Question:
has anyone had second thoughts before their surgery date?
i am 3 weeks preop and feeling so down and unsure. i need this op badly and dont want to be fat anymore and with all that goes with it. i have told a few people that i am having surgery and most have been supportive, but i am so sick of people saying to me " you will have a whole new life" it makes me feel that i must have such a pathetic existance right now. i know things wil be different , but right now i am scared and could run away. i also hate the feeling that people will be watching for every pound to come off. have other pre ops had doubts?? sorry to moan. — JULIE B. (posted on April 28, 2003)
April 28, 2003
Yanno... It used to bother me too when people would say things like
"you'll have a new life" or "your life will change
forever." It made it seem like I was entering the witness protection
program. The "ME" I know wouldn't be me anymore? Well, I'm still
me. But, I can do things now that I couldn't do before. Like, I worked
outside for 4 hours yesterday. I barely broke a sweat! I couldn't even walk
down the driveway and back last summer without needing an inhaler, and a
tall glass of water. So... life changes, but for the better. Some things
NEVER change. The bills still need paid, the kids still whine, the husband
can't do laundry... those kinds of things. You will be fine. You will have
a rough few weeks, and then you'll find yourself down a few pounds with
tons of energy you didn't think possible. Do this for yourself. You may
regret it initially, but it won't last. As for people watching for weight
loss... SCREW THEM! Don't let the bastards get you down, as my dear ol' dad
would say. (sorry for the language, I am a self proclaimed potty mouth) ;)
You are gonna be FINE! REALLY!
— Diana L.
April 28, 2003
Hey thats hiow I felt pre op along with a feeling of dread that I would die
on the table. That was nearly 2 years ago. I sure am glad I had surgery. If
I could of had just a peek of my posat op life I would of jumped on that OR
table.
— bob-haller
April 28, 2003
YES! You are normal. We all have the same fears and doubts. You will
question everything about this decision a million time, but keep in mind
why you made the decision in the first place. Creat a pro and con list and
when you have these doubts, you can refer to your list. It will keep you on
track. Congrats on your upcoming surgery, you'll be just fine ;) Best of
luck to you..aims
— chickiewickie
April 28, 2003
Julie~~Put your seatbelt on and prepare for an unbelievable ride. I know
you cant even fathom how much your life is about to change for the better
but it will!!!!!!!!!! I never knew how limited I was until the first 50
pounds came off. All of a sudden I didn't have to worry about chairs with
arms or bending over to tie my shoes without my head exploding. You are
just having normal pre op jitters. Think of it this way morbid obesity is
a fatal disease and you are having surgery to save your life!!!! Nothing
worth having is ever easy. Good luck to you as you journey toward your
re-birthday. Wendi Open RNY 9/19/02 down 117lbs P.S. I kept my surgery
pretty much a secret so it saved me from being (watched) as you put it.
— lovemonterey
April 28, 2003
How about this one..."you'll be happy" huh? I'm not happy now?!
"your life will completely change" Really? Oh tell me, Great
Swami, in exactly which way, and I want details...yeah yeah everyone just
likes to hear themselves talk. Yadda yadda yadda. And then they'll say,
"I told you, you're sooo much happier now." As Diane L said,
SCREW 'EM...do it for you. Forget what everyone else says, they don't even
remember what they said! As for jitters, you'll be fine! Just smile and
be proud of yourself! Good luck!
— msmaryk
April 28, 2003
Yes, I think about 2 weeks before surgery I was freaking out and wondering
what the hell was I about to do to myself? Then I thought, "Great,
I've told everyone I am going to have this surgery. I am going to look like
an ass if I don't go through with it!" I know that may sound weird but
that's how I felt. The day of surgery I was not stressed AT ALL. I was
ready to get it over with and start a new life. A life without looking for
the next new diet that may work for me this time....right!!! We know better
don't we. I am almost 1 year post-op and loving it! It is awekward
sometimes the way family and friends stare and go on about how wonderful I
look. It's like "wow, I must have looked REALLY bad before". Oh
well, I do look good and I feel great. You are not alone! Best Wishes!
— Michelle H.
April 28, 2003
Hi! Boy, do I know how you feel! I'm having surgery in 3 weeks too and I
know exactly how you feel! I'm scared, too! I just keep thinking about all
the people I've read about on this sight and not once have I come accrossed
anyone who said they wish they hadn't done it. So I'm gonna do it no matter
what! I hope you do what you feel is right for you! The best of luck to you
and I'll say a prayer for you!
— Lynda M.
April 28, 2003
Hi Julie!!
I think God must have guided me to the computer tonight to check the
postings because I JUST found out I've been approved and after the initial
excitement, a bit of anxiety hit hard for about an hour or so. I'm calming
down but I just felt I had to reply to your post to let you know I'm sure
this is all normal how you're feeling, how I'm feeling, etc.. everyone that
posted a reply here has great input and especially the one who posted a
reply about how after even the first fifty pounds gone..your life opens up.
Just thinking about that and dreaming about what all that could entail
actually made me cry.
The idea of having freedom from the prisons of our fat bodies is almost
unimaginable but a beautiful thought to think and dream about. You'll be
fine! Good Luck!
— kathleen-Joan piper
April 28, 2003
Man I tell ya I have been waiting for my consult for 2 months and have
almost 2 months to go, and I already feel that way....LOL I don't even have
a clue when surgery will be yet!
— Saxbyd
April 28, 2003
I am exactly two weeks pre-op and went through the majority of my anxiety
about two weeks ago. I've known about my surgery date for a while now, and
have gone through the biggest roller coaster you can possibly imagine
emotionally. I worried about my kids, what if something happens to me?? I
worried about friendships, love relationships, etc... would all my friends
and loved ones always love me no matter what? Ridiculous I know but I
think we all feel it. I don't know if I'm gonna miss food or not. I think
I will but the initial excitement of losing weight fast will overcome any
desire for food. I just want it to be DONE AND OVER! I am at peace with
it all now and just waiting and enjoying the ride. Two weeks ago I could
not say that. God bless you... you ARE NORMAL!
— Happy I.
April 28, 2003
My surgery is exactly 2 weeks from today (5/12) and I am just now feeling
any signs of fear. I've been too excited to be nervous, packing my hospital
bag, making arrangements for my 5 year old son, making arrangements at work
(I have a very critical job) and just getting my ducks in a row. Now - - -
I have everything done and nothing but time. I'm feeling a little stressed.
I'm a Christian and don't worry about my eternal life - - - but I'm a mom
and don't my son to grow up without me.... I'll definitely keep all of you
that are pre-op'ers with me in my prayers!!
— Melissa B.
April 28, 2003
I have times when I am excited about the possability of having a
"normal" life again and then I think, what if something should
happen. I am a Christian but I am still concerned about my afterlife. Have
I been "good enough" to go to Heaven if something does happen? I
know thats crazy thinking but its many years of "spiritual
abuse". It was'nt intentional, but it happened non the less. The other
side of that, is that this obesity is killing me anyway and at least, I
will have tried to do something about it before it gets the chance to kill
me. I want to be around for my children. They are both grown, but neither
one of them has ever been married so I don't have grandchildren yet. I
would like to be here long enough to see them get married and have children
of their own.
— peanutpatty
April 28, 2003
Hi Julie. LOL. I was exactly the same as you! hahaha. Just take a deep
breath and relax. The day of surgery, I was calm as a cucumber and knew
that this surgery was what I wanted to do 100%. People don't know what to
say sometimes and what they do eep out is all wrong. I'm still sensitive
after almost 8 1/2 mos postop about other's comments. Now, they are saying
"well, it's not easy anymore, is it?" and "well, you'll just
have to try harder" when I say that my loss has really slowed down.
Those things make me feel so inadequate. I have to do a lot of
"self-talk" and keep myself sane. I read on this website everyday
just about still. I almost backed out too and now am glad that I didn't. My
biggest fears were that I'd be stuck living in a fashion that I couldn't
handle. But it's not like that. I eat everything, just not as much of it. I
have control now. It's great! Chin up! Big Hugs! Melisa lap RNY 08/15/02
-90 lbs
— mbradley35
April 28, 2003
My surgery is 5/8 less than two weeks away now and I when I get nervous I
tell myself that I have researched this fully and have the best surgeon
possible so I will be fine. I have 2 and 5 year old boys and I want to run
and play with them not just watch!
— natjemison
April 28, 2003
Julie...I think what you're looking for is confirmation that you're normal.
Well...YOU'RE NORMAL! This is major (ELECTIVE) surgery. I am almost 2
weeks post-op (4/16) and believe me, I was nervous off/on for 2 wks pre-op.
The night before surgery I was a basket case.
As for what others think, many are just plain insensitive and nosey. But
please remember that those who really do care about you are going through a
different way of looking at you also, not a different way of loving you
though. People just don't know what to say and they do say things that are
stupid but mean them supportively.
My personal favorite is the woman who told me "you're going to come
back so much thinner". Sheesh...I was off work less than 2 weeks,
what did she think I was having done, liposuction?
Just as there are different perspectives, there are different kinds of
happiness, well-being and so on. Your life is about to
change...drastically. Set minor goals along the way for yourself and
celebrate YOU.
Best wishes!
— Diane S.
April 29, 2003
In response to the fear of not being good enough to get to heaven. It is
not whether you are good enough but instead your faith in Jesus Christ and
the resurrection and that's what will get you to heaven. Keep your eyes
and your faith on Jesus. Faith, Hope and Love. Rhonda
— annasgranma
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