Question:
Am I stupid for feeling like this.....

I have not had a well woman exam since the birth of my twins--six yrs ago, and know I'm experiencing pain and irregular cycles--but I'm too embarrassed by my weight to go in and get checked out. Could I please get some input to this question are there any others who have felt like this before and if so how did you overcome this fear.    — mischief85 (posted on May 31, 2002)

May 31, 2002
I can't tell you how to overcome it, but I can beg you to PLEASE go and have it done. I know it's embarassing, and sometimes downright "violating", but like my Dr said a- that's his job (to do the exams... not to make it uncomfortable, that's just natural) b- them "issues" can be serious and sometimes down right life threatening if you let them go. Find a Dr you're comfotable with, know in your own mind whether you want a man or a woman, a family Dr who might do obstatrics, or just a regular OB/GYN... and know that you'd rather feel that violation that once, than to know you could have done it sooner and prevented a radical hysterectomy or something of the sort :( Good luck to you..
   — Elizabeth D.

May 31, 2002
Stephanie, if you have a primary care physician you are comfortable with, maybe he/she could do your gyn exam. My PCP does my pap, breast exam, etc. The ob/gyn I used to go to before and during my pregnancy (10 years ago) suddenly decided that my weight was an issue. I had been the same weight all along, except the little I gained with pregnancy, but once he heard that my husband had been 'fixed' and we would not be having any more children, he was not very sympathetic. I know his job is to keep me well, but we had discussed my weight before I got pregnant, and he said as long as I was 'healthy', etc., it wasn't a problem! Then I went to a female gyn, and her FIRST words were "How long have you been obese?". My PCP has been doing just about everything since. He is great, and probably knows me as well as anyone. If you don't have a PCP you are comfortable with, ask around. Maybe family or friends can suggest someone, Or, if you have a doctor in mind, call the office and ask his office staff about his/her bedside manner. My mother recently called a large group of doctors for my dad, and asked for the nicest one for senior citizens. The appt. secretary immediately suggested one in particular, and my dad loved him. Good luck, Ginger.
   — Ginger N.

May 31, 2002
Do your homework first and be well prepared with a list of questions to ask your prospective doctor. This may ease some of your fear. Also, if you are more comfortable with a woman, rather than a man gynecologist, ask for what you want. It may well be that your weight is causing your irregular periods. You may have Polycystic Ovarian Disease, which is causing your weight gain, irregular periods, etc. Read up on PCOS and you will be amazed at how many overweight women suffer from this malady caused by insulin resistance. I had irregular periods for 30 years, sometimes going years or months without a period. I also experienced some heavy clotting and had several periods in one month, when I was about 28 years old. I thought I would never be able to have a child but I was lucky and had one son, who is now 18. Oddly enough when I started a low-carb diet [Carb Addict's Diet] at age 40 and stuck to it for about seven months, my irregular periods started to get more and more regular. Now at 45 they are like clockwork. I am one month pre-op and must admit, that due to my reaching my highest weight of 355 last summer, I have been too embarrassed to have a pap smear or mammogram. I have now made a commitment to have these exams once I have surgery. I am aiming for a healthier life and plan on treating my body with respect and love. We deserve to have peace of mind and a sound body. We want to be around for those we love.
   — C. C.

August 6, 2002
What a great question!!!!!! I too was in the same boat as you. The blessing came when the Dr's appointment I was fearing turned into a chat about wls. He was so kind and now he is my advocate not my dreaded enemy.
   — Char G.