Question:
Do you miss eating out?

My wife and I enjoy one or two nites out with our kids every week.It has ALWAYS included a restaurant meal. We were never gluttonous in our outings. But I feel as if this major pleasure in my life may need to come it an end. I honestly do not know if I can find something of equal pleasure. I look so forward to relaxing around dinner with my kids. We are a very tight family. Any suggestions?    — ButterBall (posted on January 27, 2009)


January 26, 2009
Hi Peter...I had RNY in April 2008 and I still enjoy eating out. However, it is very rare that I do that, maybe once a month. You can still go out to eat, but choose places that will have good options for you. There are some locations that offer a wide variety of low fat options. And depending on the type of procedure you are having, you won't be able to consume much anyway. Just be cautious of the things that you do, but still enjoy the things you had before. Plus, now you won't spend as much eating out! :-)
   — Brandy H.

January 26, 2009
I am almost 4 yrs post op and I go out to eat..... I'm not sure I understand your question??? You can still eat after surgery you just may need to take a doggie bag home with ya. Our family is a very tight family also. You just might not be able to eat as much but you can still eat. Jeannie
   — jjeanniespets1

January 26, 2009
I rarely eat out since my RNY some 32 months ago. On the few times I do, I do one of two things. I split the meal with my wife, or make my order, and immediately ask for a "to go box", leaving the portion of the meal I know I can eat (mostly protein) on the plate, and boxing the remainder for a meal the next day. Modifications in your lifestyle are one of the byproducts of any weight loss surgery. DAVE
   — Dave Chambers

January 26, 2009
Hi Peter, I am 4 weeks post op., I took my husband to Lone Star Steak house for his birthday on Saturday night. He didn't want to go because he knew I could not eat what they had. I told him now we are going and I will just order a baked Sweet potatoe with no butter or brown sugar. It was hard not to have a roll, but I ate a few croutons from my husbands salad and about 1/2 of my sweet potatoe. I survived and it was not as bad as I thought it would be. You cannot stop living your life, because of this surgery. This is a new life for you, just do as I did. You can do it, because like everyone says you cannot eat the stuff they have even if you wanted to. You just have to be strong and continue enjoying all you do. We even went to a movie after dinner and I have never been to a movie without getting popcorn with lots and lots of butter. Well I did this time, we took water in to drink and had no popcorn. We just enjoyed the movie. So, you can still do it. Just takes some will power. No one could have enjoyed eating more than me, but I have accepted this as my new life style and I do not expect everyone else to quit eating just because I do. I still want to enjoy going out to eat, even if I cannot eat all I did at one time. Do not stop your outings with your family, accept your new life with less food and allow your family to enjoy what they always have. My prayers are with you as with all the others here. We all need to pray for each other, this is really a complete life style change and some of us may not have expected this drastic change when we decided to have this surgery. But I for one, know we all will be able to look back in 3 to 6 months and say it was all worth it to loose the excess weight and become healthy once again, so we can enjoy our family for year, and years to come. God Bless you. - Teresa
   — tkilpatrick

January 26, 2009
Why would you think you couldn't go out to eat? DH and I go out all the time and it's no problem. You just have to make good choices. After all, all restaurants have protein on the menu! And I always have leftovers for at least 1 more meal. You will just be getting healthier so you have more years with your family!
   — GlitterGal

January 26, 2009
Peter, someone might ask if your dinner's "okay", mostly the waitstaff, but you may have already put them in the know by flashing a WLS card. (I'm all about getting a discount!!) You're going to eat slowly, chew at least adequately, put your utensil down between every bite, and enjoy your family and the conversations more than ever.
   — jjames-thomas

January 26, 2009
I have VBG on 03/04/08, and I've passed my goal of 100 lbs. I don't go out to restaurants as often as I used to, but that's due more to economics than restricted eating. I do still go out--I just have to think a bit more about what I order. No more pasta- or rice-based meals. I try to order things I know I can take home and reheat later. I avoid ordering things that are fried or otherwise bad for me--but we should be doing that anyway, right? You need to learn to pace yourself--take a bite, lay the fork down, take your time chewing, enjoy the conversation. Ask right away for a take-out container, and set aside what you want to take home, so you aren't tempted to nibble too long at the table. Yes, you need to relearn how to eat, but don't let it stop you from enjoying life. It doesn't need to.
   — suezahn4me

January 26, 2009
Oh, and nothing against the suggestion of sweet potato and a few croutons at a steakhouse, but I would recommend not denying yourself anything you really want and can tolerate. The protein from a couple of bites of well-chewed steak, or maybe ham squares, cheese, or hardboiled egg from a salad, might be advisable to try. My attitude has always been if you really want to taste that French chocolate silk pie your nephew ordered, ask him for a small bite. My experience is that you'll be satisfied with just that bite. You won't feel denied, and he won't mind a bit.
   — jjames-thomas

January 27, 2009
You know, eating out is a big event in our family as well. I had to tell my family that I couldn't always partake. It had to be me that put my foot down. Even though I wanted to change my life, I couldn't make them. Then it came to the point that I was missing out on being with my family. I couldn't be afraid of food. I had to make good choices. So instead of eating what everyone else was eating, and it wasn't easy, I had to eat either less of it, or more healthy choices. I don't go out to eat much. Thankfully, I don't live near my family...well at least in that respect or I would gain all my weight back. I eat a lot of fruit, yogurt and cottage cheese, though I stick to fat free milk products only. You can splurge once in awhile, and I even have chocolate occasionally, though it gets stuck so only a bite here and there. When I feel full, I quit. That is the key. Don't eat just because its there. When I go out to eat, I take home what I don't eat. I can usually get at least 3 meals out of 1. I do like that. Enjoy yourself, but enjoy your new life. Try new foods. New places, red meat is hard for me to digest so I don't eat it anymore or if I do...a bite lasts a long long time. Some things you will find are worth giving up.
   — janeyleaj2

January 27, 2009
Split a meal with your wife or eat a bowl of soup. My husband and I share meals if we can agree on something. If not I usually have soup. We eat out at least 2 nights a week.
   — Carlyn M.

January 27, 2009
Peter, I have to agree with the rest of the posters here. Going out to eat with your family does not have to come to an end simply because of this change in your life. You can find things suitable to yourself as far as eating goes and enjoy the atmosphere and time with your family. You could also include a family fun night in place of one of the restraunt nights and perhaps go bowling, to a movie, etc. Food doesnt control you, you control food!! :-)
   — Elizabeth J.

January 27, 2009
I didn't go out much my first two years...but when I did, I'd order an appetizer (shrimp usually or a bowl of chili or soup)...or eat off my families plates. After a while I began to eat enough that no one wanted to share with me anymore and began telling me to get my own food! LOL So now I go to my fav restaurants because I know the menu and know what to order...If not you can get online and look at a menu of most chain restaurants and some local ones too...I get an idea of what I will order...I get my drink to go so I can sip on it in the car ride home or after we walk around a bit...(we usually walk around window shopping after eating out to digest) I cannot finish a meal anywhere when we are out...I always take leftovers and eat for lunch or dinner...Or someone eats it. Eating a hearty meal on occasion is good to boost the metabolism...Don't be afraid to eat...Just choose wisely and follow the rules...You will be distracted from totally enjoying your family because you will need to focus on eating as well...But you will master it like second nature after some time. Learning to cook gourmet healthy food is also sooooo rewarding...we pull out the good china and eat in the dinning room with candlelight and even sparling cider for the younguns! And a little wine for the elders.. LOL THEY LOVE IT! You can make it a new favorite thing to do...Especially if they show any interest in helping cook with you...Pealing veggies or making the salad...Then you can make classic culinary meals using all healthy foods and ingredients that suit your new lifestyle. It's a little work rather than total relaxation, but the rewards are plenty and it hardly seems like work when you are all enjoying each other's company and laughter and talk...and the amibience of a meal that you all made together and made beautiful. You can all talk about what meals you'd order out ...go get all the ingredients fresh and just make it together! I absolutely LOVE cooking now and I have become quite an incredible cook as did my 22 year old son...He is in the army and now cooks for his roomate and friends! He bought himself a little electric grill and for chritmas I made him a recipe book of his favorite meals so he can make them! My daughter went to culinary classes and is now a cook herself in an upscale market place...So food does not have to be the enemy! Learn to make it healthy, beautiful and a family event that is special and uniquely...your own! If not...you do not have to stop eating out at restaurants... Just order according to your WLS rules...and only sample the "other" stuff...You know what those are! ;) Good luck!
   — .Anita R.

January 27, 2009
Why not change it up and do a family game night with snacks, mostly healthy ones. Then you can interact with the kids and wife and not have the focus on food.
   — queenbrandy

January 27, 2009
Peter, You can still go out to eat; just choose healthy alternatives. Instead of onion rings eat a little extra salad; just an example but I'm sure you understand what I mean. Don't deprive your family of your company and special time with them. Good Luck and God Bless, vinnigirl, retired RN
   — vinnigirl

January 27, 2009
Peter, I am 4 yrs post op and go out to eat all the time. Normally, my husband orders a meal and I order a small plate. This saves on $$ and food, and has helped him drop a few too. If there is something I am just dying for I ask for a to go box and take it to work for lunch the next day. Don't deprive yourself, just learn to use your new tool. CiCi2004
   — CiCi2004

January 27, 2009
You should use your new healthier eating habits as an example to your familly. After all, my guess is you don't want them to go thru the same things you might have. I go out to eat all the time. I ususally order from the kids menue or just ask for a box when i get my food and split my meal for left-overs. I have even been out to buffetes with my husband and I show them the card my surgeon gave me. They just charge for kids rate or give me a deep discount. When I go to these places I use a small plate and only make one trip. Remember protein first and chew well. Stay away from potatoes, breads and pastas and you can have a successful dining out experience. Enjoy life and best of luck.
   — maria09elena

January 27, 2009
It ill take time and what you eat will change but there are plenty of good places and choices to make. Eating out is not a thing of the past, its part of the future. It will be something you can look forward to in the first few weeks when you learn to dread pureed everything :) One thing, eat it at home first to be sure you can handle the food before you order it. Nothing is worse than getting sick in public with your family watching after the first two bites of something new. Meatballs out Kill Me but the ones I make at home are perfect (I think it must be a spice I don't use - who knows) but it was odd to make everyone hurry home from our favorite local Italian place.
   — mbrendel

January 27, 2009
Hi Peter, My husband and I love going out to dinner too. You will be able to eat out, but remember that you won't be able to order what you used to order. I kind of like going out for dinner because I always end up with at least one or two meals out of the dinner. Actually I look for things to order that I can take home with me just for that reason. There is one restaurant locally that we went to one night. I ordered a cup of soup of the day, I believe Beef Barley it was, that I wasn't charged for (choice of soup or tomato juice). Then I ordered Shrimp cocktail appetizer for my meal. It was perfect. They served me four jumbo shrimp. No leftovers this night. If we go to somewhere like a chain bar and grill. They have low fat low cal chicken dinners or steak is great cut up the next day with a small salad. Good Luck. The most important thing is to think about the menu at the restaurant and if there are RNY friendly meals go for it, if not find another restaurant. Most restaurants dinners can be manipulated even Italian. Order just meatballs, or lasagna and scrape out the meat and cheese not eating the pasta. Instead of a potato or rice get the veggie of the day. You'll be ok. Have fun. Sue A
   — yankeefan75

January 27, 2009
I had my rn-y in July 2008 and am eating out at restaurants. I eat most of the things that I used to, (except in smaller portions) and still enjoy the pleasure of "going out". Besides, the "doggy bag" is always good for lunch/dinner the next night (BONUS!).
   — pattschiele

January 27, 2009
Of course you'll be able to eat out, just not right away. And slowly, your diet will include more things. It may take a while before you can even just sit with your family while they eat out. I went out with family for pizza about 5 weeks post-op and brought my cottage cheese & protein shake to have while they ate the pizza. I couldn't have managed the jealousy prior to that--I couldn't stand the sight of food that I couldn't have. Anyway, as you can eat more solids, you'll be able to find items at restaurants that are okay to have. Look for low fat soups or chili, or share an entree with one of your kids. Just watch out for high fat, high sugar items if you have RYN.
   — eddyrider3

January 27, 2009
my husband (5/06) and myself (11/06) still go out to eat!! we joke with the waitress and tell her that we are very easy to accomodate -- no bread or water on the table and we will not be ordering drinks -- we may order an app of buffalo wings or something and ask for a to-go box -- then we order our meal and tell them we do not need a salad, just our meal -- i will order something and tell them i do not want the pasta or potato -- just the meat and veggies please -- we go to Outback, Olive Garden, Lonestar -- all without problems -- and we'll do diners for breakfast and order omlettes, eggs and sausage or ham, just no homefries, hash browns, toast or bagels -- we have never had a problem at any place we have been to -- we know what we can do and what we shouldn't do -- we order accordingly :) you will be fine :)
   — RCassety

January 28, 2009
Hi Peter, I am 7 months out and I do go to eat...but I order soup broth almost everywhere I go. At olive garden you get an endless bowl of soup for about 5$ and I order teh zuppa tuscanna and ask for broth only. I usually have a refill or two and then go home to eat my meal. I have tried getting the soup then waiting the 30 mins and getting food, but I rarely do that as I get bored with the food after a leftover meal or two. Also ask your doctors office if they offer the restraunt card. many restraunts take them and it gets you child prices or half sized meals. If you well known someplace, they may make meals and pricing just for you without the card. You will still eat and enjoy going out, it just isn't about the food anymore. The food isn't a pleasure as we knew it before surgery. But certainly the family get togethers and bonding is still an important part of my life as well. I enjoy going out and simply explain to my wait staff that I cannot eat/drink together and that they may think I am a pain, but I have never had a problem. Good luck to you ! hugs,Kim
   — gpcmist

January 28, 2009
I still enjoy eating out with my family. This is our Friday night fun. Eat out and then a movie. Just ask for a small plate and serve yourself from your families plates. You'll have a full meal and still enjoy your tradition of eating out. Planning ahead is a must! I just plan out in my head what I will choose to eat and what I will avoid. Drinking ice cold water makes my pouch smaller so less can fit. Enjoy!!
   — bariatricdivalatina

January 28, 2009
Hi there, You will never have to give up eating out. However, you just have to make different selections than you did before. Nut believe me, you can still eat out. I am almost 1 year out (Feb.5, RNY) and I have eaten out at restaurants since right after surgery. Don't be afraid of losing out on the times with your family because you had surgery. Good luck to you and God Bless! Angie (sillyguts)
   — Sillyguts

February 2, 2009
I go out to eat at least three times a week- ( small town) and the waitress knows what I can have and how I like it prepared so it makes it very easy. I live w/ my parents who are not supportive so I have to be VERY flexable. For example... White Castle, no offense to anyone but there is a reason they are called sliders. I ate two of the patties w/ cheese and without the bun. I think that no matter where you go you can find something to eat. Good luck and enjoy it because it will change your life in many POSITIVE ways. !!
   — *****GIGS *******




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