Question:
Every-one at work talking about it.....
Every-one at work (an Elementary school,) I am an ESOL aide so I see every-one, are asking wow you went away for 2 weeks and now you are getting smaller! It is too hard to explain to 6-9 year olds And our school is a very nosey school eveyone knows everyones business but now I heard there's almost a poll going around with the teachers on how much weight I have already lost. Do I just post an E-mail and tell them all or let them keep guessing? I am not ashamed of what I have done. I am in fact proud I did it. I knew I could not lose the weight and keep it off so I had to do what was right for me and I did but I don't like that they themselves can not have the guts to ask the questions they want to ask.... So when I heard it yesterday I thought well should I put out a bi-weekly posting???? Please help me help my co-workers. — Shirley H. (posted on April 4, 2007)
April 3, 2007
I work in a high school and everyone is nosey there too. I told a few
people prior to surgery and after I lost about 25 lbs people started to
notice. I still didn't want them to know the truth so I said I was on a
medically supervised program because of my diabetes. As time went on I
started to tell more people because I didn't want rumors to circulate. At
this point, the people I want to know know and the rest can just keep
guessing. If you are not ashamed and proud, you should just tell people
now that you had wls. Explain that you can only eat a small amount of food
and that because of the malabsorption you are losing weight quickly. Say
you did it for your health and had been unsuccessful before in losing
weight and keeping it off. I'm sure they will be supportive. There is
also a lot of jealousy involved. I wouldn't put out an email...speak to
each person individually. I did ask each person I told not to tell others
since I didn't want everyone to know. Good luck!
— Sheri A.
April 3, 2007
Shirley..Welcome to the losing side.This is a matter that a lot of losers
have had to face. I agree with the part about mentioning the
"medically supervised program". Whether or not you mention
Surgery is your business.Sending out an email would be a bit much.Your
co-workers aren't giving a bi-weekly update on their lives, so why should
you have to.You may run into some that are supportive, then again there's
bound to be some that will be down right jealous/envious or
afraid/nosey.Bottom line is, if they don't contribute to your income..then
who cares what they think! Just keep doing what you need to do for YOU.
— purnellj
April 4, 2007
I agree with the previous comments that an email is probably a bit too
much. If you are not ashamed of what you did, then when the opportunity
arises, say when you are at lunch with a few people that you like, let them
know you have had WLS and are very happy with the outcome so far. You can
tell them it is not a secret but it was a very personal decision that you
are just now ready to start sharing with others and if anyone has any
questions they should ask you directly. I am sure the word will get around
and those genuinely interested in your journey (or starting their own) will
find you to ask you more about it. Those who still lurk in the background
were never going to be supportive to begin with and probably will still
gossip or whatever no matter what you do. Good luck on your journey! Patti
— pattilca
April 4, 2007
Congrats on your loss! Something you could do--why not call a meeting with
all the teachers etc, and then address the rumors etc and state "what
I had done is my business, however if you have any questions, please feel
free to ask ME, not help spread rumors etc" Schools are supposed to
be a PROFESSIONAL place of work, not a gossip column! Personally, if it
were me, I'd walk right up to whatever person I hear spreading the rumors,
and say, "yes, I had wls and your point would be?" LOL but
that's me...I've told everyone that I had wls, and will continue to do
so...I feel if they don't like it, they don't need to stick their nose in
my business...I, like you, am PROUD that I was able to get this tool to
help me, and I know some will just be jealous that I will be
"competition" to the "man pool" later on...Just know
that if you confront the issue head on, you can possibly get the gossip and
rumors to stop...Good luck whatever you decide...
— crystalsno
April 4, 2007
Thank you everone that helped me out with my issue so yes I have decided to
just make it known by the few that have talked to me that If any one ask
just tell them to ask me I like to talk about it. It is going to work
better than an E-Mail that was a bit much I know LOL!!!!!
Thanks everyone I knew you all could help me!
Shirley
— Shirley H.
April 4, 2007
Shirley,
Don't Hide It, Divide It.
I tell people because you never know who is listening and might be thinking
about doing the same thing and don't know how to go about it. People need
to understand that the process may be quicke; however, it is by no means
EASY!
Or you can just say like Star Jones keep saying, it was an emergency
medical intervention!
— the7thdean
April 4, 2007
I decided up front that I am not ashamed of my decision and I look for
opportunities to share my testimony with whoever I can. If I can help
dispell the fear of the surgery than that is a good thing. Be proud that
you made the decision to take control of your health. In my experience
people judge me because of their own convictions of failure. Lets face it.
It is easier to judge others than our own selves. Personally, I would make
a game of it. Put a jar out for everyone to guess how much weight you have
lost and give a prize to the one who guesses correctly. If you display
confidence than they have nothing to gossip about. Congratulations on the
new, healthier you!!!
— deeport
April 5, 2007
Hello,
I'd let them in on the secret...of course after I 've had a little fun with
them...LOL. I let everyone know ahead of time so that they could either
cheer me on or be envious...I was open because the info I share might save
someone's life.
— Tennille M.
April 5, 2007
I would have some fun with this situation as well! Get in on the wager!
That should really mess their heads up. I bet your problem arise from a
bunch of hater women. BTW, all they have to do is GOOGLE your name... every
entry we make on this site is published on this wonderful wide web. It even
allows ya to click on your name and direct one right to this very
question/answer site.
— NEETAJEAN
April 5, 2007
AMOS MOD NOTE: Its true everythiung posted on the net can be searched, and
find your name. If privacy is a issue the site can change your profile
name. Frankly I am proud of having WLS. If you search my name you will find
of course WLS references, lots of stuff about satellite tv, some on NASA
and space, and misc other stuff. You will also find references to a bob
haller the author, whgich is NOT me. I use my real name everywhere but the
privacy issue is why you should never post your phone number anywhere on
the net, with reverse lookup someone can find your address.
— bob-haller
April 6, 2007
Hello and congrats Shirley, I can't tell you what to do, I will only
suggest. I would tell people only IF I wanted them to know. It may help
those who are struggling with the decision to have the surgery themselves,
that someone else has set an example. You can't change what others talk
about. But, you can change how you feel about their prying. Keep your head
held high, knowing you love yourself enough to take care of YOU.
— wonderfull5357
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