Question:
I have my first consult may 14 and very nervous,scared,and excited.

i have researched this site for a few months now,and i have learned alot about it.my family is against this surgery,because of the risk,so i have no support from them at all.anyone else in my shoes?    — deb44m (posted on May 8, 2002)

May 8, 2002
Yep. I am right there with you. My consult is scheduled for June 13th and everyone on my side of the family is totally against me having the surgery. Now my DH's family is all for it. They think that it will be great for us to go thru this and go thru it together. The complications related to this surgery are really not that much higher than with any surgery. Ask your family if they would have objections if you had to have back surgery or knee surgery or even a c-section. The complications with WLS is the same as with all of them. Hope this helps!!!
   — Renee S.

May 8, 2002
I'm in exactly the same situation. My husband is terrified that something will go wrong. He thinks I have totally gone nuts. I must say, I didn't hear any complaints when I went to get a tubal ligation. Of course he claims that you cannot compare the two. To that, I say a big WHATEVER! Then we have my "skinny" friends who all believe that I just have to find the "perfect" diet. Like the hundreds that I tried already just weren't right for me. I think the worst part of all of this, is that I am so excited about this surgery and have no one to talk about it with. Thank God for this website. It really keeps me motivated. My first consultation is on June 24th and I cannot wait to get the ball rolling....with or without the support of my close friends and family. Good luck to you and if you ever need someone to chat with feel free to e-mail me.
   — amd0721

May 8, 2002
I have my consult May 14th also. I guess I'm too old (47) and ornery to be scared and nervous; prob. a tad bit TOO excited at that/and the 10 years after childbirth and 10 yrs of gaining weight and not losing it put me in this frame of mind. It is SO nice to be able to read this forum and know others out there feel like I d. Both my parents families have a majority of heavy women, so I am not in your shoes. HOWEVER, don't let what others think sway your decisions. It's YOUR life, not theirs. Just because they're family doesn't mean everything they think or say is in YOUR best interest. If you're over 18, take control, you're an adult and do what's best for YOU. You are in my prayers and yes, when it's all over, you'll be glad. If I seem bossy , I apologize, it's my 20 yr military training speaking up. I've run into SO many who have an RNY and NO ONE regrets it. That's why I think it's the safest thing out there. Am having it done laproscopically, which is the less invasive. Best wishes and keep strong
   — Deb D.

May 8, 2002
I have my first consult on May 15th. I am also very excited, but also very nervous. I have not told many people yet. So far, no major opposition in my family. I guess I am nervous because it is so permanent. Once you have the surgery, there is no turning back! I know that this is really a plus, but, it's still scarey. It seems as though most people are happy afterwards and don't regret it. I think what makes me most nervous is that it is like walking into the unknown. Since the surgery effects everyone differently, I don't really know what to expect. I'm sure a lot of fears will be addressed by the surgeon. Good luck in your consult and keep chatting in here. It really helps when I start to have doubts.
   — Marie W.

May 8, 2002
***5/08/02*** I had my final consult today and am excited. I also am SCARED. My husband was not "allowing" me to do this and I finally got him to a seminar with my Dr. and he now is 100% supportive. He has been to EVERY meeting and the support group meetings as well. Although he said he is extreamly afraid of this he knows that is my hearts desire. I haven't told any family members and only co-workers know about my surgery. This site is wonderful.
   — Janet H.

May 8, 2002
Hi Debra, I just wanted to say that my first consult is the same day as you-May 14th-And I am so excited! But also nervous! I've been researching for some time now and find this site to very, very helpful. I haven't told my family or even my co-workers about my intentions...My husband is totally behind me though. I don't think I'm going to say anything to my co-workers...I haven't decided yet. But I don't think I will share this with them. Personal choice. And I want to tell my family but I've chosen to keep it a secret because I want it to be a surprise! I hope you keep well and wish you all the best on this wonderful journey!
   — K D.

May 9, 2002
I have my first initial consult on May 13th. I am really scared also. My family does not support me either. They do not think I am big enough to get the surgery. I was always told it is not how other people perceive you, but how you perceive yourself. I am not happy with my appearance and my health. I have hypertension due to my weight. I may not look too big, but obviously my weight is doing something.
   — Tarsha B.