Question:
Is there a way to report someone who is only gaining the weight
only for Bariatric Surgery? It distresses me that a member is doing exactly that. — SHANGFORD (posted on March 9, 2006)
March 9, 2006
personally speaking it is NOT your business what other people do. Yes,
there are people that gain weight however they are having the surgery for
the wrong reasons and they will fail. I suggest that you concentrate on
your own journey and let the other fail on there own.
— Steve Cohen
March 9, 2006
I feel sorry for that person, not only are they hurting their health but
gaining weight, they are willing to undergo a very serious- life changing
surgery to lose weight, how much do they have to gain to have the surgery?
Are they aware of the risks, I don't think I would personally take them if
I only had under 100 lbs to lose, but I really can't judge for someone
else, If you know them, I would try to educate them on the risks of the
surgery. And most insurance companies require a Dr.s supervised weight loss
attempts, as well as it being medically necessary,and 5 years of being
morbidly obese so I don't think they will have a easy time. Just my 2
cents. I don't think we should be able to report anyone, because this sight
is where people come to feel safe with others who hopefully understand or
will try to understand how they feel. If this person wants some advise on
the question of whether to gain weight for the surgery has been asked in
previous Q&A and some good advice is in there. Ask yourself if it was
you or me how would I want someone to help me? LOL Jen
— jlflbf
March 9, 2006
I wouldn't encourage one to do this, but I do understand the desparation to
have surgery. There have been posts in the past where people have used
various ways to add weight -like rolls of quarters in pockets, etc. And, in
fact, when I wrote my husband's appeal letter when he had a BMI of 38.2,
explaining his various reasons for needing surgery, I added the statement
that it would seem a shame to have to gain more weight in order to qualify
for surgery, making the risks greater, recovery more difficult, etc.
Obviously this person is doing this for reasons we don't know, but I
certainly don't think it's anyone's place to "report" them. They
could easily say they have "food and emotional issues" and are
gianing weight as a result of being denied surgery.
— koogy
March 9, 2006
I hate to admit it, lol, but I'm with the others. I would'nt report this
ether. It's not like someone selling drugs or otherwish hurting someone
else. I hope this person is'nt gaining alot of weight on purpose. I hope no
more than 10 lbs.
I feel WLS should only be a "last resort". It is an awesome thing
to go through, and live with. At least in my opinion. However sometimes we
do what we think we have too. Sometimes the choices could be hard to live
with. Anyway, I hope you reconsider. I would'nt tattle. This person may pay
dearly in the end anyway. :)
— Danmark
March 9, 2006
I have 2 sons. Both of them are about 80# over wt. Their father had his
first heart attack at age 39 and died from another at 49. He also was
onnly about 80-90# over. Would I try to stop them from living the rest of
their now shortened lives (2 morbid parents) on a techicality? That 100#
number is arbitrary, random. It's not magic. Sick is sick, regardless of
the actual number of pounds past a chart weight. Do you think surgery on a
person who weighs 205 is "fair"? How about if she was scheduled
to die within 3 months? She was 5 ft, so not technically
"eligible" until more like 225. Ask yourself, would you want to
spend the rest of your life "just" 80 or 85# over weight, but
with all the comorbs as if you were just a teeny bit heavier? A person who
is gaining just a few lbs to meet this random criteria may be just like the
rest of us, trying to keep breathing.
— vitalady
March 9, 2006
I have friends who worked the numbers to qualify. They saved their lives!
None of us know all about someone elseses medical conditions and because of
that I dont believe its anyones business but their own. They may well have
realtives you never heard about who died young. Some dont admit to being
diabetic.
— bob-haller
March 9, 2006
If you are reporting your own weight gain to your doctor, fine. If you are
concerned about your family member, you can only suggest. If the person is
of age, it is not for you to judge their present staus. Each person does
what they can do and when they want to. Taking care of someone elses
business is not your business; a bit salty but true.
— sor09
March 9, 2006
You should mind your own business just because you were "lucky"
and had aBMI over 40 and qualified doesn't mean it makes any easier for
someon who is maybe right around 37-38 to get the weight off. I will tell
anyone that I did just that and I even told my surgeon post op becuae I had
tried and failed so many times this surgery was my only hope. Why shouldn't
someone so close be given the same opportunity that others have? Definitely
keep your nose out of other people's business and let people live their
lives. By teh way...how exactly is this hurting you and making an impact on
your life in any way?
— SteffieBear15
March 9, 2006
It seems that maybe I should have explained a little more in detail about
what's going on. As far as the horrible responses I was given, I was asked
to pose the question, so I did.
As far as it not being someone else's business, I agree. However, because
it is a difficult process to qualify for bariatric surgery, it seems to me
(and the person who asked me to ask the question) that if people are doing
outrageous things to gain the weight (she gained 150 lbs) to be eligible
for surgery, they should be pointed out.
Again, I agree with it being that person's decision, however, it is causing
others who NEED the surgery for health reasons (like myself) to have to go
unnecessary steps to weed out those playing games in order for their
insurance to pay for their "cosmetic wants".
I apologize if the question offended many, as I see it did, but I was
asking for a friend.
— SHANGFORD
March 9, 2006
150 pounds? most insurance requires being MO for 5 years. Did they have
surgery? I know of people wearing heavy clothes, not standing up straight
for height measure, that changes the BMI a lot, even a inch, rolls of
quarters in the pocket but geez 150 pounds. Hope they dont get to their
goal:( then find insurance says wait 5 years....
— bob-haller
March 9, 2006
Someone who gains 150 to qualify for bariatric surgery either is lying
about why they are gaining because they are out of control on their eating,
or they are seriously touched in the head. If this person was a normal
weight to begin with and wanted to have bariatric surgery for some bizarre
reason, I'd say they have a psychological problem. As far as gaining 20
lbs to qualify, I would if I had to. I would not let a technicality keep
me from pursuing the goal. And no, I do not agree with the first poster
that this person will fail. That is not true. It only shows greater
determination, IMO. No one knows who will succeed or fail in this. Thing
is, you can shake your head at what someone is doing, but I wouldn't stick
your nose into it. What you think you know and what you really know may be
two different things. And once you stick your nose in, you can't pull it
back out. Let's assume their saying they gained the weight for bariatric
surgery was a ruse because they knew they were out of control and didn't
want to seem so. You stick your nose into it and then they find out you
stuck your nose into it because the doctor starts questioning them, and
then you've lost a friend or made an enemy. And honestly, I don't think it
would be easy to convince a doctor that a person packed on 150 lbs just to
qualify for the surgery. That is going way beyond what would be needed...
— Dinka Doo
March 9, 2006
I understand you being upset about someone doing this. But then again, it
is not any of your business. I have a sister in law that had to gain 20
pounds to do the surgery. I was behind her 100 percent. She was heavy
any-way, but needed the extra pounds. I stood by her all the way. Sometimes
there are things that you got to do. I had the surgery 08/03, I was
overweight, I did not need to gain any more weight to get the surgery, but
if I had to I certainly would of.
Thanks, Crystal
— lippyblonde2000
March 9, 2006
You are obviously not talking about someone who is already obese and is
trying to manipulate the sometimes unreasonable insurance 'qualifications'
in order to have surgery. You are talking about someone who has a severe
mental health issue. It would be extremely difficult for a normal weight
person to gain 150# and they may not be able to do it, no matter how hard
they try. That being said -- if this person is not your family or your
friend -- it's not your business. Personally, I would try to develop a
relationship with this person and first find out if it's true and then
encourage them to seek help. Also, if you know their family you could
'gently' try to let them know that this is happening and that they should
get her to psychiatrist (sp).
— [Deactivated Member]
March 10, 2006
Because of my height, for many years, I was just shy of the magic BMI of
40. Even though I had 5 comorbidities, even though I faced all the problems
every other fat person had, my insurance company told me I was 10-15 pounds
under a 40 BMI and therfore not eligible for the surgical solution. I did
the supervised diets, the drugs and everything else.... and everything I
lost would eventully find it's way back. So finally, I wised up and bulked
up for the last 15lbs. Know what? The insurance company approved me
immediately. That was over 18 months ago, and I have lost and kept off 120
lbs. I have never felt better in the past 15 years. I'm lucky to know, that
will be alive to raise my 2 boys. My point is this. every person goes
through this journey by themselves. Each of us make decisions that affect
our lives. I would never ask someone else to live by my decisions, and I
don't think it is appropriate for you to make a decision for someone else.
Quite frankly, this is truely none of your business, because you probably
don't know everything there is to know.. My guess is that you have enough
issues on your plate dealing with you. Try not to be concerned about what
someone else is doing, as they have to live with the decisions they make.
— Harry King
March 10, 2006
Ok let me get this straight....this person supposedly gained 150lbs. to
qualify for bariatric surgery which is usually set at 40BMI or above.
Hmmm... Something sounds way off here. 150lbs lighter would make this
person normal weight so why would they want to gain weight for the surgery?
If someone actually did this they have psychological problems that surgery
on their stomach will not help. They are in need of a psychiatrist.
— Suuz51
March 10, 2006
GAIN A FEW POUNDS, CURE DIABETES,APNEA,HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE, ARTHRITIS, IDB,
SOUNDS RESONABLE TO ME, NOW HOW TO CURE A A$$ WITH OUT GOING TO JAIL IS
TOUGHER.
— walter A.
March 13, 2006
If a person needed to gain 150lbs. to qualify for surgery then they were
obviously not obese to begin with-in fact since you must be 100 lbs.over
your ideal weight to qualify ,it sounds like your "friend" was
underweight. They may have an eating disorder and may think the WLS will
keep them thin forever. Sad and definately not something I would run out
and report someone for. It sounds like this person needs your support. They
are wither lying about why they've gained weight because they are ashamed
(like so amny of us) or they have serious emotional issues. They need
understanding not judgement from you.Dannielle
— D. Robertson
Click Here to Return