Question:
Relationship with Hubby Post WLS

How will my relationship be with my husband after I have my wls on Aug. 5th. He is overweight and has bad eating habits,much like me. Thanks to this journey, I'm learning to change that. He has been very supported and tries really hard not to expose me to his continued bad habits. Sometimes it annoys me when he eats junk or eat when he's not hungry. I have a fear that I will be worst after surgery. I really want to show him the same grace he show me when we go walking together(his slow walk is my fast walk)Help!!    — Chub-Rub (posted on July 17, 2009)

July 17, 2009
I can tell you about my husband and myself. He is 6' 4" and weighs 320lbs (or he did) but because of his height he carries it well. He does not eat right either. I had the surgery and am changing the way I eat and believe it or not he is pretty much eating what I eat at least at home. He has actually lost weight. I wondered if it would bother me if he ate fast food etc after I had the surgery but you know what it hasn't. And we don't eat it anymore at home because I cook more now and I cook better food. I want him to eat better and be healthy but just like with me or anyone else who wants to lose weight and change you can not impose your habits on them. They have to want to change too, and until they do you can't really help other than to be a role model and an example. Once he sees how much more energy you have and how much better you feel and look maybe that will be the nudge he needs to change his way of eating and looking at food. And he may end up doing it anyway and not even realize he is eating better and taking better care of himself. Concentrate on you right now and everything else may fall right into place. Best of luck to you.....Donna
   — gonnabethinfinally

July 17, 2009
Thanks, that really made me feel better, that's why I LOVE OH!!!!!
   — Chub-Rub

July 18, 2009
hi i had my surgery on 2/19. my husband has never been obese. before i had my surgery he weighed 177 so for his height he was like 20lbs overweight. he did have very bad eating habits and never worked out. I told him that he had managed to stay slim because he was young and the weight would eventually catch up with him. Well since I've had my surgery he hardly eats out because I cook. He eats less because he feels bad eating in front of me and he always takes his lunch to work instead of buying out. So he eats better and saves us $$. Since he's seeing me loose weight he's also started working out and lifting weights. He now weighs 161. He's lost like 16lbs. I think it's natural that if you have a supportive and loving spouse they will start to have a healthier lifestyle when you get healthier. It's great. Good luck to you.
   — alojah82

July 19, 2009
My hubby is also over weight. He should have the surgery but does not want to. At first he put on weight finishing my food after surgery. Now he is losing weight. He prepares a meal for him. I eat a little and he eats what is left. Works for us. He is down 17 lb in the past three months. It will be an adjustment for both of you. You must accept you can not make decisions for him. I know I see how people around me eat and it makes me shake my head now. I see it all so differant. I am careful not to say a word about it. It would not help only cause bad feelings. he has learned not to tell me what to not eat or to eat. He was trying to "help" and driving me nuts for a while. It is all good now. You and your hubby will work it all out. It is good he is supportive of the process.
   — trible