What goes around comes around. If everyone treated everyone else the way they would like to be treated, the world would be a better place.
   — jammerz