Question:
can emotional issues make you gain weight?

my daughter was mentally and physically abused by her father as a child.Now she is 25 and weighs 350 pounds.she has been prescribed very strong diet medication, but nothing seems to work.She keeps eating and gaining weight.Does she need just counseling, just surgery, or both?    — cassyfife320 (posted on September 12, 2009)

September 12, 2009
It is not unusual, at all, for someone who has been abused to gain weight. Think of it. What better form of insulation is there? The fat keeps you from "feeling." Also, you are sub-consciously trying to make yourself less attractive...which means you are much less likely to be abused in the future. And these are only two of the reasons that contribute to the problem. I'm thinking that your daughter will, most likely, need both. I'd start with the counseling. Because without getting into the right frame of mind and dealing with her issues, she's likely going to have a difficult time being successful even after her surgery. There are ways to sabotage yourself post weight loss surgery. You really need to have a healthy mind-set before. Which is why the majority of us all must go through pre-surgery counseling.
   — PaulaJ

September 12, 2009
Just as a cacoon protects a developing butterfly, the fat is protecting your daugther right now from further damage. She need a really, really good therapist who deals with abuse and/or weight issuses. Once there is progress in that area, bypass surgery would be much better for her.
   — Kathleen W.

September 13, 2009
It's not uncommon for people who were abused in any way to turn to food for comfort. I am not a trained professional, however I myself was abused as a child and my highest weight was 427 pounds. I was banded December 2008 and have lost over a hundred pounds. It is a tough road, but personally for me counseling is what helped me. It took me years and many different therapists before I felt comfortable enough to fully open up. However you cannot force into counseling if she is not ready for it. I wish you luck & my thoughts go out to you & your daughter.
   — Krisican2

September 14, 2009
Linda, I think for a large number of women food is their drug of choice -- Lord knows it was mine for about thirty years. Your daughter is using food to stuff down her feelings in the same way that an alcoholic drinks or a drug addict snorts meth. She is also putting up a literal physical wall around herself with her weight -- hiding in plain sight, if you will. If she's on strong meds and still gaining weight, are you sure she's taking them as prescribed -- or taking them at all? From what I've read, the "new generation" of diet pills (as opposed to the old days, where they'd just give you amphetimines and you didn't eat -- or sleep, or form a coherent thought -- for weeks at a time)can cause a number of nasty gastrointestinal side effects, so your daughter might not be taking them. I'm not sure at this point that surgery is the answer, either, because she hasn't dealt with the stuff that is driving her eating behaviour. Although I wasn't physically or mentally abused as a child, I did have my own matched set of luggage to deal with, and it wasn't until I could deal with that that I could look at surgery as a solution. I would suggest counselling for now, and maybe surgery for later -- but most of all all the emotional support and care you can give her on this journey. Good luck to you both. Blessings
   — Cheryl Denomy

September 17, 2009
You will find that are 25 she will need to be ready to make a change on her own. You cna't do it for her. Counseling is the first step. Then she may need surgery as well but once she comes to terms with her pain she may be able to shed the pounds. Best of luck.
   — trible