Question:
DO YOU FIND THAT YOUR CLOSEST FAMILY MEMBER IS YOUR BIGGEST CREDIC??

MY SISTER AND I ARE BEST FRIENDS, WE LOOK LIKE TWINS BUT WE ARE FOUR YEARS APART. SHE IS HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME WITH ME HAVING THIS SURGERY. WE GOT FAT TOGETHER,I SAID LETS LOOSE TOGETHER FOR GOOD. SHE INSISTS THAT I CAN DO THIS ON MY OWN.BUT WE HAVE BEEN GYM,DIETING ALL OF ARE LIVES AND WE ARE STILL HEAVWEIGHTS..SHE KEEPS MAKING COMENTS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE SAYING YOU WONT BE ABLE TO DO THIS..HOW CAN I HELP HER SEE SHE CAN DO THIS TO. AND TO BE SUPPORTIVE??? I LOVE HER DEARLY AND NOTHING WILL STOP ME ..MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN GREAT. HE AND MY SON ARE MY SUPPORT. BUT MY SISTER AND I ARE SO CLOSE..I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO COME BETWEEN US>>    — LISA M. (posted on November 1, 2003)

October 31, 2003
Let me first say that I too am extremely close with my family as well. It's Mom,Dad, my sister, and I. They all 3 were very worried about me getting this done. But to be honest even though they felt this way in my heart I knew it was the right thing the only thing that I could do to save my life. There are times in our lives when we cannot be bothered by what others are feeling and thinking. Just ask that your sister understand that you love her and you want the closeness you have now but that this is something you have to do to give yourself a chance at a new life. You can count on this your sister loves you very much and as much as she may not admit this she is scared for you more than jealous. Just love her and let her love you. Together you will be find the courage to get through anything. I don't know what I would do without my sister. She is my best friend. Let me tell you this. My father is was against this surgery went through it with me, watched me lose weight, get healthier, get happier etc. It's funny coming from the man who said I would never do this. Well on July 25th he did it too. So we both now go through this journey together. Luckily for my mom and sis they don't have to consider the surgery since they are both pretty thin anyhow! (boogers) I wish you nothing but the best of luck. Your husband and son sound wonderful. They love you now and will love the new you even more. Please read my profile if you get the chance.
   — Kitty Kat

October 31, 2003
My wife Jen wasnt into WLS either at first. Get the surgery for YOURSELF, then she may decide to follow along like my wife did after seeing my success. I have some close friends and family who need WLS, but it has TO BE THEIR INDIVIDUAL DECISION.
   — bob-haller

October 31, 2003
As far as being a critic, I haven't had much of that problem with family members. I have had a little of that from people who "heard" I had the surgery to lose weight.
   — raye

October 31, 2003
My baby brother and I are 10 months apart (Irish twins they always called us)... he works with a sweet little gal that had the surgery about 3 years ago, she lost 120 pounds and gained back 180 in that time... he thinks I'll do the same... he's tough, and he's rude about it sometimes. Right now I am pregnant and that doesn't make him happy either... he was scared he'd lose me, and he hasn't, he's scared I'll disappoint myself and others, and I have not (yet)... anyway I know he loves me and just wants the best... perhaps that's all your sister wants... by the way my brother has had much success with his Atkin's stuff, good for him, but this has worked for me. I had RNY 7/18/02 and am down 140 pounds, like I said I am pregnant, but my surgeon said I still have a nice window of opportunity to lose more... we'll see. It's all about me, and I now have a great tool I did not have before. I can eat less, now I have to make wiser choices as to what I do with that tool, fill it with a snicker bar, or a piece of boiled chicken... it's all up to me now... you'll be fine with this...best of luck.
   — MF

November 1, 2003
When I told my sister about my surgery she e-mailed me every negative thing you could ever hope to hear. She's a self proclaimed expert on wls because of the "gobs of people she knows that have had it done". I was warned that if I didn't die on the table I would probably live on the toilet for the rest of my life! Post op she never called or even inquired if I lived through it. So I know how hurt you're feelig. At least you and your sister are close. You'll probably never convince her so just keep loving her.
   — Denise W.

November 2, 2003
Maybe your sister is worried that she won't have someone to share all those forbiden foods with after the surgery or the social aspect behind it.. or maybe she is worried she will have to face her own failed diet attempts when you start losing. It might not hurt to have a heart to heart talk with her and just tell her you need her support more than ever and that you don't want this to come in between your special relationship together but that you have chosen this for yourself. I have friends that I am very close to and have known all my life like a sister, that weren't supportive at first. It took me laying down the law so to speak and letting them know that this is what I was going to do no matter what.. and even getting a little angry before they would stop and take it seriously. I told them I'm doing this with or without you... I would prefer with you. Point out some other things you two share other than food.. things that will not change after surgery that you will be able to do. Who knows maybe your sister will decide to do the surgery herself after she sees how successful you are... how great you look and feel. Also you could try to invite her to an apt with your surgeon or a support group to get her more involved.
   — Christine S.

November 2, 2003
When I first told my dad he acted the same way, I don't know why I guess fear is probably the most likely factor. He had 1001 ways I could do this without surgery, but yet he is still 100lbs over weight himself. Finally I told him I was tired of arguing with him and stopped calling him, my grandma stepped in and told him again how I felt then my surgery day came and once it was all done he hasn't been negative since. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SIS! Just remember she loves you so much!
   — Saxbyd

November 3, 2003
Hi lisa!!! I totally had this problem. But i had total support from all brothers and sisters, it was the in-laws that had bad info. My husbands family would say, what about your kids, and he likes you the way you are, and i would say, Yes, but i don't like the way I am!! And my brothers wife would say, oh thats not for you, and i would say Do you know how much i weigh? and she'd tell me well so and so died from that, or so and so had problems, and only really fat people do that. But i would just say back that being over 100lbs more than your supposed to be will kill you alone from clogged artery's or heart attacks. So you just do what you need to do! I'm proud i did it. I've lost about 29 lbs since surgery on 9-12-03 and to some it would seem slow, but i couldn't have lost it on my own. And i can run outside with my 2 boys that i live for!!! Good luck!!!!!
   — Lynne W.