Question:
Did I make the right decision/why don't they understand?

As I posted before, My employer did not want to let me off for the surgery because I didn't accrue enough time and because there are only two people in my department and the other person is on medical leave. I was debating whether I should take off for the surgery w/o pay, and RISK loosing my job, or if I should stay, and be miserable for a couple of months when I have already been approved and have a date. I decided to take the RISK of loosing my job and I'm getting a lot of feed back from people stating that I made a bad decision. Some people was like, "what harm would it do you, to wait a couple of months". They don't understand my situation, I am morbidly obese. I can't even go grocery shopping with my husband without running to the car to sit down because of all of this excess weight on my back. Why can't they understand? If I didn't need this surgery, I wouldn't have been approved in 3 days, or at all for that fact.    — Luscious1 X. (posted on January 3, 2003)

January 3, 2003
I think I would have waited. I did. I had to wait 3 months before my surgery because of my STD wouldn't have kicked in. I couldn't afford to be off of work for 8 weeks without a paycheck. My company also appreciated it when I left with my job instructions. It made my departure and return much easier.
   — dolphins94

January 3, 2003
Hi, I have a friend who is in the hospital now(had her open RNY yesterday) She wanted to put her surgery off for a while and the insurance kicked on it. They told her it was medically necessary and needed to be done now. You have to do what is right for you honey. Good Luck!!
   — Sharon1964

January 3, 2003
When I decided to have this surgery, I put my blinders on and no one or no thing was going to stop me. I quit one job to get on my wifes insurance because it was easier to get approved. Bottom line this surgery is for you, not them. If the roles were reversed they would be just like you. It is easy to be judgemental when you have never stood in our shoes. No one but us knows how hard it is to be this big, and how important this is to us. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy...no one else will.
   — dkinson

January 3, 2003
You need to stop feeling like it is your responsibility to "take care of" everyone ELSE and do what you have to do to take care of yourself. (We fatties have this "thing" about needing to "take care of" everyone -- believe me, I understand!) And -- GET MAD!!! It sounds like your employer and others around you are doing what so many in our society do -- they are looking at this as if you have a "character flaw" -- instead of a MEDICAL CONDITION. This is not "elective" surgery, although EVERYONE from the insurance companies to those who say we should be able to just "push away from the table" likes to try to convince us that it is. If you are having to RUN to your car from the grocery store because you can't be on your feet any longer, then this is DEFINITELY a medical condition that needs to be treated ASAP! You need to make your employer understand that they would not ask a CANCER patient to "just wait until the other person gets back" -- WOULD they??? Would they like you to "just wait" until you have a heart attack on the job? GET ANGRY, realize that this is NOT a character flaw but an urgent medical condition, take responsibility for your part in it but also realize that it is NOT entirely your fault (in other words, stop blaming yourself, 'cuz it only makes it easier for them to convince you that they are right and you are wrong), and STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR RIGHTS! You have a RIGHT to be healthy! Good luck to you, and my prayers are with you.
   — Allison S.

January 3, 2003
You made the right choice........It was a no brainer......Your life, or a job. you can always get a new job, if they do not understand, that is there problem, not yours. I truly believe everything happens for a reason, if this job is not there when you are able to go back to work, maybe it was not the right job. Maybe when you are ready to go back to work, there will be a new job to go along with your new life as a skinny person.
   — cindy

January 3, 2003
Screw the job! You can always get another job. Do what you need to do for your health! You don't need anyone's permission to do what's right for you - if someone doesn't like it, tell 'em to kiss your soon-to-be-skinny ass! :-)
   — Angie M.

January 3, 2003
You are the only one that knows if you can afford to live without this job. I would have quit ANY job in a heartbeat that didn't support my need for a life saving surgery. Who knows, in 3 months you could get something that doesn't allow you to have the surgery. Better get it NOW while you can. You'll be SO much healthier in 3 months!! It's not up to your employer to tell you when you CAN or CANNOT have a surgery. It's actually none of their business what kind of surgery you are having! It might be convenient for them for you to wait, but what are they going to do? Take away your birthday? No! Can you live without the paycheck? You only know this. Can you "live" without the job? Yes. Can you live without this surgery? Maybe not. Take care of YOU!
   — Diana L.

January 3, 2003
See if you are covered under the Family Medical Leave Act. You would be covered if your employer "employs 50 or more employees for each working day during each of 20 or more calendar work weeks in the current or preceding calendar year." If so then you can invoke the Family and Medical Leave Act and you employer cannot fire you. <p> Synopsis of Law <p> Covered employers must grant an eligible employee up to a total of 12 workweeks of unpaid leave during any 12-month period for one or more of the following reasons: <p> for the birth and care of the newborn child of the employee; <p> for placement with the employee of a son or daughter for adoption or foster care; <p> to care for an immediate family member (spouse, child, or parent) with a serious health condition; or <p> to take medical leave when the employee is unable to work because of a serious health condition. <p>http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla/ <p> Take Care, Be Well, and Be Happy!
   — John T.