Question:
Testing for RNY--why sad feelings?

I'll ready for wls, but for some reason feel a little sad about the decision. I have accepted the fact that I need help--this is a big step for me. Can't wait to be on the losinig side. We are expecting to have the procedure done around end of July 2008 .    — Toby2 (posted on June 5, 2008)

June 5, 2008
Normal. We all need to grieve for the loss of a way of life. This life has been an unhealthy one but it is familiar and we know it well and that's comforting. We are looking froward to great change, some of it very unknown and that can be intimidating and scary. Two days before my surgery, I started to get cold feet. Mainly the emotions taking over and I had to tell myself that I had researched this and made a rational, unemotional decision at the time and not to think about it any more but to just follow the steps they were telling me to take and get through it. Now I am on the other side and the adjustment is still hard but I know it is for the best. I know for me the fight is not over and there is still much work to do but I have a new tool and I am hoping that will enable me to succeed where I have never been able to succeed before. When I get real discouraged, I sometimes go and look at the before and after pics and that lifts me up. Hang in there! Laura
   — waterlover

June 5, 2008
I felt a little sad too. Mainly because I wished so much that I didn't have to alter my body to be thin. It made me sad that of all the things I have accomplished with such pride and success...losing weight and keeping it off was my biggest and only real failure. It's sad to be defeated by obesity and to have to go to such extremes to just be normal and healthy again. You are not alone in feeling sad...and maybe even have that slight twinge of hope that maybe you can still turn back and lose the weight yourself...and then you read the success and the stories and you just know that this sounds so much easier even with all the immense research you have done by asking a million awesome questions! And keeping everyone here busy...and many others educated by asking the questions they didn't think of! Don't be sad...let it go, knowing that you were not alone in trying to be a normal size and in better health. Know that if it were so easy...so many of us would not have done surgery. For many of us, it was our last resort. It was for me. I didn;'t want to live anymore in my body...I do now and am thankful everyday that I got a second chance. Most of us are so much happier that we did WLS and so much healthier because of it. You will be too. You ARE ready...You are going to do so well. You know what to expect and you have a HUGE support group here. Practice what you've learned while you wait for the date. And before you know it...the day will be here and you WILL be on the losing side.
   — .Anita R.

June 5, 2008
I remember going thru this!!!LOL!!!! It was almost like I had to apologize for my decision to have WLS!!! Gyurl...TREAT urself....be kind to you...appreciate all u have done to encourage others and now recognize u have to encourage urself. U feel sad bcuz ur way of life and thinkin is going to change DRAMATICALLY and put u in an uncomfortable, unfamiliar place but.......trust us..u will NEVER regret ur decision to to have wls...the only regret I have is waiting so long 2 decide. The sad feelings is a part of grieving your loss of your "normal" routine. My sister had RNY 3 mnths ago and is grieving this same loss as well as the loss of her son 1 1/2 yrs ago to a tragic MVA along with the fact that my other sis is suing her for the loss of HER son in the same accident!!!! BUT...she hang in there and realize that she need to takce care of her....
   — caymanbabe

June 6, 2008
I just started my own WLSJ. Had my first class this week and sent my letter to my doctor to fill out for entrance into the program. After I sent the letter in I knew I had taken a serious step and I was feeling anxiety and impatience with myself ---- why couldn't I just have successfully lost weight and not have to take this drastic step? But I know how many times I've tried and I know how many times I've failed. And I know at my age (54) with diabetes, HBP & arthritis in my knees I have reached a point where I MUST improve my quality of life.....or things are going to get worse as I get older. So I'm going ahead with it. Mixed emotions are going to be common, so is fear and worry and expectation anxiety. There are just folks like us who just can't do it left to our own devices. I've tried it all, Weight Watchers, Overeaters Anonymous, Herbalife, appetite suppressants, hypnosis, acupuncture and I've tried this stuff ever since my teens on thru now. I get angry too at the unfairness of folks who appear to not have a problem with eating and keep maintaining a healthy weight. I get angry at men who usuallly can eat alot more than women and stay normal weight. (Some men act like women who are overweight are just pathetic lazy and self indulgent and this really burns me). I have an illness and now there is something out there that can help me. Sooooooo, I'm going for it. I've looked at the pros and cons, weighed my choices and here I go. Gotta just step out there and DO it. You've taken that step....now be confident in it, knowing you are human and will have regrets and questions and human feelings. I feel the same way, but like you I so want to have a better life and quit carrying around all this extra weight. God bless!!!!!
   — zieberrae

June 6, 2008
It's almost like saying good-bye to your best friend. In my case anyhow! There is a grieving process. But if you are firm on the decision to have surgery, your mind and heart are in the preparation process anyhow. Just use this as a catapult and walk out the rest of the journey ONE STEP AT A TIME! Best of luck to you.
   — bariatricdivalatina

June 6, 2008
Weight carries a big emotional burden and guilt. The part that bothers a lot of folks is the fact that their weight got so bad that the only option left was surgery. I felt that way, but I knew it was the right decision. With therapy and support, I've come to accept it. Some people just do not have the ability to stay at a healthy weight without the right tools and the right support system. Find yourself a good therapist who deals with depression and eating issues. They can help you put things in perspective.
   — gonnadoit

June 6, 2008
It is a hard decision and I don't know why we all are so hard on ourselfs, like we failed at life. The fact is after 6-8 weeks, you will see the light at the end of the tunnel and things will be brighter, and much better. I never failled at anything I wanted to do in life except weight loss. I tried everythging and really worked at it. But you know this is simply another change to lose weight that you can succeed at! If you went to the hospital today and were told you appendex was about to rupture and it had to come out, you would not think twice about it, but you know this surgery is about the same as having your appendex out. So look at the good you are doing for yourself and be happy. We are happy for you, because this will end the stops for happy meals for you and you will be joining us that made the choice and now are getting healthier every day. Best of success to you. You made the right choice.
   — William (Bill) wmil

June 8, 2008
Having weight loss surgery was the best decision I ever made. However, I struggled with it because I was sad that it had to come to that point (I used to weigh 140, and day of srgery was 250). I also had to say goodbye to my best friend - food. Food had always been there for me, through good times and bad, and it is difficult. I now know I could've never done it without Lapband. It is my stop sign and my new best friend! Good luck to you..it will be the best decision you have ever made. I've lost 60lbs and feel amazing...and I'm still going!! :)
   — soonerjadeou