Question:
Did anyone else have a problem seeing their own results?

I'm 4 months out from my RNY and have lost 68 pounds. I've gone from a size 20-22 to a 12. People tell me all the time how different I look but when I look in the mirror I see nothing different. Even in pictures I can tell my face has gotten smaller but my body looks the same. Am I being to hard on myself?    — Megan21 (posted on October 23, 2008)


October 22, 2008
Hi Megan, I had the lap band inserted in May and have lost 50 pounds since January. I went from a size 22 - 24 to a size 16 - 18 and I certainly have a hard time seeing the difference. I can see it in others but not myself. I might just take a little bit longer for the mind to catch up to the physical. My children notice a difference and coment in a positive way. So I have to let others be my mirror. The best way for to judge my progess is in how my body moves. I've been exercisising and am much more flexible and have gained strength. So Megan, Lots of luck to you in your loosing battle. You are doing amazingly well. Mary-Anne
   — mannecote

October 23, 2008
get a new mirror...lol...if you have gone from a 20 down to a 12 in dress size then you must look amazingly smaller. i would say a very big "CONGRATULATIONS" on your success and keep up the great work....we are always tougher on ourselves than on others, plus you look at yourself every day. if you didn't look in a mirror for a week and then looked at yourself, you would be amazed at the difference.
   — MNI

October 23, 2008
Congratulations on the amazing progress. I am sure you look fabulous. I think a lot of people go thru what you are experiencing...I know I did. Even when I had gotten down to 118....and everyone was yelling and saying I was MUCH to thin and needed to stop losing....I still saw the 252 lb girl. My body image ....even after 11 yrs out.....can still be screwed up at times. It is just hard to shake that big girl image in my head. I know what works for me is when I am eating healthy and exercising....I feel best about myself at that time and proud of my accomplishment....when I get in an exercise funk ....then that bad thinking comes back. So give it time.....work on getting your body toned and in shape....work on feeling good about yourself....accept the compliments coming your way...you deserve them. Also...wear clothes that accentuate that new figure....clothes that flatter and show off.....not hide. Clothes that are too big or loose can be hiding that new body. Good luck w/ reaching your goal.
   — jamiedaugherty

October 23, 2008
Your not being hard on yourself at all. This is completely normal. It takes the mind longer to catch up with the body. I am eleven months out, have lost 100 lbs. and have reached my goal. I just started seeing it in the mirror myself about a month ago. Keep up the good work. You will start to see it!!
   — CYIFLY98

October 23, 2008
You will see it when you least expect it. I was walking through the mall pushing my son in his stroller I caught a glimpse of my reflection in one of the store windows. For a second I didn't realize it was me I was looking at. Then when I realized it was. I was thrilled at the results!
   — Carlyn M.

October 23, 2008
I have days like that too, I am 4 months out of RNY and I have lost 62 pounds. I went from a size 22 to a 10. Some days I feel really good. Like Smokin hot good! LOL But then some days Im like OMG this is not working why am I still fat! I have come to terms that I will probably be that skinny person who always things they look fat. Remember this fixed your weight problem not your mind! I totally know where you are coming from, so yes you are being to hard on yourself and so am I! We are half the size we were so we are making progress! Thats a start! so lets remember its a journey for a reason! It it didnt take long we would call it a trip instead! Keep your head up, I'll do the same and pretty soon hopefully we will fully realize how much sucess we have had! Take care if you want to talk anytime just add me! Im always here! Kim
   — Kimberlin Katayama

October 23, 2008
I didn't much see any weight loss until after I lost over 65 lbs myself...But I did feel awesome in a size 14. I knew I was smaller because I was out of the plus sizes! THAT was much more convincing than what I saw in the mirror and I knew my head had to catch up with it all...One day I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror at a store, unexpectedly and I thought to myself..."I'd like to look like that because that's a good size to live with" (that was at a size 10)...Then I got closer and realised it WAS ME! "WOW" moment! Almost immediately my image became warped and again i saw a fat lady standing there when I KNEW it was me! So...give yourself time...I do admit though that I still feel fat at times and then I see a picture of myself and I think I must be crazy...I am not fat! Full, solid or thick... but not fat! But then again, I was fat when I was in second grade...when i was in the best shape of my life in the US Army after basic training, At 315lbs and now that I am in a size 8/10....That is something I will probably not convince myself ...But when i tell people I was obese, they don't believe me...So...who you gonna believe? Them or your own eyes? LOL :::wink::: You are doing great and not even half way done losing yet! Chances are, you might always see a fat person even though people are calling you tiny and petite and small! (they still seem like unfamiliar alien words to hear) You're not being hard on yourself...you are delusional ...Just teasing! Hugs! You are doing GREAT!
   — .Anita R.

October 23, 2008
Hi Megan.... I'm just getting started with this process, so I can't answer you from YOUR side of the equation. But I CAN address it from my teenage and young adult perspective. Way back then, I was 5'9" and weighed 145 pounds. But my entire family told me I was "fat" and even my neighbors told me my arms were "huge". When I looked into the mirror, all I could see was a fat person.... but when I look back at my photo albums, what I see is a normal-weight teenager - curvey, but not fat, and definitely not obese. Even at 170 pounds, I looked nice (looking back at pictures)... but I never "felt" normal or average. So, yes, I think you're being too hard on yourself.... you need to have someone take pictures of you, so that you can compare yourself from before your surgery and now.... you'll be amazed at the difference. Blessgins, Erica
   — Erica Alikchihoo

October 23, 2008
Honey I am 19+ months out and still have those days that I feel like a big ol' heffer of past days. I was in a 26-28 pants and 20-22 top and now I am in size 4 pants and extra small tops. I have lost over 145lbs. I look AMAZING if I do say so myself, but there are days that I question the look - I still sometimes see the fat girl in the mirror, etc. It totally takes your mind longer to catch up with your body changes. I will admit that those day for me are far and few between. I would say around month 10 or so they stopped being so prominent in my life. Now.. I feel confident and strut my stuff *what I have left to strut, LOL*. It will pass. Just give your mind some time to catch up with the all new beautiful you. Besides, you live in your body every day - people who do not see you in a while, etc. they see have that shock value we will never have because it's us and we live with ourselves day in and day out. Good luck honey and if you ever need to unload - just email; [email protected]. We've all been there.
   — jammerz

October 23, 2008
Although people look normal, people suffering from body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) perceive themselves as ugly and disfigured. New imaging research reveals that the brains of people with BDD look normal, but function abnormally when processing visual details. The UCLA findings are the first to demonstrate a biological reason for patients' distorted body image.
   — blueyes711

October 23, 2008
I have had the same problem. Had surgery March 08 and have lost 127 lbs. I still feel like the same person ... feel little change in myself, but others notice. I had a lady yesterday come in and say OMG you are so small now. People tell me how great I am looking ... others same nothing but the expressions on their face when they see me says alot ... especially if I have not seen them in months or more. Check out my profile ... you will see I have the same struggles and self-doubt. You are not alone!
   — Tammy Cardwell

October 23, 2008
Hi Megan, I am 6 months ans only have lost 54 lbs. I see the same big person my self even though i get lots of compliment on my lost. But I just dont see the same thing and it really depresses me. And Advice would be greatly appreciat. I cant see to get away from this BIG PLATEAU. HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP Jennie
   — zydeko47

October 23, 2008
megan i am only 6 weeks out and have gotten to wonder whats up with me. i have lost 48 lb and my son made take a pic so i could tell the difference. didn't look much dif to me lol but guess i shouldn't expect to much to fast.
   — peggy R.

October 23, 2008
I really think you're being hard on yourself. Be proud of all the accomplishments you've made thus far. Love your new temple and embrace it, your beautiful. Sometimes we're afraid of change, but change is good. so with that being said keep your head up on focus on your goals and love yourself megan.
   — Judy Hardy

October 23, 2008
I don't think you are being to hard on yourself. At a size 26/28 (haven't had surgery yet) when I look in the mirror I don't see myself that large. I have an "internal picture of myself" and it certainly doesn't match my actual. I hope after I have the surgery the outside will finally match the inside! Keep going and believeing in yourself, I am sure that one day you will look in the mirror and so "Oh my gosh who is that person staring back at me?". Prayers and God Bless.
   — Sunny-Day

October 23, 2008
I say you are definitly too hard on yourself. My surgeon told me to listen to the tape measure above anything else. Measure, measure, measure. Write down the numbers and take a look. It is quite rewarding. You are doing great!
   — VICKIE H.

October 23, 2008
I'd say you're prety normal, actually! It takes your brain soooo long to catch up. Just think how long it's been looking at a large person. The next step after that will happen, is that you will look at your new body and can't believe that's you in it! Really, it will hapen. Bring this up in your support griup and see what your peers say. You'll soon have to keep from thinking how "hot" you finally look, honestly! -Darlene
   — dadebrito

October 24, 2008
I am totally in the same boat as you on this! I hear all the time how different I look, even like a totally different person. My body is still shaped the same, it is just a smaller version of what it was when I started out. But even though I still see the same old me, I know for a FACT that I looked different and I'll tell ya why. People I used to see all the time but haven't seen for about 3 months, just 3 months mind you, did not recognize me at all when I saw them at Walmart. I sadi hi to them and they said hi back but with a look on their face as if to say "who the heck is this? Probably just some crazy lady" and then they walked away! At first I thought, "how rude!" but then it dawned on me that they just did not recognize me! lol So there is a difference when you lose 101 pounds and go from a size 30/32 to a size 18/20 like I did. Just tell yourself that over and over, that yes you do look diferent, and you will begin to believe it!
   — ImanAbdulaziz

October 24, 2008
This is something that is going to take time. I can see the 50lb loss in my face but not anywhere else. When I asked friends and co-workers that have had it done about it they say that it can take up to a year for you to real see yourself as thin or smaller or prettier etc. It is definitely a mental thing that you have to work through. If time does not help then I would suggest talking to someone so that you don't become obsessed with a distorted image of yourself.
   — phyllismmay

October 24, 2008
Hi ! I am 4 months out too. And yes I too have a hard time seeing myself differently. I was a size 24 and am now am into 14's on my way to 12's. I was 228 before surgery and today weighed in at 166. for a loss of 61 lbs since surgery, and I feel great, but I don't see it. I know its happening, the scale says so, and in pics I do see a smaller double chin...lol. but am told that it takes longer for the eyes to see what the body has done. Congrats on the weight loss! hope this helps ya! hugs, Kim
   — gpcmist

October 24, 2008
hi there do not fear we all are the same way. i have lost 62 lbs in 3 mths i do not see it ,but i can tell with some of my cloths and now i cannot where my wedding rings as they fell off 2 x in the past week, i am still wearing the same cloths and will for awhile. but i started at 360 so 60 lbs is not even that noticeable other people see it but i cant or couldnt . i have another 150 lbs to lose and scared thats its going to stop too soon i have heard of it and i do have a hard time exercisng and my doc suggests i wait till i lose more to exercise ,as i cant be as mobile as others but i try anyway. we all feel this way at some point also some live in fear as i said that it will stop. your doing great so far keep it up i havent even changed my cloths yet as they still fit so feel good you have gone down in size . talk soon Cathy
   — cathacus

October 30, 2008
First of all, you're doing great! It will take awhile before your mind's eye gets used to seeing the packaging change. In addition, some of us are just built more "solid" than others. I've gone from over 250 to 195 in 6 months, and while I see a thinner face, my middle is still right out there. Have lost weight in my hands, feet, arms, ankles, and tush, but will ALWAYS be thick through the abdomen. Didn't help that I had two 10-lb babies over 16 years ago, and kept on gaining from there. Have gone from a 3X to a (mostly) 1X but still need a 2X in some things (I'm fairly tall). I want to lose 30 more pounds but I don't expect ever to be smaller than an 18. If you look at every female in my family, we're all built exactly the same way. When I was in college, having been a fat child, I managed to diet down to 145. I couldn't drink a glass of WATER without gaining weight! Everyone said I was too thin, and I was. But even at that weight, I wore a 14. Part of my problem was that I finally got used to seeing myself as a 14 way back when, then the weight started creeping up, and I had trouble seeing the fat me. Eventually I did, had the LAPBAND, and am now trying to find the thinner me, but it's elusive! You can buy smaller blue jeans, but can't change your hard-coded genes!
   — mum




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