Question:
Lost my pet- what to do besides eat?
Had Lap-Band Sept.2007. Have been doing pretty well- lost about 85 pounds. Yesterday I had to put my beautiful 14 year old dog to sleep. What to do besides eat for comfort?- Marlayna — MWiley (posted on July 23, 2008)
July 22, 2008
sorry for your loss. They are truly members of our family. Why not get a
new puppy? try petfinder.com you can enter the breed, size, age and sex you
prefer, and your zip code. It searches shelters, and rescue groups. You can
save a life, and get a new family member. Its terrible how many are killed
yearly just for lack of a home.....
— bob-haller
July 22, 2008
Marleyna, I just lost my pet over the 4th of July weekend. He had been a
member of our family since his birth, almost 17 years ago, we also had his
mother.... very sad. And people suggest to get other dogs/puppies... they
simply can't be replaced...I dont have a solution... just wanted you to
know I am sad for you as I have recently experienced same. Good luck and
congrats on your weight loss! wow. :-) God Bless you.
— 502Laxi
July 23, 2008
Please do not get a new dog for several weeks. Give yourself to grieve
over this one. DON'T EAT~~~PRAY. That is the best advice I can offer. It
helps. Food will hurt in the long run. Lyn
— SkinnyLynni2B
July 23, 2008
This isn't going to be the politically correct answer but when my dog of 14
years, my wonderful Alaskan Malamute, died, I used barbiturates. They are
anti-depressant and just helped me handle the grief. It was big and black
and I felt better immediately.
— GaryLGreen
July 23, 2008
Get a new pet, that need rescue. There are so many of them. cats, dogs.
You can not replace a lost pet, but you can give a one that does need home
- a safe and happy place to live.
— H.A.L.A B.
July 23, 2008
Marlayna, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for your loss. I have to
disagree with the advice to get another pet. You need to grieve for this
family member before adding another. Try journaling all your feelings and
favorite memories. Pray. STAY AWAY FROM THE KITCHEN as much as possible.
Nothing you can put in your mouth will bring back your beloved pet. Just
take the time to go through the process and FEEL the feelings. I know they
are painful, and that we are normally accustomed to stuffing our feelings
back with food and self-torture. You don't want to keep going down those
roads. You CAN get through this ... it's just going to be rough for a
little while. Stay strong!
— Cindy E.
July 23, 2008
Marlayna,I lost my faithful friend of 15 years in Oct. I was so sad ,but I
wouldn't rush into another dog my husband felt so bad because I was
"so damn sad" that he adopted a new friend for us. Took me a
while to adjust to him, but eventually I did, now I love him just as much.
I found it was very healing to cry , sad to say but I cried every day for a
long time. I made a collage with just his pictures. Slide show of him on my
computer. I just needed to get it out of my system. I am glad I didn't hold
it in. Crying is very cleansing, I think holding it in would cause it to
come out elsewhere like over eating. Go for a walk ,remember your
"friend" loved you too he wouldn't want you to sit around and be
sad . He is in Heaven now and as happy as he ever was. Minus any ailments
he might have had before his passing. Take Care and feel better soon. Pam
— sunnie
July 23, 2008
I am sooo sorry for your loss! I had to put my beautiful dog Georgia to
sleep a couple of months ago. Her arthritis got bad and she was in pain, I
couldn't stand seeing her like that. It had to be done. I swear I cried
more with her death than some members of the human race. I'm tearing up
right now just thinking about it. I have her ashes in an urn on a shelf
right behind my recliner so she keeps watch over me all of the time which
is how it was in real life. She protected me and was no further than 3
feet away from me for 14+ years. I really think about her on days like
today... thunderstorms in Florida. Her nickname was 'thundermutt".
She would freak out an hour before bad weather and was our early warning
detection device. We had to medicate her every summer.
It was so strange, I hadn't been to the bathroom alone in 14 years and it
got so quiet, no more clackity clack on our hardwood floors. Everyone said
to get a puppy, I have no desire.
Now, how to deal with it.... avoid the kitchen, call friends and family and
cry and talk it out. Medicating with food will not bring the dog back,
will just bring you more pain and weight to lose in the long run. Just
make a commitment to not go there and don't. Get out of the house, keep
yourself busy. Go ahead and grieve for your loss, just try hard to do it
in a positive way.
Good luck and sorry for your loss,
Dawn Vickers, RN, BLC, CLC
— DawnVic
July 23, 2008
Aww...Big hugs...I cannot imagine losing my dog, who is like a child to
me...My heart goes out to you. All I can think of is just get out of the
house and maybe take up a hobby like scrapbooking family photos (That will
bring back the past of good memories so you don't have to think so hard
about right now) or a class or paint a room or two to keep you busy for
now...because only time can ease that kinda pain...and the faster it goes,
the faster that sharp edge of pain subsides...
Big bear hugs, you poor thing!
— .Anita R.
July 23, 2008
You poor thing. My dog is my best friend, I can only imagine how bad you
feel. Just take it easy. Take some walks, you don't want to forget him, he
gave you many years of pleasure. I suggest getting a new puppy and having
all that fun again. Good Luck.
— pugsley101
July 23, 2008
Thank you all for your kind words- they mean more than I can say. Knowing
there are such caring people out there makes this time more bearable. Hugs
to all- Marlayna
— MWiley
July 23, 2008
Maybe do something to honor your dog like volunteer to walk/play with the
dogs at the animal shelter, make a small memorial garden in your yard where
you can go to relax while thinking of him or also make an album of photos
to keep the happy memories close to your heart instead of the pain.
— Lauren003
July 23, 2008
I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through the same thing last fall with my
13 year old lab. I found comfort in making up a memorium for her-planting
flowers and a marker in the garden, making up a photo album, etc. Good luck
to you. (Rescuing a new lab puppy helped the most!)
— marciamak
July 23, 2008
Hi Marlayna, I am sorry for your loss. Wls is as much a head issue as it
is a body issue. I understand your struggle, and anyone who loses weight
and keeps it off understands the lust for food for comfort. What I did was
find distractions to overcome the anxiety of eating and the lust for food.
I walked twice a day, so if I did eat more than I should that I was
exercising and building my metabolism as well. I drank more fluids,
especially water, and stayed away from pop. For me, I read by Bible and
prayed, it is the main course of my day, and when I miss my main course in
God's Word, I miss my strength for the day. Hope this helps. Take care.
Patricia P.
— Patricia P
July 24, 2008
We also put our elderly dog, Steffy, to sleep on the 4th of July. (Owning
an appliance store we get those rare days off...) I busied myself working
in the yard the entire day, cried on and off, but worked my tail end off. I
often turn to physical work to displace stress, sadness, or anger. The
other thing that always helps me with grief is to comfort someone else. You
might visit a retirement home and just sit and talk with some residents
about pets they remember. It would help both you and them heal. Just a
thought.
— Ruth Shapovalov
July 24, 2008
Dear Marlayna,
I am so sorry for the loss of your dog. I know your heart must be
breaking. Most of the advice noted so far is good, yes, let yourself
grieve before getting another dog. Maybe another one will come into your
life when it's time. I agree that seeing a therapist or just plain talking
to people who understand will help work through your feelings without
turning to food for comfort. Maybe your PCP can give you a short term
prescription as one poster said. Feel free to write me anytime.
Again, so sorry for your loss,
Mary
— Mary H.
July 24, 2008
I am so sorry you that you lost someone so close. Grief is grief no matter
a person or animal. Knowing that you have the right to cry and be sad is a
start. Food can't take that away, it is just a process. You will know what
will work for you but consider something positive like volunteering
somewhere. Maybe go to a Convalescent home and read to some folks who are
unable or go to the animal shelter and help walk the dogs for a hour. You
don't have to spend much time doing this but it may fill your heart with
some happiness that your dog gave you. Just some thoughts....I wish you the
best.
— pjlewis1
July 24, 2008
Oh Sweetie, Like some of the others here, I've also lost a pet. It wasn't
recent, but I do remember the pain. I am so sorry for your loss. When
Pepper died, I didn't handle it well at all. I was already clinically
depressed and heavily medicated. I wasn't doing well at all and I DID eat
to dull the pain. It wasn't pretty.
You have the opportunity to handle your grief better than I did. Someone
close to me also lost a pet recently and what she is doing is making a
scrapbook using photos of her pet and writing "journal" entries
of her memories to go along with the photos. There are quite a few
tear-stained entries but she knows it's okay to feel those feelings.
In my case, I wasn't ready for a very long time to get another dog, but
once you are strong enough to do so, perhaps you might consider
volunteering a couple hours a week at the local Humane Society as a way of
honoring the memory of you pet. If you chose to be a dog walker, you could
interact with some new dogs in a way that does not attempt to replace your
pet and even get a bit of exercise.
I'm sure if you put your mind to the task, you will be able to imagine a
project that will help you deal with your grief.
I wish you all the best.
— Tina G.
July 24, 2008
We all know the pain you are in if we are pet owners or lovers. The best I
can offer is to pray and ask for help to get through these tough times.
Remember food of the wrong kind will in the end, only make you feel worse.
Good luck and God Bless.
— Ira Sansolo
July 24, 2008
FIrst of , I know what you are going through and really feel for you and
your loss. I am so glad you asked about eating, emotional eating, because
it shows you WANT to do the right thing. You and I both know eating won't
really help, it will just make you feel worse and be possibly damamging.
There is a lot of good advice above . Give yourself permission to cry,
mourn, and look through all of the pictures, etc. Maybe make a scrapbook,
or frame a favorite. Walk- if you hate walking, go to the mall and make
your self walk around each floor ((window shopping). If you feel ready,
look at dogs, puppies. Volunteer for a rescue and walk dogs, too. They
could use your help! Call a friend, write a poem, about your doggie.
Anything that keeps you sane! Take care and re read all the above entries
when you need a lift, too! Look how many people responded! Best wishes,
Vic
— vippie
July 24, 2008
I am so sorry for your loss. I am a an avid dog lover and I know how you
feel. I do agree that sometime in the future a rescue dog will help but
please allow yourself time to grieve. Best of luck to you and maybe call
your dr and try some xanax for a short period of time.
— bikermama
July 24, 2008
Our neighbor had a dog they couldnt keep, it appears we have a new #4 dog,
gizzy. He is still a puppy, and is very loud, and driving our other dogs
nuts.
— bob-haller
July 24, 2008
This poem has always helped me when we lose one of our awesome dogs. I hope
it brings you comfort as well.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that
pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run
and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and
comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor;
those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we
remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each
miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops
and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body
quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green
grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet,
you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy
kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and
you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from
your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
— Shy777
July 24, 2008
Walk walk walk! When upset replace your eating with walking. Then think
of all the good times only - stay positive. Your longtime friend wouldnt
only want peace and happiness for you.
— C-There
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