Question:
My husband just mentioned he is grossed out by the scar I may have..
what does the scar look like if you are having the vbg surgery??? very long or what?? I need to do more research. I know a scar is a small price to pay, but I would still like to know.. — NICOLE W. (posted on July 7, 2001)
July 7, 2001
Nicole, I'm emailing you a picture of mine. I will be two months post op on
the 8th.
— Danmark
July 7, 2001
Nicole, The size of your scar will depend mostly on the surgeon you use.
My open vbg scar is about 4 inches long. It starts about 2 inches below my
sternum and ends about 2 inches above my belly button. My scar is much
smaller than some other surgeon's in my city. One surgeon here in town
makes a HUGE incision - at least 12 inches long - "from boobs to belly
button" he proclaims almost proudly. My scar isn't "gross",
it never has been. Sure, it's something that I wish wasn't there, but it
is fading, and I figure when I have a tummy tuck it'll get traded in for a
better scar from the plastic surgeon. I think you husband will find that
he's not going to be grossed out by your scar. He will probably be really
turned on by the physical changes that will take place after the surgery!
He'll be able to hold you much closer and you will be able to move in ways
you never could before as an obese person (if you get my drift.. wink
wink!) Of course the scar and the possible hair loss should be the least
of our concerns, but I think focusing on them lets us escape from some of
the scarier things to think about. I hope things go well for you. I'm 13
months post op, down 134 pounds, within 15 pounds of my "never gonna
see that number again!" goal.
— BethVBG
July 7, 2001
You could get a lap bypass or the newly approved lap band, Either of these
would leave little or no scar and the lap band should now be elegible for
insurance coverage since its FDA approved. Its also adjustable and easily
reversible. Email me for band info.
— bob-haller
July 7, 2001
tell him to 'GET OVER IT!
— corrine G.
July 7, 2001
My scar is not horizontal like everyone elses, mine is vertical right on my
waist. The surgeon did it that way because of the folds on my stomach. It
is about 5 inches long, and I am 3 months postop. It doesn't look bad,
it's just a little pink, and it has faded some since the surgery. Right
after the surgery it was bright red with some purple in it. The scar won't
go away but it will fade in time.
— [Anonymous]
July 7, 2001
I think he, as many men do, used the wrong word to describe his true
feelings. He most likely meant that it will be hard to see the woman he
loves in pain and that is what the incision looks like! I know it is hard
for me to even see my loved ones get shots, you know? Tell him my husband
was 'scared' (nicer word) and wouldn't look at it until about day 13 the
night before the staples were removed and even then it was a quick peek.
Now it looks much better and he will take a glance when prompted. My
daughters and sister all looked at it within a few days of surgery. Hey,
like one person posted, I didn't greatly enjoy looking at it either. My
incision from an open-RNY on 6-19-01 is about 6 inches long and extends
from just about the sternum vertically to right above my navel. Best Wishes
and remember he probably was just speaking from lack of information, fear
of the unknown and the difficulty putting a more accurate word on his
emotions.
— Molly S.
July 8, 2001
My husband took care of my wound every day. I have a 12 inch incision due
to a lot of abdominal adhesions. He cleaned it and bandaged it daily, along
with the G-Tube sight. He said to me on more than one occasion, "It
hurts me to see you like this". He wasn't grossed out exactly, it was
just that he loves me and the scar so obviously represented the pain I had
been through. I'm six weeks post op now and the scar is still red (I had
staples so it's a rail road track), but it's healing nicely and eventually
will fade. It's not a big deal, but it sure seems like it in the beginning.
It'll get better...and soon enough...your husband won't pay much attention
to the scar..he'll be too busy checking out your sexy new body!
— Sharon_Cauthen
July 8, 2001
I'm wondering what kind of a "selfish jerk" would tell his wife
that. I would love a woman whether she had scar(s) or not! It's the person
inside who counts more than the physical. He should love you enough to want
whatever it is you need to make you healthy. He sounds like a real loser.
— Danmark
July 9, 2001
wow, what an unbelievable response. I thank you all for the insight. My
husband is not a jerk, he is just having a hard time I'm sure
understanding. He comes from a genetically "skinny" family, and
has gained about 5 pounds in the 4 1/2 years we've been married. I am
addicted to this sight, it is so informational, and helpful. I have a
meeting with (hopefully) my surgeon's nurse on July 27th, so I hope all
goes well...I am so excited..Thank you all again.
— NICOLE W.
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