Question:
Anyone else out there feeling like they're just hanging in limbo??

I started the process to have WLS a year ago and was supposed to have had RNY in July. Instead, my surgeon decided that I was not ready to have the surgery and wanted me to wait. He was concerned over issues of binge-eating that I had discussed with the nutritionist. I see a therapist weekly and she didn't think I was ready either. I just feel like it's never going to happen and I'm getting so discouraged. I feel so alone b/c it seems like everyone else is getting their surgeries and losing weight, and I'm just stuck! I have checked to see about having surgery with a diff't surgeon but in both of the other major hospitals in my city, the bariatric surgeons are no longer taking new patients with my kind of insurance. My only choice is to stick with my original surgeon and hope I can prove to him I am ready for surgery. Anyone else out there been through a similar situation?? What did you do to convince your surgeon you were ready?? I know I can't be the only one denied surgery (temporarily I hope), but it sometimes feels that way and I would love to be able to talk to others who have experienced this.    — Clumsybarbie (posted on November 24, 2009)

November 23, 2009
I'm pretty sure of the other answers you will get will be similar to mine. If you have not conquered the binge eating and have your head in the right place then this surgery will be nothing more then surgery! WLS is not magic and if you continue to binge it will harm you in the long run and defeat your WLS. It could also harm you physically so slow down, get your eating under control and keep in touch with the doctor. Good Luck! Keep trying!
   — kmom1420

November 23, 2009
I do sympathize with you; it took about a year and a half for me to finally be cleared for surgery -- and the wait was torture. It might help if you look for bariatric support group meetings that may help speed your learning to be ready for surgery sooner, as well as show your therapist and doctor that you mean business about finding solutions to your binge eating disorder. Twelve-step programs are good, and other general spiritual pursuits. Pray to be open to Guidance to whatever you should do next. God bless! And again I do symphathize immensely.
   — Janell C.

November 24, 2009
Hi Teri, I do agree with the other posts...I'm so sorry for your having to be put off for sooo long. Do try to get into YOUR Bariatric surgeons support group meetings.I would ask the DR & therapist WHAT it is you need to accomplish in order to have to surg done. But you must realize the surg is only your tool...it is not a quick fix. Possible the Dr & therapist are waiting for you to totally understand this and acknowledge it to them. WE all had some sort of issues..and once we are able to deal with the changes we MUST make for LIFE we all do fine. Please do not give up...I will keep you in my prayers and feel free to email me anytime...
   — tootsie52

November 24, 2009
Binge eating........hmmmm, I think we all have this or we wouldn't need wls. But you have to be in the mind set that binge eating is a thing of the past. You need to sever your ties with food before surgery, not after or mid. Before. Otherwise, like the other post said it will then just be a surgery. And binge eating will continue and that is when triggers of emotional failure set in; causing more binge eating. This is only a tool and we need to learn how to use it, like learning how to walk. Baby steps. I don't know to convince your doctor you are ready. I guess just pour your heart and soul out to him and if he doesn't listen then he might be in the wrong field. Read my profile. I stuggled with food for 10 yrs. But I got to the point I couldn't let food control me. That food demon is no longer allowed in my house. I don't know how many people that aren't binge eating that have had the surgery. (I am sure not all, but let's face it, portion control is an issue too). Ask your doctor why and what is it going to take for YOU to tell him you are ready. But you have to be ready in your head and heart. Do a lot of soul searching for reasons of why you binge. There will be a lot of tears and it will get emotional. You can do this by yourself, in a quiet room. Write down how you feel when you eat, look back at it the next day, and break the pattern of what you read. Once you can find the reasoning behind your eating, tell your doctor. Then maybe he will see that you have healed inside and are ready for the surgery. Best wishes to you. If I can help you in any way, please feel free to email me. I am almost 5 yrs post op and I have been in your shoes. Don't hesitate to email me. You do need support right now and this is the place to get it. :-)
   — Kristy

November 24, 2009
I agree with all the other previous posters. I think you have already taken the first step to conquer the "food lion" that roars within all of us over eaters. Keep working on your Doc. Don't walk away with your head hung down. Let him know you mean business and keep after him. Meanwhile go to support groups and keep working at this. Try losing some weight on your own and let your doc know you are doing this to prove it to him. Good luck and never give up. It's all worth it!
   — katiecakes

November 24, 2009
I had to wait 6 years for financing. In the meantime, head work was done. After 18 months, I ditched my therapist who was doing me no good. (Some do help, but mine wasn't one of those.) The book that changed my life was one my pastor recommended, Edward Welch's Addictions: A Banquet in the Grave and the Hope of the Gospels. If you are a binge eater, you have an addiction. There is help available, but the first step is to admit that this is a real problem. Most, if not all, of us who are/were obese, had a food addiction. For me, it continues to be the biggest fight of this journey. I don't fight it alone: I have knowlege and tools, people to hold me accountable, people praying for me, and support groups. Without all of that, I won't make it. Listen to your surgeon. S/he knows what it takes to succeed. The surgeon is trying to save you further grief (as well as unnecessary pain and expense) if you proceed without being ready.
   — jtoothman

November 25, 2009
it is hard I know it took me over a year to get cleared and I thought I would just give up several times. it is hard to make it to surgery. While it seems everyone is getting it they have all gone through a long process to get to the point they are ready to change. With out this acceptance of change the life after surgery can be very hard. It is a major adjustment and the frustration will all be worth it if you can get things seetled with your eating issues. Try to focus on being healthy and not on getting the surgery.
   — trible