Question:
Is it normal for a man to have low sex drive after WLS when there was no problem befo

I understand this question is one of a delicate nature, but one I hope other WLS men will have to courage to stand up and tell their solution. You may email me directly.    — SANDI S. (posted on February 8, 2003)

February 8, 2003
As you know, I am not a man. But I can say this much...just like a women, after any major surgery (and this IS major surgery!!) your body had to re-adjust to not only the fact you are no longer running on 50 million tons of food a day, but also it has to adjust to the rapid weight loss. Once your body adjusts...and it could actually be a year before it does...you should return to normal. Also, the other issue is simply, how you view yourself. I know from personal experience that after having my son and seeing my body go through these weird changes, the last thing on my mind was sex. It was almost a year before I finally accepted myself and relaxed and well...things got back to normal. If you are married...try talking to your wife about it. If she's pressuring you, you need to let her know. If there's something "new" you two could try...like (oh god, this topic is going to kill me...) longer foreplay focusing on you more...I could go into details, but seriously, use your imagination. Have some fun...If you don't actually have intercouse, you two will both enjoy just being close together.
   — Renee B.

February 8, 2003
While you're waiting for some answers--- I would say a couple of things: Did you look this up in the Library? I would think there would be something in there on this. The Library has posts from thousands of people verses what may see this on one day. Also this surgery has to be a assault against the body for awhile - pain, change in internal structure etc. - I think alot changes - although he should feel better emotionally about himself and have more energy. Good Luck - Sally, Harrison, MI
   — Sally P.

February 8, 2003
hi there :) im not a man either but im sure they will go through the hormonal changes due to surgery itself and due to rapid weight loss. i venture to say, he will experience a non existant sex drive all the way to a very high sex drive. i had none until maybe 3 months out and at that point i became a wild child! grrrrrrrrrrr! hehehe;)
   — carrie M.

February 8, 2003
Actually, I have more of a sex drive after the surgery (once I got past the "no energy" part) than before. My testosterone level which was below the low point of the normal range is now in the normal range (low normal, but normal). <p> The fact that I can make love to my wife without feeling like I was going to die has a lot to do with it too *G*...JR (open RNY 07/17 -152 lbs)
   — John Rushton

February 8, 2003
Mine really picked up a few weeks after the surgery. If your man is having a problem, you might want to take a look at the medications he is on.
   — Chris P.

February 9, 2003
i know one of the reasons i gained weight was for self protect...in my own warped way. i would use it to push people away, but i knew if they really cared about me that they would stay no matter the weight. i used my fat as a blanket. maybe he is feeling "uncovered". alot of us use fat as a shield....maybe after so long of being over weight and thinking alot of "what-if's" (what if i was thin and could play sports like a pro or what if i was thin and could make love to a woman all night ect..) these little things we all wonder about.(i want to be a total sexy goddess haha) after feeling so bad for so long about his weight, maybe he doesn't want to loose the happy feeling he has now by finding out he is just a normal man. just my 2 cents.
   — k K.

February 9, 2003
I should have also mentioned that depression can occur post-op and could manifest as a reduced sex drive. Sorry I forgot that.
   — Chris P.

February 9, 2003
Have his hormone levels tested. Whacked levels can be VERY serious, besides to the fun part of life. It can set him up for osteoporosis, heart problems--shoot, everything can go south fast. Quick blood test tells the story. I know of 3 men who have low levels, dangerously low who are just now waking up to this being more than an "oddity". 1 is WLS, 2 are not. 2 are under 40. 1 was about 40 when the signs first started showing. Just like when women's estrogen gets out of whack, well, WE know what happens to moods. BUT it also can hurry along osteoporosis & etc, & more etc. Unbalanced hormones are way more dangerous than we ever guessed. We thought it was all about whose heads would roll. But it's very serious. Can usually be corrected with shots.
   — vitalady