Question:
troubling parents

I have a question for any one who has extreamly difficult parent's and they are under the age of 21 and living at home.I'am living at home and have two very very stubborn ass parent whatevere they say goes. Does any one have very very stubborn parent's who wont listen no matter what the consequence is    — marybeth weaver (posted on January 4, 2010)

January 4, 2010
I have been following your posts and your 17 lbs loss is great. But, I see your parents haven't changed their minds. Perhaps you should seek out a medical insurance on your own and if you are 18 yrs old, legally you can make your own decision. By law an adult is 18 yrs old. I guess they can't see the good it would do you to have the surgery, dispite all the information and help we have given you. You might need to take matters into your own hands. But in the meantime, keep up on the weight loss on your own.
   — Kristy

January 4, 2010
do you think your parents would go to a consult with you? perhaps if they heard the risks of being overweight, the benefit of surgery (and hence, weight loss) they may come around a bit? Either way, you've done a fantastic job with the weight loss so far--don't give up:}
   — maryjo68

January 4, 2010
I have a 22 yr old daughter who still lives at home and is still on my insurance. She has been overweight her whole life. Extremely. In April we started looking into weight loss surgery. At first we both wanted lap band, but have changed our mind. My mom is a nurse and although I am 40 she still didnt want me or my daughter to have surgery because she has seen the bad end of things and not to many good from WLS. All I can say is gather as much info as possible. Take them to a group meeting with you. Take them to the doctors with you. Let them meet other people who have been through it. It might not change their mind, but it mind help them to understand things better, and maybe eventually support you with it. Congrats on your 17 lbs already gone. Dawn
   — Hilkerrt

January 4, 2010
I'm curious - here in NY, even though my daughter is 18 and lives with me and on my insurance, her medical records are separate and I can't see them without her permission. What are the laws in your state? Do you need any consent from your parents to have the surgery? If not or if you don't know, give your insurance company a call. This brings up the question, which you need to think about even if you get your own insurance, do you have anyone to rely on to get you to and from surgery and to stay with for a week-ish after surgery if your parents are against it? You really don't need that stress after surgery while you are healing, you need loving support. I applaud your effort to nip this in the bud - I waited until I was 41 and missed out on a lot of things in my life. Nothing is impossible and you are worth the effort. Any siblings to support you?
   — Diane324

January 5, 2010
Everyone's right. Perhaps the most supportive way would be to try to get them to accompany you to an information session or a support group meeting for pre-ops. If that fails, if you're over 18 then you're a free agent, your doctors can't share your personal medical information with your parents, and your parents can do nothing to force them to break the doctor-patient confidentiality rules without your express permission. If you could enlist the help of a trusted friend to get you through this, and make sure you have the blessing of the insurer, I'm not sure your parents could prevent your going forward.
   — mum

January 5, 2010
Marybeth..all the info is great that has been given. I have a question..it is not ment to sound rude..Are both of your parents slim..or do either have/had a weight poblem? At some point you are going to have to make your own mind up as to what YOU are going to do. We can all give you advise..but it is up to you. I wish you all the best of luck..but I think you need more than luck. Maybe time to put on the big girl panties and take a stand...just a thought.
   — tootsie52