Question:
HAS ANYONE KEPT THERE WLS SURGERY FROM PEOPLE ?
HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE SUDDEN WEIGHT LOSS. IM CHOOSING NOT TO TELL SOME FAMILY MEMBERS & FRIENDS. — JENNIFER W. (posted on May 7, 2007)
May 7, 2007
I didn't tell people until after I had already had the surgery. Then I
explained it all to them.
You have to ask yourself what you will get out of it from not telling them.
I know people that have done the same thing and its done them more harm
then good. But then again, there are arguments for both sides. Basically
you just have to do what's right for you. I sure hope that you find the
peace and responses that you're looking for.... Good luck!!!
— rachel.b
May 7, 2007
Before my surgery I told my family, close friends and co-workers. I just
think thats more support I will have. Then if someone ask me how did I lose
so much weight, I then tell them I had wls. If you dont want to tell
certain people, just tell them your doctor prescribe you medicine to help
with weight loss and your excersing. Just make sure the people you are
telling you are having wls doesnt know the people you dont want to know.
— barfiep01
May 7, 2007
It is a personal thing about who to tell and who not to. I told 9
co-workers and my family and a few close friends beforehand. When I
started losing weight, I told people that I was on a medically supervised
diet because of my diabetes. No one really questioned further. Since I am
already down 70 lbs and nearing my goal weight, I have been telling most
people I had wls.
— Sheri A.
May 7, 2007
YES!!! My parents, siblings, boyfriend, and a few close friends are the
only that know. I am almost 6 weeks out! My friends and family who dont
know think that i am on a diet. One close friend thinks that i have a
stomach ulcer or something cuz she knows that i have been sick (dumping).
It was my personal choice to keep it a secret. I dont want the world to
know my business, i dont want anyone to criticize my choice and i also want
people to look at me and say..."wow! she looks awesome!" instead
of "she had that surgery that's why she lost weight."
— kittyluver77
May 7, 2007
A lot of people decide not to share their WLS with people. I had my
surgery back in January 2001 and the surgery was a hot topic then with
Carnie Wilson of "Wilson Phillips" just having had the surgery.
The few people I did tell at work were very critical so I decided to keep
it to myself and very close friends for years. When I took six weeks off
from work many people asked if I was OK and I told them I had my gall
bladder removed because of gallstones. Which was not a lie because my
surgeon did remove my gallbladder due to gallstones during my WLS. Some
people asked me if I had the WLS and I told them "no" because the
ones that were asking were very critical and would have only been nasty
about it. I needed support at that time and didn't want to constantly be
defending myself. I am more than six years post op now and a lot of people
know I had the surgery. I tend to tell new friends and guys I started
dating so I wouldnt have to explain to them later (I have now been married
for over a year so I dont have to tell new dates anymore). I have
successfully kept my weight off so if anyone wants to criticize me now I
could care less since the surgery was a success. A close friend of mine
just had the surgery in January of this year and she hasn't told hardly
anyone. Actually, she has only told her parents, her therapist and me (she
told me because we discussed it before her surgery and I was her buddy).
She hasn't even told her two brothers or her bestfriends. She doesn't want
the rest of her family to know because they are quite nasty. She actually
had complications, a stricture, and she told everyone that she had
developed a malabsorption problem. Now everyone thinks she is on a very
strict diet and has been congratulating her on all her weight loss, she has
lost more than 75 pounds. This works for her quite well and she is not
sorry that she has chosen not to tell anyone. It is very private to her.
She doesn't feel that anyone else will understand. She just turned 22 and
had a lot of weight related health conditions. So if you decide to keep
your WLS a secret then go right ahead. I feel the surgery has earned a lot
of bad press in the past few years and the last thing someone needs while
recovering is a ton of criticism. I still lie to random people when I am
out to lunch and throw up or people I work with. I don't want to be known
as the girl that had WLS rather I tend to like people knowing my name and
my personality!!! Just remember if you choose to give a different story,
get your story straight and tell everyone the same story. Diet is usually
a good answer to those nosey people, since you are definitely on a diet.
Ulcer works good if you get sick. Good luck!
— JGDugar
May 7, 2007
I had surgery in 2002 and to this day no one knows except my husband. At
that time I mentioned the possibility of gastric bypass t to a couple of
close friends and family, and all I got was negativity. I decided that I
definitely didn't need all their opinions going into the surgery with my
low self esteem and history of weight issues already. I successfully
dropped over 100 lbs and have kept most of it off. My DH just had the same
surgery 4 months ago and we never told anyone about his either. This is a
very personal decision and it is something that we don't regret.
It is sometime difficult in the beginning to hide it from close friends and
family because of the illness and dumping issues. We have never lived
close to our family so it's impact wasn't as severe as perhaps someone
elses story.
— sugarbaby
May 7, 2007
I told my best friend, my husband & 2 grown children then threatened
them with their lives if they so much as hinted that I had WLS. When people
asked them or me we would say -"It finally clicked. Eating small meals
more often, exercising & lots of water." If anyone says you lost
it so fast - I say "are you kidding I have been working on it for
months - it's just now starting to show." So far everyone - including
me is happy.
My doctor is the one who told me NOT to tell anyone until I felt
comfortable if ever.
Good luck - it's your story, tell it when you want or keep it to yourself.
I look at it as would you tell the world you were gaining weight & how?
Why is this different?
— jozee
May 7, 2007
WLS is nothing to be ashamed of, its a medical procedure to often save your
life. Beyond this theres no hiding the fast loss or changed eating. Awhile
ago a member here tried keeping it a secret at work and heard people seeing
her lose so much weight were working to get her job, thinking she had
cancer or AIDS. I personally had people ask how is your chemo coming.
Keepit it a secret once your a post op just leads to more gossip. Better to
tell the truth and be done with it! I do understand waiting till after you
have surgery to tell, this avoids the horror stories of people trying to
save you.
— bob-haller
May 7, 2007
I told alot of people before I had it. It was/is the biggest/greatest thing
that I have ever done for myself & I wanted to share it & get
support,etc. I had a couple of nay-sayers,but their comments helped to make
it clear what I want for my life. I get a lot of compliments about the
weight loss. It is more than that to me. I share my victories> being off
blood pressure meds...being able to walk to work without pain,feeling like
I am alive for the firt time in a long time... It is important for me to be
a shining star for people who look at obese people as someone less than
human,or defective. I hope that you are feeling peaceful & loved today.
— peacelovecat
May 7, 2007
Hey Jennifer,
Answer like Star Jones -- an emergency medical intervention.
I work with a small group so I told them before I left. We are a close
group and so its fun for all of us to watch my changes.
So its whomever you feel comfortable with to tell them.
I've noticed people at working looking at me and thinking to himself she's
lost weight -- however, they don't know me like that well enough to ask
--so they don't. They'll figure it out.
— the7thdean
May 7, 2007
as far as I'm concerned, it ain't nobody else business!!. I f I choose to
share it with them , I will, other wise I will just tell them, been doing a
bit more walking... ha ha ,,, let em eat cake!!! Brian
— johndough
May 7, 2007
I have told everyone I know, because I felt I needed the support. My
co-workers and boss have been great and wonderful support. My family is
excited and I have inspired my mom and sister to lose weight (not WLS
though) and they have each lost about 25 lbs. If I can help anyone through
my experience I will, but when it comes down to it ... it IS your business
and if you're not comfortable sharing then don't, people should just be
happy for you that you are losing weight! Congrats!!
— airbear762000
May 7, 2007
My dad still doesn't know and I had mine Nov 2003
— Maranda J.
May 7, 2007
Hi Jennifer. I think many people struggle with who to share this
information with. Some might support while others ridicule. I told very
few people about my surgery until it was over and several months down the
road. It really wasn't that difficult to do with the mind set that it was
none of their business. They just thought it was diet and exercise and I
let them think it. Sometimes we think we have to straighten out what
someone is thinking regarding us, and I just chose to not do that. I kept
it from many because if something had happened in surgery I didn't want my
husband to explain over and over again about our regret for having the
surgery. I trusted a few friends and family with the information and had
the surgery and trusted God with my life. Even six months post surgery
when I was well over 50 pounds down people would comment but I didn't say
much. I worked at a public high school and all the teens wanted to know
how I was losing weight, but for 2 years I didn't tell them anything. They
eventually found out because a teacher let it out of the bag, not me. just
follow the program and don't be mean, but let others know that for the
first time in your life you are having some confidence in losing weight,
and it is a private matter that you aren't ready to talk about yet. Tell
them you are healthy and doing well and learning to eat well and exercise
and enjoy it. Tell them the rest when you are ready. Take care, Patricia
P.
— Patricia P
May 8, 2007
You are under no obligation to tell anyone about your own personal
business, although you might want to tell close family and friends so you
have a support system in place. I started out not telling anyone except
close family. I just told other people that i was exercising and watching
what i ate, which is true. Eventually I decided that the surgery waas not
something to be ashamned of, and i began openly sharing with interested
people. Everyone is different, and you should only share if and when you
are comfortable doing so.
— Novashannon
May 8, 2007
I'm 7 years out, and wish I hadn't told as many people as I did at the
time. Well, I should've been more choosy with whom I told, anyway (some of
which chose to tell 2 friends, and they told 2 friends, and so on...) . I
come from a small-ish community where people usually know who other people
are. I still hate the comments, "oh you lost weight because you had
that surgery" or "oh YOU'RE the girl who had that surgery, kind
of a cop-out, wasn't it?"... I find it frustrating and tiresome to
still be defending my choices to random people. Don't get me wrong, I speak
out in favor of WLS as I feel that it's kind of my responsibility to
educate those who truely want/need to know, and I feel that sharing my
experience I hope to help as much as I can. I've been given a gift, and I
feel honored to be able to share, but it does get me a bit crunchy when
negative people I don't know feel like they have some right to try and
knock us all down, you know? Wheever my big weight loss comes up now, I
usually just say that I worked my Ass off (NOT a lie!!), and leave it at
that. Sometimes I give up the whole story, but I like it to be my choice...
just something to think about.
— CharlieGirl
May 8, 2007
I told everyone except a few family members that I rarely see. Those are
the same people that always told my mom "She has such a pretty
face," I am sure you get the point as to what angle I am getting at.
The only reason I didn't tell them was really just to be a smart a**. When
I finally saw them after surgery I was more than 100lbs down and the looks
I got were priceless. We were at a family get together and I made them wait
over an hour before I fessed up. Of course that's just me and my smart a**
nature. My theory was I wasn't going to be able to hide it, might as well
have fun with it. From 350lbs--->150lbs the cat's done been out of bag
for a while! Best Wishes-Heather
— tazthewiz23
May 8, 2007
Only my immediate family knows about the surgery. I did not tell my
extended family, nor anyone at work. When they comment about my weight
loss, I say "Thank you, I'm working on it!" If they want to
know how, I say "protein drinks, low carbs, portion control, and
exercise."
— Patricia R.
May 10, 2007
I just had surgery on the 7th. I only told my immediate family and a few
close friends. I feel it was my decision and no one else's. I really
didn't want to hear what people had to say about it, good or bad. I told
anyone else that asked why i had surgery, that it was internal and that
seemed to stop the questions.
— [Deactivated Member]
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