Question:
***I AM CONSIDERING THE WLS AND MY FAMILY IS MAKING ME A LILTTLE SCARED***
I AM CONSIDERING THE WLS AND MY FAMILY IS MAKING ME A LITTLE SCARED SOME OF MY FAMILY IS BEHIND ME 100% BUT THEN SOME ARE LIKE I WOULD'NT DO THAT I KNOW I GOTTA BE THE ONE TO LIVE IN MY BODY BUT WITH ALL THE MIXED FEELINGS I'M ALREADY GOING THROUGH I'M A LITTLE SCARED I HAVE A 17 MONTH OLD SON THAT I WANNA SEE GROW UP AND AT THE RATE I'M GOING I WON'T BE ABLE TO I HAVE TRIED MANY DIETS AND NONE REALLY WORKED BUT NOW IM THINKING SHOULD I GO ALONG WITH WHAT I FEEL IS THE BEST CHOICE(DIET AGAIN) OR THE RIGHT CHOICE(WLS)?PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE?!?! — NISHA122083 (posted on January 12, 2006)
January 12, 2006
Everyone is aprehensive when it comes to WLS as they should be. Weigh (no
pun intended) all your options and your pros and cons. I had second and
third thoughts but I finally did it 14 months agao and I have lost to date
156 pounds and besides having my three boys it was the best thing I have
ever done. I tell everyone I meet that I would do it again tomarrow. Good
luck and if you do have the WLS and you do well as I know you will...your
family will also see it was WELL WORTH IT !!!!!!! Brenda
Brock...Lawrenceburg, KY
— bbrock416
January 12, 2006
CHECK OUT ALL THE ALTERNATIVE, THE BAND, THE RNY, AND THE DS, each has
particurlar benefit for the individual, I am partial to the DS. check out
the DS forum, ask about, it. .
— walter A.
January 12, 2006
Hi Danisha!
If you weren't a little concerned about going through surgery, there'd be
somethign wrong with you. It does sound like you're educated about the
surgery and that you're considering it for the right reasons, the same ones
I did, being around to see my daughter grow up and really be part of her
life again.
Doing this isn't easy. But it's a brave, bold thing to do for yourself and
your child. All you really have to do is look at your past, and consider
whether you really think it will be different in your future attempts. For
most of us, we know the usual dieting just won't do it for us. We need this
surgery as a tool to strengthen our will power. Some people ARE different,
though, and can do it on their own. Which type of person do you think you
are? Are your doubts more your own, or your family's misguided attempts to
scare you? The horror stories they've heard are just that. Terrible and
unfortunate incidents, but very rare, also. Then there are also sometimes
the people who want to scare us because theyd on't WANT us to lose weight.
They like a feeling of superiority over us, or they worry that we'll be
more independent of them if we lose weight. Sometimes spouses are even
afraid their wives will leave them and try to scare them out of it.
Sometimes they try to talk us out of it because they'd be ashamed to admit
they had someone in their family who'd had to have their "stomach
stapled" rather than just a fat person waiting to die. It's sad.
It's a very personal decision, and one you maybe shouldn't undergo if
you're unsure of yourself. Just be sure whether it's your own lack of
certainty that's doing it, or other people's.
Personally, I was very sure I wanted, and needed this surgery 3 years
before I actually got the ball rolling on it. I had researched it and I was
able to admit to myself my own weakness when it came to
"dieting". I'd made hundreds of attempts at that.
But I let my family's vague notion of horror stories in the media talk me
out of it. I wasn't ready to stand up to them, and I didn't think I could
make it through this without their support. In the 3 years that followed,
let me tell you, medical conditions and weight snowballed and became
unbearable. I was miserable and in pain every single day, so depressed I
wanted to kill myself, and I could barely leave the house. THings go
downhilll VERY quickly when it comes to weight. I knew I would die soon,
either of depression or my medical conditions caused by the weight.
Whatever you do, don't let it get that bad before seeking help.
I finally stood up to my family and told them that I had, after much
research and consideration, decided that this was the best thing for me and
my daughter, that they could stand by me, or not. Most of them eventually
did. And whenever I needed additional support, I came here. :)
Let me know if you'd like to talk more.
Christie
468/195/168 and new mom to Luke, born 7/15
— christied
January 12, 2006
Danisha, Hi there. I first looked into WLS 2 years ago ,but my family
didn't want me to do it either so I didn't, by July of last year I was a
heafty 338 lbs my weight kept creeping up, I was too embarrassed to go
anywhere and so freakin' uncomfortable all the time. I finally decided I
couldn't take it any longer I didn't want to live like this any more. I
have a 12 year old son and I have been heavy his whole life and I have
missed out on so many things with him that I can't take back. Life isn't a
dress rehearsel, so I decided to go for the WLS regardless of wether my
family liked it or not. I knew it was now or never so in Sept of 2005 I had
my Roux-ny and would do it again in a heart beat. I have lost over 70 lbs
already and actually ran down my drive way with my son the other day not
fast at all but I did run for the first time in a long ,long time. Good
Luck on your journey, it is a life enhancing experience. Sincerely Pj.
— sunnie
January 12, 2006
I too was very skeptical about making my decision to have wls. For the same
reason as you, I have a young child who is 8 years old. She is the light of
my world. I had to sit back and really think about what I wanted to do.
Yes, there are dangers and risks with having wls. Yes, some people have
died. Yes, some people suffer long term effects. But, in my case I was
willing to take that chance if it would mean I would be healthier, and have
the chance to be around to see my daughter grow up. On this board you will
get several different answers. No one answer is better than another, but
like you said you are the one who has to live in your body and live with
the choice you make. I would suggest that you do the research about the
surgery. Look into the many different types, the hospitals, and doctors.
Then make a well informed decision. Melissa
— kizie23
January 12, 2006
— Patricia C.
January 12, 2006
Hey Danisha --Ditto to what everyone has already said. When I first told
my Mother that I was thinking about having the surgery, she was a little
apprehensive. However, when she saw my partner this past summer, I think
it changed her mind. My partner had the surgery a little over 2 years ago
and she looks great. I've been overweight all my life and now that has
moved to the obese scale. For the past 5 years the scales have been
tipping between 280 and 294 (that's the highest I've gotten). I'm in
process now of my insurance companies requirement of a 6 month weight loss
program. My doctor started me on an appetite suppressant back in December
and it really works, however, it's not suggested to stay on it because it's
addictive and makes you weird. I can't give you any advice, however, I can
give you encouragment. You desire to have this surgery for you and to be
around to watch your child grow up and to be their for your son. If you
have cable, check out the Discovery Channel every once in a while, they
will have a success story about someone who had the surgery and they even
have a show with a panel of physicians and the nutrienist talk specifically
about the surgery -- the before, the after, the complications, etc. It is
very informative. Check this site for information from you state regarding
physicians, insurers and hospitals that have clinics that perform the
surgery. Check out all your options.
Peace,
— the7thdean
January 13, 2006
You are younger than I, so it might be different than me. My doctor told me
I was more likely to die of morbidities of obesity than the surgery. I am
64 yrs old. He also told me that if I had to have any other kind of
surgery, any invasive surgery, that other surgeries would be just as
dangerous for me. In other words, the morbidity rate is the same for wls as
any other.
— geneswife
January 13, 2006
Just Remember that you are doing this for yourself. We care for everyone
else and when it is our turn we tend to put us off. I had the Fobie Pouch
August 30, 2005 and I did it for myself, I chose not to tell family members
not even my grown children only my husband knew,he was my support,until I
was close to having the surgery not knowing how they would feel about it, I
did not want to hear anything negative from them if they had negative
thoughts about the surgery, I did a lot of research before I decided to go
through with the surgery, the more research I did the stronger I became and
when I chose to tell the family I was able to listen to their opinions,
most were positive. At 3 months P.O. I had lost 55 pounds and I do not even
feel like I ever had surgery. Research and Research more until you know
everything possible about WLS and what changes you will be going through,
this is only a tool the Surgeon has given you, follow what they tell you
and you will see and feel the results. In my opinion it was the best choice
I made for myself. Beverly
— Shiney04
January 13, 2006
Just Remember that you are doing this for yourself. We care for everyone
else and when it is our turn we tend to put us off. I had the Fobie Pouch
August 30, 2005 and I did it for myself, I chose not to tell family members
not even my grown children only my husband knew,he was my support,until I
was close to having the surgery not knowing how they would feel about it, I
did not want to hear anything negative from them if they had negative
thoughts about the surgery, I did a lot of research before I decided to go
through with the surgery, the more research I did the stronger I became and
when I chose to tell the family I was able to listen to their opinions,
most were positive. At 3 months P.O. I had lost 55 pounds and I do not even
feel like I ever had surgery. Research and Research more until you know
everything possible about WLS and what changes you will be going through,
this is only a tool the Surgeon has given you, follow what they tell you
and you will see and feel the results. In my opinion it was the best choice
I made for myself. Beverly
— Shiney04
January 13, 2006
My best friend suggested I was insane to even consider it. he became my
biggest supporter and recommended WLS to his daughter. have your family
meet a successful post op down a 100 pounds. that should help convince them
its a good idea!
— bob-haller
January 13, 2006
You said..."BUT NOW IM THINKING SHOULD I GO ALONG WITH WHAT I FEEL IS
THE BEST CHOICE(DIET AGAIN) OR THE RIGHT CHOICE(WLS)?PLEASE GIVE ME SOME
ADVICE?!?!"
Dana,
Simple Fact: Research indicates 95% of all people who diet regain all their
previous weight and usually a little more...within 18 to 24 months. Knowing
that why would dieting again be the best choice?
I am 47, a physician of Internal Medicine, and i had DHY Gastric Bypass 4
months ago. There is now 15 years of data on the benefits and risks of this
surgery. It is not a new procedure. It is a proven procedure. I only regret
that I didn't do it earlier.
It does have risks. It is a dramatic lifestyle change. It is not an easy
way out. It is dramatically life changing, and if you are committed, it
works with few exceptions.
You must weight the risks and benefits and make your own choice.
Once you have made that decision, you must invite those who are not
supportive out of the picture, mouths shut, opinions held to themselves,
and out of your face and life if necessary, until you have had the surgery
and fully recovered. No ifs, ands, or buts.
They must shut up or ship out..no further conversation. If they get
mad...they are the ones with the problem...and they are not your friend if
they cannot put their own bias aside once you have made up your mind.
They have no problem flapping their gums and telling you what they
think...so neither should you when it comes to them. You set limits on what
they can say or do around you..and you tell them you better not see hide
nor hair of them if they can't zip their lips and keep it to themselves.
Friends speak their minds ONCE..and then respect your right to your own
decision.
Family who can't behave like friends...AREN'T. You do not owe ANY family
member the right to treat you with disrespect or denigration.
Make up your mind, and your friends here will support you and respect you
as an adult
Everyone shout AMEN!
— mrwmd
January 13, 2006
You really need to research the wls process, then make the decision based
on that. My personal opinion is go for it. My mom is behind me 100 % but
she was very worried because she doesnt want me to die. I told her that if
it is my time to go it will happen wether I have the surgery or not. Also
the chances of me having a premature death is greater with all the weight I
am carrying. good luck in your decision and I hope you find peace in
whatever you decide.
— maria_sola
January 13, 2006
Double Amen Marcus--you go boy--
— clm
January 13, 2006
Hey, I was in your same shoes. I also had a two year old. My family felt
that it was too risky but then again they realized it was my choice and
they were behind me the whole time. I had my surgery 12-09-05. I wouldn't
change a thing. I am sure what your family wants to see like mine is that
this is 110% what YOU want to do and that you have no doubts. Please let
me know if you need to talk. E-mail me.
Malissa
— M Randell
January 13, 2006
take the sceptics to the seminar and let the stats on mobid obesity do your
talking for you it was enough to get my family 100% behind me donna
— donna m
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