Question:
Please, I could use some encouragement........
My highest weight ever was 480 pounds in August of 2007. When I had my consultation with the surgeon in December of 2007, I was 464 pounds. Now, at the end of February, I am 443 pounds. I am not giving up on the prospect of having WLS but my insurance does not cover it and my surgeon's office tells me I would have to be a self pay and I cannot afford the surgery and do not qualify for a loan. I am trying very hard to lose the weight without surgery but I find myself getting discouraged and I want to stay positive. My question is: how do others stay positive and how do you deal with strangers making rude comments on your weight? It seems everyone has something rude to say....kids, adults, doctors, everyone....any encouragement would be much appreciated. My wish is that everyone who needs WLS could get it! — Lisa L. (posted on February 28, 2008)
February 28, 2008
Hi You are doing great! I too am dealing with rude comments. I have been
working at the same job for 10 years. I recently learned that someone has
been saying i am too big and fat to do my job. They just wanted my job.
My company did not cover wls I heard one of the coffee places cover it. I
want to say starbucks but I am not sure. Check it out. Keep up the good
work.
— Jesses_girl
February 28, 2008
I know how you feel. My boyfriend just went through everything he had to do
with the dr and the insurance co. he called the ins. co and asked if this
surgery was covered under his plan and the girl said yes as long as he did
the 6 month medically monitored diet. he did it. they sent all of his
paperwork in and then they denied him telling him it isnt coverd under his
plan. i wrote an appeal letter and they said they are upholding the denail
because its not in his plan and they had and RN from connecticare look at
his paperwork and it is not medically necesary. I wrote them back and said
first of all the girl who told him it would be covered should be fired. 2nd
he has 3 dr.s telling him he needs the surgery andyou RN is saying he
doesnt and you will go with what she says. so now i am going to battle over
the phone with them. You may want to try Walter Lindstrom on
obesityhelp.com. He fights for people to get this surgery. Even if
insurance companies deny you. For now we both have joined the gym. I had
gastric bypass 4 yrs ago and thank god my insurance approved me right away.
Keep your chin up and look inot walter lindstrom if you have the money. He
will send an appeal letter and he will fight for you. A girl I work with
got approved with him fighting for her.
— Joanc
February 28, 2008
Keep your chin up. You are doing great. Maybe you can find a job with
benefits that would pay for WLS. Good luck to you.
— Carlyn M.
February 28, 2008
I THINK WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY IN MEXICO IS MUCH LESS EXPENSIVE BUT IF YOU
DECIDE TO GO THAT ROUTE DO YOUR HOMEWORK CAREFULLY AND MAKE SURE YOU GET A
GOOD DOCTOR. GOOD LUCK TO YOU AND I WISH YOU THE BEST! DON'T LET OTHERS
GET YOU DOWN, IF YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART THAT YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON THAT IS
ALL THAT MATTERS!! I KNOW IT IS HARD, I TOO HAVE BEEN THERE!
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEIGHT LOSS TO DATE--THAT IS SOMETHING TO BE PROUD
OF!!!
— wizardofoz
February 28, 2008
Dont give up!
I still hear rude comments about 'taking the easy way out'. Just take it
one day/step at a time. Look for alternatives... be agressive &
passionate about getting approved! And I know it's not easy to find another
job... because it' not easy for heavy people to be hired... but. DO NOT DO
NOT DO NOT give up! I dont know how... or when... but, it has been my
experience that things always work out! God Bless you and Good luck in
your continued success! you've lost close to 50 lbs on your own?
CONGRATS! That's not an easy task... you're a winner in my book!
Lax
— 502Laxi
February 28, 2008
I agree with others don't give up keep going on this sight for
encouragement I did. I started at weight 395 and now I am down to 367. I
researched it for 3 years and been working on it for 2 now for the
approval. Mine doesn't pay either, but here is a thought. Do you have any
kids if you do could you get medicaid they pay but it is a years supervised
diet mine lasted16 months till I got in to see the surgeon I also heard
medicaid also pays. If one doctor you are not saftisfied with find
another.Once you leave the office they pretty well forget about you. you
are the only one that will fight hard to get it. I have found my phone is
my best friend. I call constitantly also medicare is suppose to pay also.
Please dont take this as an offense but they said obesity is a disease so
play on that and talk to anyone that will listen as far as proffesionals
go. I have 3 psch eval. that all three said i was ready for it, when the
insurance would not pay i had to go to one that had a clinic in the obese
department and she said I looked depressed with in 15 minutes she had
summed me up and the test I took I was honest about my past I was a victim
of domestic violence. I said I was going to be successful not matter what
anyone said and she said it is up to me if you have it or not and I said oh
no you may make me wait longer but you are not in charge God is and when I
left she said do it the healthy way another words she meant don't do the
surgery. Well guess what I have a date after 5 years and I have surgery
April fools day. Go figure, you may not have to wait that long. As far as
people go no one has the right to make you feel bad. If they say something
about your weight say at least I have class and I am not rude like you
where everyone can hear it. It will embarras them. Don't get me wrong I did
not learn this overnight I had people to encourage me and help me along and
after getting out of the marriage I am bold. I told my boss after the
surgery there won't be any stopping what I can do. If you need someone to
talk to email me at [email protected] God has blessed me with a new home
and new job and now with the surgery. Keep you chin up and God Bless You!
— dawnspaints
February 28, 2008
I am 62 and had WLS on my 62nd Birthday. I too was turned down by my
insurance after having spent a year meeting the requirements to have the
surgery. The told me they changed the policy to now WLS regardless of the
need. I decided that if I had to work two jobs that I would have the
surgery and with the doctor I wanted. I lost 40 lbs before surgery and it
was a big help, as today they make small cuts to prevent stress on your
system and the liver has a lot of fat, and is hard to work under to access
the stomach. I am glad I did what every I had to in order to have the
surgery. You could look for another job, but I know it is hard being
overweight and finding a new job. As to the comments from others, I have
spent a life time of dealing with others. I finally decided to tell
someone that was rude, that they were rude. I used to just get in their
face and say "I am fat but I am doing everything I can to overcome
being fat, but you are not doing anything to overcome being rude are
you?" They never say anything to another overweight person again.
Just do your best and keep up working on that weight. I was 385 and today
I am down to 265. It is hardest before surgery, as when you level off for
a few weeks you think you are doing something wrong and give up. The fact
is that happens after surgery, but you can't give up and the weight does
start to drop again. If I would have hung into diets, I could have made
it, but it is very hard to keep it off without the aid of surgery, unless
you are very disiplined. Save money somewhere. I could pay for my surgery
with the savings from just food and drugs today. I don't like to send
people out of the country, but if that is your only option, I would ask
others that went out of the country for their advise and go to the bust you
can find. Don't give up, it is your life you will be saving!
— William (Bill) wmil
February 28, 2008
sweety you qualify. your going to have to bug your insurance for this
weight loss. find another dr. who excepts your insurance and who cant help
fight with requesting them to grant you this surgery. if not start writing
the president of the company , your mayor , govern, senator . tell them
your dr, states that this is life or death. and that you could die from
being over weight. dont give up stay on them . thats if you realy want this
surgery. there is something on this pg that assist you with when insurance
deny you wls .
— yvettetas
February 28, 2008
You have had some good answers here and so do not need my
input...BUT...over the past year I have come to realize that 3 people who
are very important in my life, my mother, my aunt and a close elderly
friend are all very biased toward overweight people. Now they may have been
all along and I just got heavy enough that it really began to wear on me.
None of the 3 have ever been more than perhaps 20 pounds overweight at one
time. They also know all about the health problems that made my weight go
up so drasticlly and I do not think they would ever say anything to hurt me
personally but the remarks they make about others makes me realize that
they most likely think the same of me. In the beginning I was very hurt but
then I came to realize that their remarks could easily be aimed at others
regarding race, religion, etc. I try hard to let these remarks go in one
ear and out the other but they still hurt. When it is someone you love it
is hard to let this blow off. At times I want to speak up but I know that
would not help. They are the way they are and I m not going to change them.
I do hope one day however to be able to speak up to them, in the mean time
I try to blow it off. I am curious to see how their attitudes change once I
have my surgery and loose weight. Good luck to you and I hope you will find
a way around your delima and get your surgery. In the mean time you are
doing wonderfully...keep up the good work!
— Gena L.
February 28, 2008
First, CONGRATS!!!!!! You are doing a great job! Keep it up!!!
As far as others are concerned, you just need to grow a thick skin and
forget about them. Kids will be kids and don't always know better....and
sometimes, I have to laugh when I realise that they have embarrased thier
parents by making such commentary. Keep in mind that
"bystanders", the kids you refer to, people in the mall,
coworkers, whatever...they don't know you and they don't mean anything to
you! They have no clue where you have been, and you certainly don't need to
advirtise where you are going. If family is creating an issue, then you
need to deal with it. Tell them that you appreciate thier concern, but that
you are on a program and have had significant success. Follow that by
reminding them that you didn't gain weight over night and it won't be lost
that quickly, either. Don't argue with any of these family members if they
choose to pursue it, simply find a way to exclude them from your daily
life. Be like a duck...let it all roll off your back. YOU ARE TERRIFIC!!!!
— zandeldm
February 28, 2008
Lisa! You are doing what a lot of us cannot do with out the help of our
"tool", what ever it may be. You are doing so well!
Stranger's comments - they must be ignorant. You know in your heart who you
are and what is inside you. Apparently, they must be as ugly on the inside
as they are on the outside. Blow them off. They don't count as human
beings!!
— Tamboh63
March 4, 2008
I too had to be a self-pay. Due to this, I had surgery in Mexico. My
experience was wonderful. I am 8 1/2 months post op and have lost 90 lbs.
I only need to lose about 25 more and will be at goal and out of the
"overweight" category!!!! If you need to find out more about
this, feel free to contact me. Best Wishes, Neisha
— neisha =.
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