Question:
Is it normal to be scared even before you have Surgey I am going .

My name is Ruth Rowe I am 68 years old and I am going to a Seminar this Saturday Nov.8 th I am a bit scared I want the surgery but I don't wan't to die either but I am 5'1" tall and I weigh 317 lbs. I have some of the things most Obest People have and I really think My fear of Dieing can be from My weight alone . as right now I have trouble breathing in the day time but I sleep good at night ? am I nuts to be scared or not?    — Ruth Rowe (posted on November 7, 2008)

November 6, 2008
Hi Ruth,
   — Maggie E.

November 7, 2008
Hi Ruth, Well.. me and the computer are having problems this morning.. another try at this! LOL! I am 5'4" and was 287 when I started this process. I had knee problems (needed knee replacement) and was in a wheelchair full time, had sleep apnea, high cholesteral and was testing pre diabetic. I am only 52 years old, but felt 80+ most days! I went to the seminar and thought a lot about both gastric bypass and lap band. I knew people that had done both.. in fact two people from my church had done lap band and had lost some weight initially then gained it back.. but everyone that had done gastric bypass had lost a lot of weight. I have always been able to lose weight (before being confined to a wheelchair), so I figured I would be able to follow a reasonable diet with some help .. my problem is that I could never keep it off. eventually I go back to my old eating habits and with being in the wheelchair i wasn't able to do much as far as exercise. I decided to go with lapband because it's less invasive. They don't have to cut anything.. it basically is just placing a band around the top part of your stomach. It does work.. you do get fuller much faster and don't get hungry as quickly. You can get around it with snacks.. things like crackers or chips or ice cream go through without much problem.. but I was very motivated to lose weight and snacks were never really my problem to start with. I was just so hungry all the time, and if I didn't eat I'd actually get to feeling naseaus.. seems like I ate all the time. Now I can eat my three small meals.. no more getting sick to my stomach from hunger unless i skip a meal and I'm careful not to do that. I am at 175 now, had my knee surgery and am walking again, cholesteral is normal and I'm not testing pre diabetic any longer. My doctor is thrilled! Also recnetly was able to stop using my cpap machine, so looks like my sleep apnea was weight related also. I feel so much better! It is amazing how much energy it takes to carry a hundred or so extra pounds around all day! I can do so much more now.. I even recently bought a small trailer and have started going camping on weekends. I would do it again in a heartbeat (lapband).. only I wish I had done it a year or two sooner... might not have ended up in a wheelchair if I had not waited so long. Anyway.. now I just need to continue to watch what i eat and keep the weight off. But is is a lot easier to do when you are not starving all the time and that is what lap band has been a huge help for me with. My little sister is going to be getting something done in January.. but she is still discussing with her doctor whether to do lap band or gastric bypass. Her problems are a little different than mine so I really urged her very strongly to talk to her doctor about it.. I did not want her to just pick lap band because I had it and it worked for me. So she is discussing it with her doctor. Good luck! Maggie
   — Maggie E.

November 7, 2008
Hello Ruth -- it's absolutely normal to be scared before any surgery at any age. Go to the seminar -- write down your questions and ask them all until you are satisfied. Should you decide to have surgery even at 68 your quality of life will improve tremendously. Ask your surgeons all the questions -- and really in this case -- there are no stupid questions. You want to be an informed patient so you can make the best decision for YOU! One thing -- you don't want a surgeon that performs the surgery by cutting -- you want it done laproscopically. If he/she can't do it that way -- find another surgeon. I'm sure you have been walking when you can -- keep it up -- that definitely helps with recovery. Exercising prior to surgery shrinks the liver so the surgeon's work will be easier and that is why some surgeons place their patients on a diet prior to the procedure. My partner is 5 years post-op October and I'll be 2 years post-op in February (we both had gastric by-pass) and although the fear of dying or losing the weight too fast -- neither of us regret having the procedure. Know that people on this site are pulling for you and are here to support in any way we can. And no you're not nuts to be scared -- I'd be a little concerned if you wasn't.
   — the7thdean

November 7, 2008
It's very normal! I was your weight and a few inches taller...so I know how hard it is to carry that weight! I am near 5 years out now. Now that I've been both MO and thinner, healthier, happier for 5 years now, I can honestly say that if I died tomorrow...It would have been worth not having to live in a 315 lb torture chamber! That's exactly what living in my MO body was to me. Quality of life is soooo much better than quantity of years. I don't think I fully appreciated that until I lost my weight and lived for a few years thin and pain free, medication free, diabetes free, RA free, acid reflux free, sleepful nights, swollen legs free, walking cane free...breathing FREELY.....and the list goes on! I was more afraid of dying MO than I am now. I feel like I could live a great long time...where before I was sure I only had a few years left, none of which would be good, because my problems/health were getting worse and worse! Good luck to you...and I hope you find peace in whatever you decide!
   — .Anita R.

November 7, 2008
Hello Ruth, my hats off to you for taking the steps to improve and prolong your life with WLS, my mom was in her early 60's when she had her gastric bypass, but that was over 12yrs ago, she has done pretty good, although she does have two knee replacements, a shoulder replacement which was done last year, she is now 78yrs old and is still moving around, slower moving, but moving...she swims twice a week or more if she can and tries to keep busy. Any surgery is a risk, even at age 18, but if your health on the whole is good, and have a good mental attitude about having surgery, you will do fantastic. Like the saying goes, it is the quality, not the quanity. I am 58, and am in the early process of getting the lap band done, getting information for my surgeon whom I have already met for the first time. I went to the seminar which was required before seeing the surgeon and I had a list of questions I brought with me and the doctor answered each and everyone of them. That helped me with the decision to have the Realize Lap Band procedure done, not as invasive as gastric. I hope to have it done in janurary, if not sooner. Good luck and best wishes, and try not to worry so much about getting it done, talk with your doctor about your concerns, he is the best one with the answers, he will know what is best for you. Farmgirl58
   — Farmgirl58

November 7, 2008
Like everyone else has told you, it is very normal to be scard and anxious. You are talking a big step just going to the seminar which is a WONDERFUL thing so you can get the information that you need to know what will be right for you. I am a bit taller than you but at 5'7 1/2 " I was 433.4lbs and my primary md told me that with my diabetes, sleep apnea and arthritis I would most likely die in the next 10 years at 60 years old. I felt sooo miserable that I needed to take the risk and chance. If you decide to have surgery, the surgery team will make sure that your heart, lungs, etc are all in good enouigh shape for WLS. Finding a surgeon that has a good reputation will be another way to calm any fears if you decide to have any type of surgery. The best and most successful patient is an informed one. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK QUESTIONS. You are entitiled to know what is possible. Keep us posted and take it at your own speed. We all hope you have the happiness and success that many of us are experiencing!!!!
   — AuntPamcakes4six

November 7, 2008
Hey Ruth, I think it would be nuts if you weren't scared really. WLS was a last ditch effort for me as I was going to die if I didn't do something. I was 402# with a BMI of 71 at age 42 and I had had enough. I decided to take the risk knowing that yes, surgery could kill me, but at least I'd die trying. Anxiety and worry are perfectly normal right up until the second they put you to sleep. Hang in there. Best of luck, Dawn Vickers
   — DawnVic

November 7, 2008
Hi Ruth, I am going on 67 and has my operation when I was going on 65. I cannot tell you weather to have it or not, but I can tell you that if you keep up with the way your weight is right now, you have a chance of dieing. I took the chance and I am doing very well. I also could not walk very well and has diabetic. I lost 147 lbs and feel real good. I also was worried about dieing when I went thru the operation, but I knew that either way it could happen. I hope this can help you in some way. Good luck and hope you can make the right choice for yourself. ~Carol~
   — Carol Giusto

November 7, 2008
Hi! It is human nature to be scared. If you weren't scared to a degree, I'd be worried about that! I had fear of something going wrong too , and leaving behind a husband and 2 children, but I knew that with God's love and grace, this was for me. I prayed alot ahead of time and asked if this was right for me. I lived, so therefore I have to believe it was. lol The morbidity rate is so low these days, with this surgery, that tho there is real reason for concern, staying at a weight that makes you morbidly obese is also a concern. I hope helps you. Pray, pray pray!!! Hugs, Kim
   — gpcmist

November 7, 2008
Hi Ruth, and let me start out by congratulating you on coming to his decision. I was 53 when I had my rny. I was (and still am) 5'1" and I weighed 291. That was 13 months ago and I am now down 106 pounds and loving life. I was afraid too. I had originally wanted the lap band but the doctor said that he thought that I needed the rny since I had so many health problems. That sacred me something terrible. I had never had staples and so it took me a while to come to the decision that I had to do something. Being afaid is just being human. I would be concerned if you were not afraid. I remember going out my front door to go the hospital for the surgery thinking I could do it myself. I don't know what miracle happened during the night to make me be able to do since I had never been able to for the past 53 years. I got to the hospital and things went so fast that I forgot all about it. Everyone was so excited and that just renewed my excitemnet too. I love the forum on here that is called Over Fifties Forum. We call it OFF and I have found my home away from home there. We were all 50 or older when we had our surgery and some were close to 70. You might want to go on there and join us. There is so many knowledgeable people and can answer any questions that you have. Our body is different with some things than someone younger. We understand just what you are going through and offer help, support and unconditional love to all. We are sometimes hard to find but we are worth the time to find. I hope to see you soon and you can pull up a comfy chair and join us in our chats. We would love to have you become a menber of our OFF family.
   — Brenda R.

November 8, 2008
Hi Ruth, I agree with other ladies that I would be concerned if you weren't a little nervous about surgery. It is major surgery. That being said, I would do it over again in a moment if I had to. I'm 5' 4" and weighed 292 pounds when I had RNY surgery (at 61) eight months ago. I was taking meds for blood pressure and insulin for diabetes. After eight months I have lost 93 pounds, and I'm no longer taking blood pressure meds or insulin and feel better than I have for 30 years. I researched the surgery for over a year and went through 2 surgeons before I made my final decision to have the RNY and I'm pleased with the results. You need to decide what is best for you. Do your own research, talk to people who have had the different types of surgery and get a surgeon that you trust. Even with all the research, the peace in my heart I felt about the decision to have the RNY, I was still scared when I went to have the surgery - it's human nature. God bless you. Sherry
   — SLittle1

November 8, 2008
Hi Ruth, I think your feelings are completely normal. There is always that fear of dying. Just remember that your will to live is stronger than your will to die. You will do great. It's better to do this now and live longer. You've probably heard all that. You will feel so much better. My surgery is the 11/12. I was scared the first time so much and long with funds not being available. I rescheduled. I'm ready this time. I'm not so afraid of dying anymore. You can always ask the dr to give you some anxiety pills to help you through the days. It's good that you sleep at night. I had trouble sleeping at night thinking I didn't want to do this but I don't have that feeling anymore. Now, I'm like yes. The day is getting closer. Good luck to you. Keep posting to get more support. You can go to any of the boards to post. You don't just have to stay on your state. You will do great!!! Your New OH Friend, Corina
   — Corina C

November 8, 2008
Hi Ruth Of course its normal! Im terrified of being intubated and even if Im going in for the most simplest routine surgery Im certain Im going to die. Here is what Ive learned that has helped I first had to see a cardiologist a year ago to get approved to have a tumor removed. He suggested wls. I told him I was afraid of surgery and having my organs reconfigured. His answer to me was that he would be more afraid of dying from obesity and not wls. Its been a year now and Ive moved and I now started seeing a new cardiologists. Well, Ive seen him twice and he immediately suggested weight loss surgery. I dont have any reservations now. What really helped me prep for my other surgery was imagery. The hospital had me meet a hypnotherapist and helped me to relax, also I was very vocal and verbalized my fears to my anesthesiologist and they were very helpful. You will be fine. I wish you the best.
   — Gilliegrl

November 8, 2008
Good Morning Ruth...I just had gastric bypass this past Tuesday...and was very scared !! But everyone told me as they have told you ~ it's NORMAL !! Going thru any type of surgery is scary...and I don't mind admitting I was plenty scared right up 'til the very last minute. When I got to the OR there were so many people there...I saw my surgeon and he said "how's everyone been treating you ??" I said "good"... and the next thing I remember...I was waking up in recovery and everything had gone great !! Everyone at the hosptial was so good to me...I came home on Friday afternoon and I'm doing really good...a bit uncomfortable at times but nothing I can't deal with. I wish you the very best of luck and hope you'll keep me posted on how everything goes for you !! Take Care ~ deb
   — debz_58

November 8, 2008
I also forgot to mention the most important thing (at least for me)...I've been a typeII diabetic for (almost) 5 years. When I came out of surgery my blood sugar was 162...I had insulin twice on Tuesday, once on Wednesday and that was it...when I left the hospital Friday afternoon it was 101 !! My metformin AND lisinopril have been taken away and when I see the surgeon in 2 weeks...I'm hoping after my blood work is done the lipitor will be gone as well !! The whole thing is very scary BUT I think it is going to be sooo worth it when all is said and done !! Again ~ the very best of luck to you !!
   — debz_58

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