Question:
Did you/do you have to do any grief or forgiveness work?
This is a side-shoot from my posted answer to Jo Anne's posting on Emotional Issues: Counseling 09/24/99: Hi. I don't know what is usually done for post-ops (I'm still pre-op; pre-consult, in fact), but I know what I'd welcome: Grief/Forgiveness work for myself as my body changes. I think it's important, because I believe that in order for us to heal completely, we also need to grieve the loss of the "old" person, including the weight, which for some of us provided a safety net as well as major health hazards. With that in mind comes the forgiveness work. To forgive one's self for having an illness, for becoming and remaining fat for so long, for isolating one's self from life, etc., etc. I know that in the past, whenever I lost major amounts of weight, I felt like I also lost myself. I think the post-op therapeutic support would be at least as important as the pre-op support. Just my $0.05. (inflation, you know. :) ) — kmcgarghan (posted on September 24, 1999)
September 25, 1999
Many surgeons are associated with Psychologists and counsellors and/or have
support groups to help the post-op patients deal with these issues. I
agree 100% that it is SO important to follow-up with counselling to help
deal with the issues. I didn't need to morne or forgive myself, as I feel
this is a disease, not a character defect that I couldn't control. But
when my body started changing and I no longer recognized the person staring
back at me in the mirror, I did need to work out those issues. I've never
been a "normal" weight for my age and height so I had/have no
idea what to expect as the changes occur. Good Luck in your journey! Keep
us posted!
— Sherrie G.
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