Question:
HAS ANYONE KEPT THERE WLS SURGERY FROM PEOPLE ?

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE SUDDEN WEIGHT LOSS. IM CHOOSING NOT TO TELL SOME FAMILY MEMBERS & FRIENDS.    — JENNIFER W. (posted on May 7, 2007)


May 7, 2007
I didn't tell people until after I had already had the surgery. Then I explained it all to them. You have to ask yourself what you will get out of it from not telling them. I know people that have done the same thing and its done them more harm then good. But then again, there are arguments for both sides. Basically you just have to do what's right for you. I sure hope that you find the peace and responses that you're looking for.... Good luck!!!
   — rachel.b

May 7, 2007
Before my surgery I told my family, close friends and co-workers. I just think thats more support I will have. Then if someone ask me how did I lose so much weight, I then tell them I had wls. If you dont want to tell certain people, just tell them your doctor prescribe you medicine to help with weight loss and your excersing. Just make sure the people you are telling you are having wls doesnt know the people you dont want to know.
   — barfiep01

May 7, 2007
It is a personal thing about who to tell and who not to. I told 9 co-workers and my family and a few close friends beforehand. When I started losing weight, I told people that I was on a medically supervised diet because of my diabetes. No one really questioned further. Since I am already down 70 lbs and nearing my goal weight, I have been telling most people I had wls.
   — Sheri A.

May 7, 2007
YES!!! My parents, siblings, boyfriend, and a few close friends are the only that know. I am almost 6 weeks out! My friends and family who dont know think that i am on a diet. One close friend thinks that i have a stomach ulcer or something cuz she knows that i have been sick (dumping). It was my personal choice to keep it a secret. I dont want the world to know my business, i dont want anyone to criticize my choice and i also want people to look at me and say..."wow! she looks awesome!" instead of "she had that surgery that's why she lost weight."
   — kittyluver77

May 7, 2007
A lot of people decide not to share their WLS with people. I had my surgery back in January 2001 and the surgery was a hot topic then with Carnie Wilson of "Wilson Phillips" just having had the surgery. The few people I did tell at work were very critical so I decided to keep it to myself and very close friends for years. When I took six weeks off from work many people asked if I was OK and I told them I had my gall bladder removed because of gallstones. Which was not a lie because my surgeon did remove my gallbladder due to gallstones during my WLS. Some people asked me if I had the WLS and I told them "no" because the ones that were asking were very critical and would have only been nasty about it. I needed support at that time and didn't want to constantly be defending myself. I am more than six years post op now and a lot of people know I had the surgery. I tend to tell new friends and guys I started dating so I wouldnt have to explain to them later (I have now been married for over a year so I dont have to tell new dates anymore). I have successfully kept my weight off so if anyone wants to criticize me now I could care less since the surgery was a success. A close friend of mine just had the surgery in January of this year and she hasn't told hardly anyone. Actually, she has only told her parents, her therapist and me (she told me because we discussed it before her surgery and I was her buddy). She hasn't even told her two brothers or her bestfriends. She doesn't want the rest of her family to know because they are quite nasty. She actually had complications, a stricture, and she told everyone that she had developed a malabsorption problem. Now everyone thinks she is on a very strict diet and has been congratulating her on all her weight loss, she has lost more than 75 pounds. This works for her quite well and she is not sorry that she has chosen not to tell anyone. It is very private to her. She doesn't feel that anyone else will understand. She just turned 22 and had a lot of weight related health conditions. So if you decide to keep your WLS a secret then go right ahead. I feel the surgery has earned a lot of bad press in the past few years and the last thing someone needs while recovering is a ton of criticism. I still lie to random people when I am out to lunch and throw up or people I work with. I don't want to be known as the girl that had WLS rather I tend to like people knowing my name and my personality!!! Just remember if you choose to give a different story, get your story straight and tell everyone the same story. Diet is usually a good answer to those nosey people, since you are definitely on a diet. Ulcer works good if you get sick. Good luck!
   — JGDugar

May 7, 2007
I had surgery in 2002 and to this day no one knows except my husband. At that time I mentioned the possibility of gastric bypass t to a couple of close friends and family, and all I got was negativity. I decided that I definitely didn't need all their opinions going into the surgery with my low self esteem and history of weight issues already. I successfully dropped over 100 lbs and have kept most of it off. My DH just had the same surgery 4 months ago and we never told anyone about his either. This is a very personal decision and it is something that we don't regret. It is sometime difficult in the beginning to hide it from close friends and family because of the illness and dumping issues. We have never lived close to our family so it's impact wasn't as severe as perhaps someone elses story.
   — sugarbaby

May 7, 2007
I told my best friend, my husband & 2 grown children then threatened them with their lives if they so much as hinted that I had WLS. When people asked them or me we would say -"It finally clicked. Eating small meals more often, exercising & lots of water." If anyone says you lost it so fast - I say "are you kidding I have been working on it for months - it's just now starting to show." So far everyone - including me is happy. My doctor is the one who told me NOT to tell anyone until I felt comfortable if ever. Good luck - it's your story, tell it when you want or keep it to yourself. I look at it as would you tell the world you were gaining weight & how? Why is this different?
   — jozee

May 7, 2007
WLS is nothing to be ashamed of, its a medical procedure to often save your life. Beyond this theres no hiding the fast loss or changed eating. Awhile ago a member here tried keeping it a secret at work and heard people seeing her lose so much weight were working to get her job, thinking she had cancer or AIDS. I personally had people ask how is your chemo coming. Keepit it a secret once your a post op just leads to more gossip. Better to tell the truth and be done with it! I do understand waiting till after you have surgery to tell, this avoids the horror stories of people trying to save you.
   — bob-haller

May 7, 2007
I told alot of people before I had it. It was/is the biggest/greatest thing that I have ever done for myself & I wanted to share it & get support,etc. I had a couple of nay-sayers,but their comments helped to make it clear what I want for my life. I get a lot of compliments about the weight loss. It is more than that to me. I share my victories> being off blood pressure meds...being able to walk to work without pain,feeling like I am alive for the firt time in a long time... It is important for me to be a shining star for people who look at obese people as someone less than human,or defective. I hope that you are feeling peaceful & loved today.
   — peacelovecat

May 7, 2007
Hey Jennifer, Answer like Star Jones -- an emergency medical intervention. I work with a small group so I told them before I left. We are a close group and so its fun for all of us to watch my changes. So its whomever you feel comfortable with to tell them. I've noticed people at working looking at me and thinking to himself she's lost weight -- however, they don't know me like that well enough to ask --so they don't. They'll figure it out.
   — the7thdean

May 7, 2007
as far as I'm concerned, it ain't nobody else business!!. I f I choose to share it with them , I will, other wise I will just tell them, been doing a bit more walking... ha ha ,,, let em eat cake!!! Brian
   — johndough

May 7, 2007
I have told everyone I know, because I felt I needed the support. My co-workers and boss have been great and wonderful support. My family is excited and I have inspired my mom and sister to lose weight (not WLS though) and they have each lost about 25 lbs. If I can help anyone through my experience I will, but when it comes down to it ... it IS your business and if you're not comfortable sharing then don't, people should just be happy for you that you are losing weight! Congrats!!
   — airbear762000

May 7, 2007
My dad still doesn't know and I had mine Nov 2003
   — Maranda J.

May 7, 2007
Hi Jennifer. I think many people struggle with who to share this information with. Some might support while others ridicule. I told very few people about my surgery until it was over and several months down the road. It really wasn't that difficult to do with the mind set that it was none of their business. They just thought it was diet and exercise and I let them think it. Sometimes we think we have to straighten out what someone is thinking regarding us, and I just chose to not do that. I kept it from many because if something had happened in surgery I didn't want my husband to explain over and over again about our regret for having the surgery. I trusted a few friends and family with the information and had the surgery and trusted God with my life. Even six months post surgery when I was well over 50 pounds down people would comment but I didn't say much. I worked at a public high school and all the teens wanted to know how I was losing weight, but for 2 years I didn't tell them anything. They eventually found out because a teacher let it out of the bag, not me. just follow the program and don't be mean, but let others know that for the first time in your life you are having some confidence in losing weight, and it is a private matter that you aren't ready to talk about yet. Tell them you are healthy and doing well and learning to eat well and exercise and enjoy it. Tell them the rest when you are ready. Take care, Patricia P.
   — Patricia P

May 8, 2007
You are under no obligation to tell anyone about your own personal business, although you might want to tell close family and friends so you have a support system in place. I started out not telling anyone except close family. I just told other people that i was exercising and watching what i ate, which is true. Eventually I decided that the surgery waas not something to be ashamned of, and i began openly sharing with interested people. Everyone is different, and you should only share if and when you are comfortable doing so.
   — Novashannon

May 8, 2007
I'm 7 years out, and wish I hadn't told as many people as I did at the time. Well, I should've been more choosy with whom I told, anyway (some of which chose to tell 2 friends, and they told 2 friends, and so on...) . I come from a small-ish community where people usually know who other people are. I still hate the comments, "oh you lost weight because you had that surgery" or "oh YOU'RE the girl who had that surgery, kind of a cop-out, wasn't it?"... I find it frustrating and tiresome to still be defending my choices to random people. Don't get me wrong, I speak out in favor of WLS as I feel that it's kind of my responsibility to educate those who truely want/need to know, and I feel that sharing my experience I hope to help as much as I can. I've been given a gift, and I feel honored to be able to share, but it does get me a bit crunchy when negative people I don't know feel like they have some right to try and knock us all down, you know? Wheever my big weight loss comes up now, I usually just say that I worked my Ass off (NOT a lie!!), and leave it at that. Sometimes I give up the whole story, but I like it to be my choice... just something to think about.
   — CharlieGirl

May 8, 2007
I told everyone except a few family members that I rarely see. Those are the same people that always told my mom "She has such a pretty face," I am sure you get the point as to what angle I am getting at. The only reason I didn't tell them was really just to be a smart a**. When I finally saw them after surgery I was more than 100lbs down and the looks I got were priceless. We were at a family get together and I made them wait over an hour before I fessed up. Of course that's just me and my smart a** nature. My theory was I wasn't going to be able to hide it, might as well have fun with it. From 350lbs--->150lbs the cat's done been out of bag for a while! Best Wishes-Heather
   — tazthewiz23

May 8, 2007
Only my immediate family knows about the surgery. I did not tell my extended family, nor anyone at work. When they comment about my weight loss, I say "Thank you, I'm working on it!" If they want to know how, I say "protein drinks, low carbs, portion control, and exercise."
   — Patricia R.

May 10, 2007
I just had surgery on the 7th. I only told my immediate family and a few close friends. I feel it was my decision and no one else's. I really didn't want to hear what people had to say about it, good or bad. I told anyone else that asked why i had surgery, that it was internal and that seemed to stop the questions.
   — [Deactivated Member]




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