Question:
Eating at dinner is difficult with family. I must be eating too fast. Any tips ?

I have 2 adult children and granddaughter living with me and it gets to be stressful. I don't think I'm eating too fast but before I know it, I'm running for the bathroom.    — nanaontheloose (posted on February 1, 2008)


January 31, 2008
I find that if I put my fork down and do something else--read something, engage in a conversation, attend to a child, get up and go to the bathroom, whatever, and MAKE myself take breaks in between, then it goes well. Yes, your food might get cold, but it is better to eat cold food than to be sick. I especially do these things if I really let myself get too hungry and then I want to eat fast because I'm hungry. I just "pace" myself. I hope this works for you. Good luck!
   — ALafferty

January 31, 2008
I understand totally. It takes time to master the new skill of eating. Good advice to take the breaks in between bites. It will take time to master, dont beat yourself up. Remember we are in a total life change, learning from scratch on how to take proper care of ourselves. Fall down, get back up, repeat. lol, how it feels to me. I wish you the best in your adventure. I love you guys!
   — Kathy-R

January 31, 2008
Your meals shouldn't last more than 30 minutes...so taking breaks could make that time too long... Chewable papaya has enzymes that help break down meats...chew one of those after eating solid proteins like beef and pork and chicken. They help with the pain but don't eat more than 2 or three, they are naturally sweet. You might take your meal up to your room and find a quiet place with some soft music where you can concentrate on your eating style without all the drama and stress and energy teens bring to any scene! haha...I have two teens.
   — .Anita R.

January 31, 2008
They are both absolutely correct. I do the same thing, I get involved in a family conversation and eat to quickly and then I am running to the toilet to vomit. Have to keep my mind on eating so I take it slow and easy. By the way, I am three months out from RNY. Its getting better and better all the time, just takes time to learn new eating skills. Good Luck!!! PatriciaAE
   — PatriciaAE

January 31, 2008
You'll find you're not alone with this issue. We're so use to just eating normally, swallowing more than we should, scarfing down our food because we either have to run somewhere or we have someone trying to carry on a conversation with us, that we lose our concentration. I discovered this that first two months after my surgery. I barely chewed my food if my 3 year old was around, as I was trying to eat and keep tabs on him, or my husband would be chatting with me and I'd get something stuck and would have to stop and go to the bathroom to get it out....by throwing it up. I have since given my husband instructions to talk to me when I'm not eating...unless he absolutely has to. I am a very conscious eater now. I now take the time to be very aware of the size of bites I take, using toddler fork/spoon, (which my son fights me for...smile...he thinks they are his) and I chew chew chew. Putting down your silverware between bites too. I also never drink with a meal....that's a big no no. It keeps you from feeling full, and when I have ever slipped up and drank even the tiniest of sips of water, I ended up getting something stuck. I eat 40 minutes after I've drank anything, I don't drink with my meals, and I wait 40 minutes after my meal to even sip on anything. It's difficult as I was an eater, drinker, eater, drinker. I still struggle with the desire to drink immediately after a meal. I always feel so thirsty. I know though, that if I drink, I'll be hungry again soon after and then will over-eat. So many rules, but they are worth following. Just make sure you take that time out for yourself to have your meals. Even if at first it means letting them all eat and you go off on your own and have your meal. I know it's not very conducive to family life, but in the beginning it may be necessary. In time you'll get use to the chaos around you and will be better able to concentrate. Best of luck to you.... you'll get the hang of it in no time! Hugs....Cheryl
   — Cheryl K.

February 1, 2008
Well I have the same problem. The last several days at my house have been super stressful with my 84 year old mother verbally attacking everything I say and do. I take one or two bites and that is the end of it. The food gets stuck and the pain starts. It takes about 15 minutes for the tiny bit of food that I did chew to settle into my stomach. The lap band is a great tool I just need to not eat around the people that upset me. Take care and God bless you.
   — cleofet

February 1, 2008
I have 2 children ages 3 1/2 & 2. I have found that eating at the same time is impossible for my pouch to handle, unfortunately. I still enjoy the sit down family meal with them but usually have a protein drink or water with them. When they are occupied after dinner I usually eat while cleaning up and making lunches. I'm sure my Mom is looking down yelling as she always said "sit down to eat". I find that because I'm doing something besides just eating I don't eat to fast or too much. Good luck.
   — Shatcher

February 1, 2008
I have the same problem. It was explained to me that the stomache is a muscle, and it reacts to stress like any other muscle- it tenses up. I have decided that I have to eat before or after them. I sit with them and talk while they eat. I know it's not the best solution, but it works- Marlayna
   — MWiley

February 2, 2008
Hi Joan, you ask a good qustion. I am 4 years out, but here is what worked for me. I would eat with my family until I didn't like the smell of the food or got full. Then I went to my room, and the family had to clean up the table and kitchen. I made the meal, but they had to finish the clean up. I couldn't stand to see food after I ate for many months. You need to talk with your adult children and live ins. They either support your needs here, or they need to find another location to live. I know that sounds tough, and we want to help our kids, but if they are living on your property, they have an obligation to be supportive and contribute to the "family". You are probably not eating too fast, but when I eat with friends or family I am not used to, I tend to try and consume more than I can without thinking. I get talking and distracted and eat too much or don't chew well enough. You have to find a way to make peace in your own home. I have three boys, ages 24, 21 and 17, all live at home (the 21 yo is in school, so he is at home on school breaks). But if they don't contribute to the family and do their part to help support the family, the open door mission is a better option for them. I am all about family, but I am not the only one that needs to sacrifice and contribute. That is just wrong. I don't pretend to know your family or why you are caring for two adults and a grandchild. You deserve a metal for your support. I just say these things to let you know that this is YOUR home, and you have to obligation and privilege to make it run smooth. If they don't like the rules, they have other options. They may not like their options, but the choice is theirs. And yours. Take care. Patricia P.
   — Patricia P




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