Question:
Does anyone else have a problem seeing yourself at your new weight?
I am having a problem with realizing that I am now 113 lbs lighter than I used to be. I look in the mirror and still see myself as a 326 lbs woman instead of one who now weighs 210. How do you ever overcome this obstacle or do you ever overcome it. I still have another 50 lbs to lose to get to my goal weight of 160 and would like to see myself as a thinner person. — sunsetyellow (posted on November 13, 2008)
November 13, 2008
I am just like you. Had surgery done March 2008. Weighed 330 ... now I am
down to 196. I can tell in some ways that I am smaller ... but in general
... I feel like the same person. I don't feel much different. But I must
look very different. Last Saturday I went to a local salon to get my hair
fixed and as I walked in I saw another parent that I know ... smiled and
waved hello ... she smiled back. About 15 minutes later as I was talked to
the hair dresser that mom came up to me and said, "OMG Tammy I did not
recognize you!!!!! ... I sat over there and thought, Who is that? I know
her, then you started talking about your son and football and know it was
YOU!" I was shocked ... wow, I must look very different! For someone
to not even recognize me ... wow!!! :O I am not sure how we catch our
minds/body image up with how are bodies "really" are now. I have
the same issues! Tammy from TX
— Tammy Cardwell
November 13, 2008
I hear ya, i have only lost 62 pounds but look in the mirror and can't see
that much difference, and others are calling me skinny, bones etc... i get
kinda angry and think cuz it is family and friends that they are just
trying to be nice, saying HEY, they notice it. I too have about another 50
pounds to go and hopes I can SEE it someday soon. Good Luck
— [Deactivated Member]
November 13, 2008
Debbie,
Like everything else in life; it takes some time to get used to a new you.
You will. And when you reach your goal weight you will feel very
accomplished and proud. Look for support groups and friends; they do help
you through the good and bad times.
Vinnigirl
— vinnigirl
November 13, 2008
I have the same issue. However, after speaking to a friend that had
surgery in 2001 it make sense. Becuase our wieght comes off so quickly we
don't have the time to get used to the idea. She stated that even after
she reached her goal and had the plastic surgery to remove the skin it
still took her about 6 months to look in the mirrow and see skinny. She
felt healthier then ever and just over all felt great, but didn't see
skinny for about 6 months after everything was done.
— phyllismmay
November 13, 2008
It takes a while for your brain to catch up. That filter in your head that
controls how to register your appearance has seen an obese woman for a long
time. Try taking a photo of yourself now and putting it side by side with
an old photo of yourself. That helps. Another exercise you can do is to
get a roll of wrapping paper and put it white side up on the floor
unrolled. Then have someone trace your body. It's amazing how much
smaller you will be than what you think. I've lost 102 pounds and gone
from a size 26 to a size 6 and still don't see it sometimes. Hang in
there, your eyes will catch up and congratulations on the progress you've
made.
— Shirley D.
November 13, 2008
girl ..lol.. i look in the windows when i go by stores..lol.. and stop
.lol.. to see that it is really me ...brenda in tx ..best wishes to all
— brenda F.
November 13, 2008
First, congratulations on your weight loss. I am down 158 lbs and I still
have trouble remembering what I look like. I still remember me as a 350 lb
woman. Something that has helped me, I take current pictures of myself,
and keep one on the fridge, beside a before picture. This way I can see
the progress I have made and tt also helps me remember what I currently
look like. Good luck. Remember it all takes time.
— mary_rn
November 13, 2008
I know how you feel! After losing 222 pounds I still don't recognize myself
when I look in the mirror but when I do realize it's me I say alright!!!!
People pay me compliments and that's hard to get used to and even my dad
tells me not to lose anymore weight (used to tell me to lose weight). I
even was sort of an inspiration to three other people who went on and had
the same surgery I did and are doing great also so while my life has
changed I feel better about myself and my health has improved so much that
being thinner is ok with me but the main thing is I'm healthier now and
that's what counts to me. I don't know if you ever get over the
insecurities that we have but if you feel better about yourself then that's
one less obstacle you have to overcome. Sometimes when somebody pays me a
compliment I feel like saying you're not talking to me but then I do take a
look in the mrror and wow I do look better and that fat person I was is
still me just a thinner and healthier person. You're still you but you just
look a whole lot better and when you like yourself doesn't matter what
anybody else thinks cause you're the one that changed your life and that's
the truth.
— TrevaDeck150
November 13, 2008
CONGRATS on the wt loss!! Like everyone has posted...it just takes time. I
was 433 pre-op and now 257 8.5 months later. It did help me to ditch as
many of my old clothes and wear ones that fit me so it helped me realize my
size. With the surgery you will never be the "old" you, just
celebrate the "new" you inside and out!!!!
— AuntPamcakes4six
November 13, 2008
Oh my gosh yes!!!!!!! I am sometimes walking into a store and see my
reflection and am taken aback because I do not recognize the person I'm
seeing...because when I look in the mirror I still see the same fat
person...I think it is a brain thing!!!!!
— bridgetann1961
November 13, 2008
Debbie -- welcome to the wonderful world of post-WLS! Although it's been
more than eight years since my surgery, and my weight has more or less
stabilized, I can STILL have issues about what I look like. I remember the
first time I tried on a winter skirt a few months after my surgery -- I put
it on and it literally fell right off, and I was CONVINCED that it would be
as sausage-tight as it had been the last time I had worn it. If left to my
own devices I will still try on clothes anywhere from two to four sizes too
large, because I still don't have a RETAINED clear vision of what my body
looks like. But then again, I've had issues around "body
dysmorphia" for most of my adult life. When I weighed close to 350
pounds you couldn't have convinced me I looked anywhere near as large as I
did (and it was pretty darn large, let me tell you) until I came up against
something like a turnstile or a molded plastic chair. It took me a very
long time to realize that I looked quite different, and that I still look
quite different. Don't punish yourself -- just delight in the small
victories, and know that you HAVE to have changed. You do become
accustomed to it, over time -- even in you don't ever TOTALLY get over it.
Congratulations on your weight loss and keep up the good work!
— Cheryl Denomy
November 14, 2008
I'm going on my 5th year of weighing 165 lbs (from 315lbs) and I still have
a warped body image of myself. Sometimes I feel so thin and then I see
myself in the mirror and still think I look fat. For a long time I felt
MO...but have graduated to now only feeling "fat" or
"chunky"...rather than obese. My husband gets so irritated with
my "Do I look fat today" comments that he took a buncha photos of
me to prove I was no longer in any "fat" catagory...I see photos
of myself and I think "Am I that thin, really?" I blame it on
the camera for getting lucky...Then once in a while I get an unflattering
photo and I convince myself that I am still fat again...Drives hubby nutso!
I'm getting better at my self image though...I think it really takes a lot
of time, if you ever really recover from it. I do try to remind myself
daily that I love and am loved and I am blessed and good and that is what
life is all about...My weight has NOTHING to do with those things that
matter to me...especially now that the proof is in my health! I am
healthy! That makes me quite happy!
— .Anita R.
November 14, 2008
At a recent support group meeting, a therapist talked about ways to improve
success. I think it would apply in this situation to. He said this exercise
was a way to train your mind/brain to embrace/acknowledge/support your
weight loss effort. Every evening as you lie in bed, right before you
drift off to sleep, make this your last thought/image. See yourself looking
into a mirror. Your slim self. Night after night as you do this
visulaization add more detail--outfits, make up, new hairdo. Each night as
you visualize yourself in the mirror right before you fall asleep, step
into the mirror and become that reflection that you are seeing. According
to the therapist ,he uses this exercise for all types of
problems/situations with great success. It is a type of brain retraining.
It certainly could not hurt to try it. I hope this helps.
— txsewrn
November 14, 2008
how long has it been since your surgery? you may want to consider some
counseling to see if it may help. i have lost 94 lbs and love my new body,
execpt for wanting a tummy tuck and some new perky boobs, haha! i do not
have a hard time seeing the new me, but it's hard for me to realize i was
ever 262lbs. when i look back at pictures of the "fat me" it
really makes me proud of the way i look now and my success through wt loss
surgery. i have a hard time dealing with people saying how much
"better" i look now.... i know it should make me happy, but i
kinda get a different feeling, it's like "damn, was i really that ugly
before?" i find that it also depends on who the person is making the
comment and the way they say it. what it all boils down to is...everyone
has their own issues before, during, and after wt loss surgery and no
matter what the issue is, you need to have a wonderful support person/group
you can discuss these issues with as they arrive. good luck and congrats
on your wt loss...Holly
— RNlvnCARSON
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