Question:
I'm scared to have the surgery...can you give me some positive advice?

I had to cancel my surgery because of my diabetes being high and another medical issue which has since been resolved. I am planning on have the surgery in January and keep getting scared so I want to cancel. I know that my life will improve, but the risks scare me. I have a brain damaged child and if anything happens to me he won't have the care. Do you have any positive reinforcement to get me through this.    — Randi (posted on December 8, 2005)

December 8, 2005
Oh Randi - you are doing the right thing. This is a positive change that will affect your life. You will be around a whole longer for your child than if you don't do this surgery. I did it 8 weeks ago and have lost over 45lbs and am feeling great. I had diabetes - my blood sugars have been totally normal the last 8 weeks and I am off all diabetic drugs. This is a life changing surgery. One thing - you have to be in the right mindset. You have to come to terms with this surgery being a life altering experience. You will be scared -and that is ok. You have to know that once you have this surgery and you are losing the weight - you will be feeling so much better and able to do so much more than you used to. Good luck! you will make it through - keep posting and let everyone on OH know how you are doing.. Regards, Anne
   — akirsch

December 8, 2005
Hi Randi: I too was really scared to go through with the surgery, especially having myriad health problems at 364 pounds. I researched my surgeon completely, spoke with others who had the same surgeon, and took three years to make my decision. All along, my Doctor told me I was an EXTREMELY HIGH RISK. That was not very reassuring, but I followed pre-op directions with regard to not eating red meat (increases liver size, thereby increasing chances of an open versus lap procedure) and losing a bit of weight before the operation. My Doctor actually cancelled my operation the day before I was scheduled, due to a heart abnormaility. I finally had the surgery two months later in July 2005. I followed the Doctor's recommendation of walking frequently after the surgery, because blood clots/pulmonary embolisms are a huge concern after surgery. I led a very sedentary lifestyle, so it was quite a challenge! However, I was scared straight, and followed protocol exactly. I take vitamins, keep a food journal, get my protein in, exercise and drink water. Four months later, I am down 100 pounds. I am off most of the medication I was taking for assorted co-morbidites, and consider this the best decision I every made for myself. Having said that, your concerns are very real, and you cannot do this until you are 100% ready. Also, the healing time is slow, and much positive thinking is required. I joined a support group, which kept me focused on the positive. It really helps! Please feel free to write if I can answer any questions or help quell your fears. Anything worth having has risks, big or small, but in this case, my gambling paid off. I wish you the same success and all the very best. Hat's off you for your love and dedication to your son. I work with special-needs children, and greatly admire parents like you! Fond regards, Pam
   — pjwilsen

December 8, 2005
Hi Randi- I applaud you for the care you have to give your child and how this could effect your life. But you have to think positive! Weight loss surgery is going to change your life for the positive and you will be able physically and mentally to care for your child so much better. I too, was so scared. At the time of my surgery, my twins were 2 1/2 years old.. my parents wanted me to wait until they were 5 or 6 to have the surgery.. yes, in case I would have died and they would have to help raise the boys, at least they would be a little older and more managable for my parents who are in their 70's. I educated them until I was blue in the face. My surgery took 1 hour due to serious scar tissue from my emergency c-section, I had no complications during surgery, I was released from the hospital the following day and in the park on that same week(thursday and friday) playing kickball with my twins and my husband. Having the MGB was by far the best thing I have ever done for myself and my family. I am here to tell you that I am active in life now instead of wathing life pass me by! My surgery was so much easier than my c-section or my hysterectomy. Research... research, research and pray.. you are doing what is best for and your child. Since my surgery in October of 2003 I have lost approx. 125-130lbs and have maintained that weight for about 9 months now. I pray that you find the answers to get you thru this and if you would like to talk more, please feel free to e-mail me at [email protected] DS
   — ds

December 8, 2005
Bless your heart... I can understand that you are so afraid. However, if you had a life-threatening condition such as a heart problem you would not even question the need for "emergency" surgery if your doctor said that you needed it. I realize that this is called "elective" surgery, but in reality it is an "emergency". At least it was for me... At 285 lbs. with high blood pressure, arthritis, and chronic fatigue, I was not functioning anywhere near my potential for my age. In another ten years I was not going to be able to walk because of pain in my knees and feet. I had surgery September 29, 2004 and I've lost 120 lbs. in this year. I feel like a NEW woman!! I cannot tell you how much better I feel and how much more I can do now that I could not do before!!! There is a risk with this surgery, but there is also a TREMENDOUS risk of continuing on the way you are now. Only you can decide which risk you are willing to live with, but my advice is to go with the surgery. Best wishes. Keep everyone posted and let us know how you are. Pamela
   — Piggybabe

December 8, 2005
Randi, You said if anything happens to you, he won't have the care. But what if you have a stroke, then someone would have to care for both of you. Having the WLS is the best thing you can do for you and for your child. Although your child maybe brain damaged, they will still be able to feel the love you have for them. Think of the money you will save not having to buy diabetic medication any more. In February of this year, I officiated a wedding and met this woman who had probably weighed quite a bit. She told me she had the surgery and was no longer on insulin or high blood pressure medicine and she could walk a little on her own without having the wheelchair close by. Think of all the positives -- there are so many --don't cancel -- that is what FEAR want's you to do. Shove that fear out of your life and step out on FAITH and move into the plan God has for you. Just think, you'll no longer have to worry about your health and can concentrate on the care your son needs. Have no fear -- the Universe is with you and so are your friend here at O. Peace, NaDine
   — the7thdean