Question:
Could I be grieving food even before I have surgery?

I am scheduled for surgery on Sept. 3rd. I have been trying to cut back and eliminate some foods. I have sworn off carbonated drinks. I am weaning off caffeine, down to one cup in the morning. I am an emotional wreck! I cry at the drop of a hat. I feel like my live-in boyfriend doesn't understand these mood swings. By the way, I take a mood stablizer and an anti-depressant already! Anybody feel this way pre-surgery?    — Melissa_B. (posted on July 24, 2008)


July 23, 2008
Absolutely! Choosing a healthy path may be the best thing for you but it sucks.
   — Lauren003

July 23, 2008
Cutting back on the "bad food items" prior to surgery makes the post op process so much easeir. If you give up these foods prior to surgery, it will help with pre surgery wt loss, and make the adjustment to post op eating that much easeir. I adjusted to decaf coffee for the pre op and first 5 months post op. I gave up sodas, and sugary foods. You need to lose wt prior to surgery to help the surgeon do a LAP procedure. Losing wt just prior to surgery helps reduce fatty liver deposits, making the LAP procedure much easier for the surgeon. I suggest you also attend support groups--you'll learn information from the instructor and other post ops, and you'll feel much better prepared for the first few weeks post op, when most patients tend to feel more anxious. I was nervous just prior to surgery--it was my first major surgery under general anesthetic. But I had done my research and was happy with my chosen surgeon. He's done over 9000 Lap RNY's with only one loss of patient. DAVE
   — Dave Chambers

July 24, 2008
Sure you can grieve before surgery. You have made the decision to change your life. You will be sad for the changes but happy at the same time. I love pasta! I would get nervous at the thought of never having it again. I know now that I may be able to have some of it in the future but for now, it isn't the thing for me. Loosing the weight means so much more to me than ha plate of linguini with Alfredo sauce. I had my lapband inserted on the 19th of May and have lost about 20 lbs since then. I am happy about the decision I've made and I am certain you will be too. Keep your goal in mind and you won't miss the comfort foods and drinks so much. Best of luck and good health to you sister!
   — mannecote

July 24, 2008
What you are experiencing is very normal. You feel like you are about to lose your best friend- food. A lot of people feel this way both pre and post surgery. I recommend this book I just finished for the second time..."The Emotional First Aid Toolkit" a guide for life after bariatric surgery by Cynthia Alexander talks alot about depression with WLS both pre and post op. Good luck, Dawn Vickers, RN, BLC, CLC
   — DawnVic

July 24, 2008
You didn't say which surgery you are having but trying to cut back on certain things before surgery is good......The onlt thing I was told to never do againg was carbonation and I haven't touched it....if you are having RNY then sugar will be a problem.......but you should be able to eat most of what you ate in the past....you just need to make better choices and you'll be eating smaller portions.....It's normal to grieve the food loss....after all food has been your best friend for a long time.....one important fact that I think you need to know is the surgery is being done on your stomach ....not your head and all the food issues you had before surgery will still be there after surgery.....so you will have to find another out let for deprssion eating....emotional eating......they need to be worked on all thru this process...Good Luck. Pam / Ft Worth.....Bandster Bites [email protected]
   — pphillips4720aol.com

July 24, 2008
OMIGOSH...yes! It's very normal. I was so sad to give up food...I tried eating all healthy stuff, gave up all my favorites, like bread and pasta and rice...POTATOES! AHHH! I wondered how on earth I would ever do it...Was never much a sweet eater...but I loved my white carbs...So fast forward 4 1/2 years...I eat those thing in tiny moderation about once or twice a week, I might have a tiny 1/4 cup of rice or pasta...(but I have a hard time eating it because it just won't go down...Eating pasta is like trying to swallow a hose...EVEN 4 1/2 yeaar later! I don't miss these things anymore because i allow a taste now and then of whatever I want. I tend to be quite emotional over food...so rather than totally deprive myself...I will take a sample and I have trained myself to be quite content eating a small taste of naughty food rather than a full or oversized portion. It's a deal I made with my self...This way I won't cheat myself, lie to myself, begin old habits...and if by chance I do eat too much junk food...I make an effort to work out the next day and start each day new with good intentions. I think a good healthy mental view of things makes having an eating disorder easier to maintain long term. You have to decide to change...You have to be totally honest with yourself...YOU know if you are strong enough to allow a taste or if you must totally give up something because you know you cannot stop once you start...It's a personal choice I think...But you decide what kind of person you are. I am one that can eat one potato chip and not touch another. If you are not...don't buy a bag. Get your crunch somewhere else...soy crisps...pork rinds... veggies...Whatever...So...some foods you need substitutions for...and some foods you can learn to enjoy just a taste now and then. I can't buy bread...Bread is a trigger food for me...I smell bread and it's all over for me! I gotta run away from the smell...But put ice cream and potatoe chips and french fries or chocolate or candy in front of me...and I'll go get a yogurt and be quite content...Get rid of the really bad foods that you can't say no to and find a healthier version...So...yes...fod separation issues are real...and it's so hard....but dealing with it now is a good way to learn what you have to live with...But...It does get easier...and the restriction of rny makes it 100% easier...By the end of a year...you learn to eat right and then you are on your way to a normal, healthy sized person...I'm still slightly overweight by BMI...I lost 150 lbs and I feel wonderful...I wear a size 8 and maintain my weight...I'm not one that allows myself to be rated by a number on the scale or a BMI chart...I like how I feel and look and this is where I want to stay...Me and my pouch have our struggles with food...Like any other addiction...but RNY is the tool that keeps me in line,and being totally grateful for this healtier thinner version makes me strong enough to keep trying...If you allow yourself one guilt free favorite every few days...you will have something to look forward to...When i want something sweet...I buy a chocolately covered protein bar! WLS candy! I eat that for a meal...Another neat trick is to fool yourself with low fat, low carb recipes that taste fattening but are a perfect disquise...Look for low carb recipes...Do google searches...go sit in a book store and look at the recipe books for ideas to make healthy tasty changes...Start looking at labels...Look for high protein and fiber and low carbs and sugar. compare your old version with healthier ones...It's so much easier once you learn how to do it...Try ground turkey rather than ground beef...or veggie burgers...Eat on a half a whole wheat bun rather than a white flour one...LITTLE changes like this make enormous differences. Eat fish a few times a week rather than spaggetti or fatty foods...Make your own pizza on low carb wraps in the oven...It's like a thin crust pizza! DELICIOUS! Use turkey pepperoni slices! Hormel makes them...See? This is how you do it...Need a quick sweet fix...Berries and other fresh fruit! SF pudding and jellos... Or Chew gum..Drink lots of water...add lemon and stevia or other sweetener...Drink Tea rather than coffee. I use a natural no sugar sweetener...I love (non-alcohol) Stevia drops...Tastes just like sugar and it's a plant...no cals, no carbs nothing fake about it. I grow it in my herb garden too...Get excited about NEW food and you begin to forget you are morning the old food...Move forward...You don't have to go backwards! It's easier than you think...So get outta that funk and look at some of these low carb WLS recipes to start! http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/ Good luck...Learn to LOVE healthy food...Old favs don't feel this good!
   — .Anita R.

July 24, 2008
I just got my surgery date yesterday and it is for Aug 4. I also have to do a pre-op surgery diet and let me tell you it is so hard. I never knew that giving up food would be this hard I never really realized that I have an addiction. I am a wreck as well I am not to the point of crying but I am very grumpy. I don't think that quitting smoking was this hard. I am just looking forward to the long term payoff. I am also glad that there is someone else going through what I am. Jessica
   — anxious247

July 24, 2008
For depression take a powerful liquid vitamin/mineral like VEMMA. Go to TrySomeVemma.com
   — [Deactivated Member]

July 24, 2008
VERY NORMAL. You are giving up the thing we all love best. Food. I was grouchy, moody, sad, depressed, and kinda mad that I have to give this stuff up. Hang in there. Sorry your boyfriend doesn't understand.
   — azoreangal

July 25, 2008
Oh boy do I know how you feel! I'm just hitting the 2-month mark on my pre-op eating plan. (I REFUSE to use the "D" word!) I was miserable the 1st couple of weeks. Now this is just me restricting fat, sugar, and attempting to restrict caffeine intake. I had already (about 2 years ago) stopped drinking carbonated drinks & had cut way back on pasta, bread, & potatoes so I have only 1/2 the battle you have right now. I was hungry, cranky (okay--nasty!) and I cried, as you say, at the drop of a hat. <p> I got some really good advice from some people here. I increased my LEAN protein by adding some protein shakes. That helped with the hunger which made all the rest just a little easier. <p> My hormone levels are all over the map because of my weight and the fact that I'm hitting menopause (or it's hitting me is probably more the truth!) Even if you are younger than I am, you have to consider that. Make sure you keep your blood sugar low and level by eating something healthy every 2-4 hours. High protein, low fat, high fiber stuff. Low blood sugar REALLY messes with the moods. <p> And yes, if you're anything like me, you are probably thinking this is like all the other grim, restrictive, deprivation diets you've ever been on so you probably ARE grieving. If you're like me, you might have been using food as a comfort medication for many years. To suddenly stop doing that is going to cause some HIGH ANXIETY. It sure does for me. I find myself pacing around the apartment, trying to pick fights with my husband, or yelling at the TV or.....crying! I think this is something we have to work through. Before we have the surgery which will FORCE us to not east like we did before, we need to be aware of all the things we have been doing unconsciously all these years just so we know what to look for and how to recognize the feelings. <p> I've been looking for other hobbies, interests to keep me out of the kitchen and my mind. I've reorganized all the cupboards and closets in the house--with the help of my new label-maker. I'm learning to sew. I'm swimming as many days a week as I can. We're going to baseball games--about 2 miles of walking each way! I get my nails done. I go to the library--anything I can think of to get me out of the house and away from the kitchen. <p> One more thing: if you've lost any weight, please go back to your doctor and insist he/she check your medication levels. Weight loss messes with med levels. <p> Good luck.
   — Tina G.




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