Question:
I'd like to hear stories from post ops concerning reactions to them after they lost.
I'd like to hear from post ops regarding how their co-workers and/or others are treating them after they lost the weight. I have big issues with my co-workers and I'm sure most of it is because of weight discrimination. Thank you! — cpinck (posted on July 27, 2006)
July 27, 2006
I was extremely fortunate as my co-workers were wonderful, before as well
as after. Actually, they were so supportive in me having surgery and I
think they got a bigger kick out of me regaining my "shape" than
I was. I have struggled with the attention, but it has helped my
self-esteem and confidence. I hope your can be as supportive.
— scharlier
July 27, 2006
Hi Cherri - I was also fortunate with co-workers. They have all been very
supportive and very complimentary. I have lost 102lbs in 9 months and they
all keep telling me how great I look. I also get a few people who I
haven't seen in a year not recognize me - that is funny. I have had fun
with it. My Management hasn't really acted differently to me - they were
fine before and they are fine now. Good luck with your journey!!
— akirsch
July 27, 2006
All I can say was I wish I had co-workers and management like the 2 people
above me. I had my surgery almost 1 year ago and have lost over 150lbs. I
work super closely with one female who is morbidly obese and has a very
nasty attitude. her attitude towards me has only gotten more negative and
worse. I have had a few meetings with management and nothing has been
done. Unfortunately she has worked here for 13 years and me only 2 years
so everyone takes he side. I am getting ready to go out on medical leave
for back surgery and probably will not be returning to this job. Its
unfortunate because I really like my job but cannot handle the stress she
puts on me by not talking to me (we sit an arms legnth away) or by being
nasty towards me. Now, as far as everyone else in this world...it is
amazing at how differently you get treated being thin. I have also
struggled with all of the attention but also enjoy it, almost a little too
much.
Good Luck.
— *Malena* M.
July 27, 2006
Hi Cherri, Well, I have had good and bad reactions to the new me. I am
down 115 lbs , surgery was Nov 1st, 2005. One of my best friends has had
some issues, although she wont admit it, when I first told her about the
surgery, she said "oh geez, what are you going to be a size
"5" ??" she was kinda snotty about it , then she never made
it to the hospital for the 3 days that I was there, and when she did show
up at my house, I was resting and didnt hear her come in, she talked to my
hubby for a minute and left, I called her about 5 minutes later when I
could get to a phone, and she didnt even come back, my feelings were hurt..
but through the process she has gotten better and has actually complimented
me. I think she thought I was going to change my feelings towards her,
because she is a big girl too.. but now I feel even more for heavy people,
there is defininetly discrimination going on..
Another female coworker, a younger, pretty, girl, who has slowly been
putting on some weight since Ive had the surgery has been sort of crappy.
About 3 months out , she came up to me and said geez you need a better
bra.. I had lost about 50 lbs and they are saggy, but I am doing the best
I can with what Ive got until I get my breast lift in October.. then she
made another comment a month or 2 ago , what are you in a size 14 now?? and
she was really snotty about it.. she has said nothing nice to me
whatsoever, she just eyeballs me all of the time..
The other thing I have noticed is that the men who work in our building
ignored me when I was heavy, I could be loaded down with briefcases, bags,
etc.. and they would not lift a finger to open a door for me now they
break their legs to get to the door to help me.. it really irks me!!
Now on the good side, several of my "loser" friends who have had
the surgery (who I met on OH) have been the best cheerleaders for me, and
me for them too!! They understand the need for praise and that each pound
counts.. some friends and husbands just dont get that part of this!! They
get sick of hearing "I lost another one!!"
So my best wishes to you in your journey, you'll never regret it!!! The
only persons reaction that matters is yours!!!
Take care!!!
April :)
— April
July 27, 2006
Cherri,
I see you are getting a mixed bag. I have been treated very well by my
co-workers. I constantly get compliments from all level from the VP of my
department to people who work in the cafateria. The most important thing
is how you treat your self. Most people tell me it is not just my size but
my changed attitude and constant smile on my face they notice. Dont let
others drag you back down. For the ones who may still have their own
weight struggles just remember we have all been there try to remember when
you were in their shoes dont get mad at them but sympathis with them. Good
luck with everything
— Tina G.
July 27, 2006
Cheri, I do not work outside the home so I can't say I have co-workers, but
my friends and family have been great. When I read the answer from the gal
who has MO co-worker who makes nasty comments, I was not surprised. When
I attended the informational meeting a year ago, the nurse who was running
the meetings basically said that folks who are MO and have refused surgery
will be the least supportive, if not hostile! And boy was she right! I
have a sis-in-law who is less than 5 feet tall and weighs around 300lbs.
She is wheel chair bound and on oxygen ALL THE TIME. Has she called to see
how I am? No. Has her husband even asked my hubby how I am? No - and they
are brothers! I believe that a lot of MO people refuse surgery, which is
their right, but some seem to think that all other MO people should refuse
it, too! We have a family reunion on that side of the family in August and
let me tell you, it will be interesting!!! You didn't ask for advice, but
here is some free stuff: Make it clear that you will only tolerate the
good stuff. You need to surround yourself with positve people and if you
want to be critical, save it for someone else. Good luck to you!!!!
— Mrs. Crabapple
July 27, 2006
Everyone treated me very well EXCEPT a few who definetely need WLS, and
diss the surgery and everything about it because they dont wanty it
themselves or close family and friends. My step mom is definetely anti
WLS:( there are several type 2s in the family, who really need to lose the
weight...
— bob-haller
July 27, 2006
Hi. I got good comments from everyone. I went from 283 to my current
weight of 130. The only comments I get now is "You need to stop
losing weight... you are turning into a twig!" lol
— mzb2u
July 27, 2006
Well in my case, some of my co-workers supported me from the very start.
Others kinda questioned my decision. Before I left for my surgery, I
didn't tell many people what I was going to have done, but I was so anxious
to get back to work and here all the funny assumptions as to where they
thought I was going and what I was having done. At least 5 people thought
that I had lyposuction...lol. But however, when I did tell people what I
had done, they were a little shocked but yet they were also very happy for
me. They like to keep up with my weight loss and compliment me on how
baggy my clothes are getting.
— PoohBearNC
July 27, 2006
My co-workers are not supportive at all. They thing obiesity is caused by
a lack of will power
— mikedanziger
July 27, 2006
I've had for the most part very positive comments. They have all been
supportive but in being supportive they have almost been offensive and
hurtful. It's like I'm so much better now. I also get people asking lots of
curious questions and sometimes questioning my food choices. I don't like
being asked constantly "so is the surgery still working for you"
etc. at my work place but I'm too nice to tell people to mind their own
business when I know they are interested.
— newslady72712
July 27, 2006
Well it is weird because once I started losing the people at work started
really taking a "shine" towards me!! My evaluations totally
improved (and I was doing the same quality work).. It is just totally
amazing!! I still felt FAT until I had all of my plastic surgery! Then
boy did I really start getting the looks & comments!! And it wasn't
because I didn't look good before the plastic surgery, it was how my
attitude changed!! I started wearing make-up, blowing my hair straight,
getting fitted clothes!! Wow that made all the difference, I didn't
realize how much power those skinny chicks had, LOL!! Now that I am
pregnant I am kind of in a slump again, feeling sorry for myself for
gaining any amount of weight and not being able to wear my clothes, and I
have stopped taking the effort to fix up (I have contant headaches, so I
don't feel like it).. I hope I answered your question, but it was tough
because now I work with different people who have only known me small!
— GAYLE CARMACK-LYONS
July 27, 2006
I am over 3 years post-op but I did have some coworkers who were not
supportive after my surgury. My sitiuation was a little unusual because my
daughter and I both had the surgury on the same day by the same Doctor and
we both worked in the same place. I found that most of the people I worked
with were great, if not a little worried about us. You see there was an
office manager from our office who had moved to another part of the state
that died of complications from her bypass about 3 months prior to our
date. But some of the employees, mostly people who could have benefitted
for having the operation, who thought it was a "stupid" thing to
do. And my new office manager made the comment that the company shouldn't
have to pay for what he referred to as "cosmetic surgury". Some
people are just ignorant and you need to ignore those people and be
thankful for those who support you. I have since changed jobs and when I
run into someone that I worked with previously they all tell me how great I
look now. Just remember why you did it and how great you feel without
having to carry that extra weight around all day. Good luck.
— rose2rose
July 27, 2006
My corworkers and family were extremely supportive when I had my surgery 3
1/2 years ago. Two of my old coworkers acutally asked for support when
they decided to have WLS. To be completely honest, it is amazing how
differently people treat you once you become thin. I was never a person
who stayed at home not interacting with people prior to my WLS, but I can
see a huge difference in how both men and women treat me. It is fun for me
now, but takes some adjusting.
— C. Burns
July 28, 2006
I have heard of many who have experienced the jealousy factor and end up
spiteful toward them, but that was not my experience. I think perhaps for
me, although there are plenty of strong personalities that I didn't always
get along with there, I was open and honest about what was going on with me
and made a point to explain that I didn't feel like I could do this on my
own and wasn't going to wait around forever to find out. I think that gave
some who might have otherwise been snotty with me both a sense of
understanding about it, and that I wasn't haughty, and also gave them the
opportunity to see my example that they may soon follow. More than
anything I have more people who want to do what I did, and I hope they are
able to follow that example for themselves. You may end up with some nasty
co-workers, but not everyone will be. And if it is out of jealousy,
reassuring people of your own struggles will perhaps help.
— Dinka Doo
July 28, 2006
Hi! I am almost four months out, and have lost 66 lbs so far. The people
that I work with have been sooo supportive! They cannot wait to see me and
to see how much weight I have lost since they last saw me! My bosses, I
work for orthodontists, have been super supportive too! I find that all
people are inquisitive about the surgery, and I am more than willing to
share what I know! As far as how I look now.. I think that my friends are
more excited about it than I am, they have even commented on it! I like
the way that I look, but my "goal" was met the day I left the
hospital, leaving the insulin and other drugs behind! Good luck!
— earthangel
July 29, 2006
Thanks everyone for the wonderful responses! I'm hoping that after my
surgery, my co-workers will treat me better than they do now but I've been
warned that this might not happen. At least, my self-esteem should be much
better so I can be stronger to deal with them. I've considered looking for
another job, but I make good money and it would be hard to find a job where
I made the same amount of money.
Thanks again for the great responses!
— cpinck
July 29, 2006
Great question. I've thought of doing the RNY for about two years now. The
main reason it's taken so long is that I keep talking myself out of it and
try losing the weight on my own. My wife is my number one supporter, my
family is also behind me. At school I do have a few people who tell not to
do it, and just stop eating. Right now I weigh 351 lbs., the just stop
eating thing won't even come close to helping me.
Use yourself and the people who 'really' love you as a gauge of your
success. The people who don't support you probably don't care for you as
much as you think they did.
— Ron .
July 30, 2006
My I work in the medical field so my co-workers were very supportive,
excited for me, and complimentary. My family was very surprised (I lived
and had surgery in California then moved home to Texas- it had been about
year since they had last seen me at 250#s). My husband had a bit of a
difficult time seeing a new me emerge every month a few pounds lighter
because I began to dress a little differently and I became a little more
outgoing. He was the star of our family - Mr. Fit & Good looking, Mr.
Personality. So when I began to take on that same role he became a little
threatened that I was moving him out of the limelight because people were
starting to take notice of me too. However, my surgeon warned me that this
was a potential "side effect" of the surgery. No one believes I
was ever that big and always ask for pictures to prove it. I don't think
I've ever encountered a negative person other than those who have only
heard negative rumors or are misinformed or have their own fears about the
surgery. Good Luck! You didn't go into specifics about the type of
problems people are giving you.
— CHARLYLVN
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