Question:
What has been your biggest challenge?
What was the hardest part for you to overcome, change, or begin? Emotional, physical, or psychological challenges. And how did/do you overcome it? There are so many changes, I was just wondering what others had/have a hard time with? — Cheri M. (posted on January 18, 2002)
January 17, 2002
I miss drinking with my meals. I used to drink sweet tea with everything.
A big glass of tea with my big dinner. So I miss drinking with my meals.
I miss drinking a glass of cold milk with a PBJ. And I haven't overcome
it. Still working on it. I miss my secret food rendevous too.
— [Anonymous]
January 18, 2002
What a great question! I have to say that initially the recovery was the
hardest to overcome, the actual pain, as I wasn't interested in food for
the first month, or so. However, now that has all changed. I miss being
able to eat. Not the types of food, as I can basically eat anything, but I
miss being able to eat a large portion of food, I feel so cheated when I
can only eat 1/4-1/2 cup. I know it sounds crazy, and that is what I had
the surgery for, but it's a psychological thing I need to overcome.
With that said, I wouldn't change it for the world!
— Chloe S.
January 18, 2002
The hardest part for me (after getting over the surgery) was knowing when
to stop eating. I have never thrown up so I tended to overeat for a while
and I would just feel really bad for about a half hour afterwards. It
takes time to realize when you are full. Also, it is also hard
psychologically to know that you can't eat very much. I had a hard time
with this at first, but now am doing better.
— Beth Ann G.
January 18, 2002
I think the hardest part is the emotional stuff! No one prepares you for
that part. We've read all about what to eat, what not to eat, and how to
handle everything else. But you never hear about how it feels like an alien
has kidnapped your body and replaced it with another one, that looks
different in the mirror every day! All of a sudden, people who normally
wouldn't give you the time of day are talking to you. People smile at you
for no reason. It's all wonderful, but very hard to get used to. Luckily
this wonderful web site has helped immensely! I would be lost without it.
And, like the others, would not change a thing about my surgery. I thank my
lucky stars every day!
— Wendy H.
January 18, 2002
No doubt pre op it was getting thru the decision, fear,fear, fear, fear.
Along with the pre op testing and approval hassles. Did I mention the fear
of surgery and dying? Post op its been seeing my body change so much so
fast! ALL the hassles have been worth the great weight loss.
— bob-haller
January 18, 2002
1st let me just say I am 5weeks post-op, I have lost58lbs,but the hardest
thing for me was psychological-I craved everything I could not eat any
longer-it was hard and still is for me to overcome changes, like eating and
drinking at the same time,the sudden sense of fullness and I had only eaten
a tsp of food. I love ice cold water-BIG ADJUSTMENT !!! I would drink too
fast-So I am new at this and will be attending my first support meeting on
tomorrow-so I still need help-I like the physcial changes, but the
emotional and psychological challenges have been a little rough-but I am
hanging in there, you can too :-).
— jjpj497
January 18, 2002
The most challenging thing to me so far has been friends and family doing
the "what are you eating today for lunch/dinner?" or "can
you eat that?, why are you eating that, how much of that can you eat, how
can you live eating like that, etc., etc., etc." Those questions and
constant barrage of other people watching what I eat and how much I eat
makes me crazy. I get very self-conscious about it and over-whelmed at
times.
— Mustang
January 18, 2002
I would not say it was the most difficult.. but this problem for me was
probably the most unexpected: Feeling overwhelmed by the choices I now have
when shopping for clothes. Before, the choices were so limited. You know,
the plus size department being pretty small. Then all of a suddent
realizing that I am in the wrong department, everything is too big for me
here, and then going to ask where to find clothes to fit me. I remember
the sales lady saying your size is upstairs. So, I go upstairs. She
literally meant upstairs... the entire floor of this department store to
choose from. All I wanted was a red sweater!!! I was so overwhelmed that I
left the malls about 5 times having bought absolutely nothing!! So, I went
to Wal-Mart and bought some clothes.. fewer choices worked better for me in
the beginning. It was so overwhelming to me. Strange, don't you think? It
is better now. Also difficult was the grief over not being able to eat the
quantity I wanted to "numb out" some unwanted feeling. 7 months
post op and this is much better for me now. Also really miss sweet tea as a
previous poster stated.
— susie K.
January 18, 2002
Susie could've written that post for me. I am so overwhelmed by the
choices I have and the amount of time it takes to shop for clothes that I
don't even go to the mall. I used to love to buy clothes. Now I still do
but I just have no clue what stores I like etc. Pre-op I knew to get my
jeans from Lane Bryant, business clothes from Kaufmann's, play clothes from
Ashley Stewart. Now I am a size 18 and was in the mall 2 days ago just
literally filled with anxiety over walking into a regular size clothing
store wondering what the people would think. Fortunately I'm fairly
psychologically grounded so I chuckled over it but I allowed myself the
feelings. I know it will pass in time. Also difficult for me is knowing
something tastes REALLY good and knowing that I can't eat it all. I still
haven't accepted the fact that I can always put it in the fridge for
another meal. I am used to eating it all now! Good luck and God Bless!
— Kimberly L.
January 18, 2002
The hardest thing for me is SLOWING DOWN and eating slowly. I am 6 month
post op down 110 pounds and I still catch myself eating too fast. I use a
timer and it's just practice as they say. Not being able to drink with my
meals takes adjustment. The emotional adjustments to my weight loss and
void that food left was short lived and with the help of a great
psychiatrist I am doing well with those issues. I personally thought the
emotional issues would be very difficult for me. But, I was presently
surprised and grateful. The pain right after surgery was tough but also
short lived...once it went away it was the furthest thing from my mind. I
think this is a great question!
— Karen Renee
January 18, 2002
The hardest thing for me is SLOWING DOWN and eating slowly. I am 6 month
post op down 110 pounds and I still catch myself eating too fast. I use a
timer and it's just practice as they say. Not being able to drink with my
meals takes adjustment. The emotional adjustments to my weight loss and
void that food left was short lived and with the help of a great
psychiatrist I am doing well with those issues. I personally thought the
emotional issues would be very difficult for me. But, I was presently
surprised and grateful. The pain right after surgery was tough but also
short lived...once it went away it was the furthest thing from my mind. I
think this is a great question!
— Karen Renee
January 18, 2002
My mother-in-law. She wrote me a letter (even included a diet pulled out
of a magazine!) and tried to tell me I haven't tried everything (how many
diets do I have to try?! THEY DON'T WORK!), I'm not thinking about my
kids, I would get cancer (WHAT?), I'd have constant diarrhea, vomiting, I'd
never be able to eat anything, blah blah blah. Now I'm 92 lbs lighter, and
do you THINK she could say anything about how I look? HECK NO! That for
me has been the biggest challenge. She wants to find something wrong with
me so she can say "I told you so!" Even if something happened,
I'd never tell her!
— Becky H.
January 18, 2002
I am having trouble dealing with not being able to eat alot of things. I am
pushing a little too hard to eat "normal" food. When I should
just be contentrating on getting my water, and protein in. But therein lies
the problem. I am getting about 50-65 grams of protein aday. About maybe
40-60 oz of water. no suger, no caffeine. everything tastes so bland, but
if I eat anything more than pureed food, or puddings I start to get sick. I
have thrown up almost everyday trying different foods, and that has been
not only physically , but Emotionally draining as well. I started crying
the other day for seemingly no reason. I was just sad. I wasn't really
thinking of anything sad in particular. I attributed it to mourning the
loss of my old habits, and ways. My wife was worried about me, but I tried
to assure her that nothing was wrong. How can she believe me when I was
saying it through a veil of tears. I am not normally a person that cries at
the drop of a hat. I have not ever been a person that has needed emotional
support, or needed therapy for emotional issues. I am a man, and men are
supposed to be tough. I have to tell you though as prepared as I was for
the outcome, and the effects of this surgery I never would have thought I
would have needed the support of others like I do now. I come to this
website everyday, and it helps me alot, because I can see others in the
same boat as me. This is how I overcome my emotions. It helps alot.
— sbinkerd1
January 18, 2002
For me, the worst part at the beginning was when I was learning how to eat.
Liquid diet SUCKED and then I had to make sure that I "ate"
something every 2-3 hours and drank 64 oz of water but not for 15 minutes
before or 1 1/2 hours after "eating" and . . . You get the idea.
I finally put a timer on my computer and had alarms going off: Eat NOW!
Drink NOW! STOP drinking! LOL (I am laughing now but it was overwhelming at
the time.)<P>Now it is drinking water that gives me trouble. I am so
frustrated that I can't drink more water because I have ALWAYS been a water
drinker. Also, I find that I still think I am fat sometimes and I panic.
Around Christmas I was on the elevator and this size 0 woman got on loaded
up with bags. She was laughing with a co-worker because she had taken a
bunch of the leftovers from their Christmas party. I thought, "Boy, if
I'd done that people would have thought I was going straight home to pig
out," and I just felt like the floor was opening up and swallowing me.
Then I realized that I was not fat anymore and people would probably think
the same thing that they thought about her--like she had a lot of guests at
home or something. Just today I was trying on clothes and the dressing room
wall was kind of flimsy. I leaned on it and it moved and I was very careful
not to do that again. Any time I broke something before it was because I
was fat and not because there was something wrong with what broke. Now I
know this stuff is not realistic but I still feel that way a lot. I guess
my head still needs some time to catch up with my body.
— ctyst
January 18, 2002
I'm four years post-op and my weight has been stable for nearly
three years. I lost 140lbs., going from a size 32 dress to a size
16. The only changes in my life were the physical ones. My health
improved 100% and I became a "babe". I went from being one of
the
fat, ugly step sisters to being the belle of the ball. I truly thought
(pre surg) that EVERY facet of my life would change. That just didn't
happen. Same stress filled job, still saving up the downpayment for a
condo,
still working on that masters degree, same crazy sisters, still haven't met
my
prince (but, I'm kissing more frogs now). It took me a while to accept
that wls
changed the outside package.....but it didn't change ME.
— [Anonymous]
January 18, 2002
the hardest thing for me to deal with post op was trying to get in all that
water. After about 3 months it got easier , but early on it was so hard.
As far as other issues go i had to "re learn" how to dress. My
selections at size 26 were so limited and pretty much the same style ,
different color. When I lost the weight I had to find my style again, and
the choices were overwhelming. My daughter was a big help to me , she would
say no that's "old Rose" so I learned what was good for my new
slender body(size6-8) and age appropriate for me.Now I am a real clothes
horse so I deal with "oh another new outfit" in work a lot. I'm
not trying to show off , I am trying to enjoy my new body and and adorn it
in a way that makes me happy. Jealousy can be an issue.
— Rose A.
January 18, 2002
I am almost 6 weeks postop. The biggest challenges for me at this time has
been getting my water in, being on a 6 week regimin of pureed foods and
trying to avoid worrying excessively about numbers on a scale. I'm getting
better with water, I'll soon graduate to big kid food and I'm using alot of
positive self talk to deal with emotional issues. Oh! Another challenge has
been the constant questioning I get from people about my surgery. No one is
ever rude, just very curious. I'm happy to share my experience, but
sometimes I want people to remember that there is more to me than my
altered tummy.
— Donna L.
January 18, 2002
The biggest thing I'm dealing with right now and I'm almost right there
with you, had lap rny on 11/2/01 and UVA in Carlottesville is accepting the
fact that I WILL NEVER AGAIN be able to sit down and eat a huge meal, like
a big meal in a restaurant, or Thanksgiving dinner, that kind of meal. For
instance, I just ate 1/2 of a Lean Cuisine for dinner and was stuffed. I
still cannot accept it in my head that the big meal days are
over...forever. I hope this feeling passes. I'm down approx the same
amount of weight as you, I don't really know cause I only weigh myself once
a month so I don't fret over the plateaus. Best to you.
— [Anonymous]
January 18, 2002
I was in the hospital for 2 days, was on solids before I went home, didn't
need pain meds, slept on my own bed my first nite home, a poster child for
the surgery!! But now
5 weeks post-op. Getting the water in. Finding a shake/bar
I really like. ( still looking!) I buy a small envelope of some shake at
GNC/ other stores to try and see what i like
so far ... nothing. I am just forcing down the protein. And at times
almost makes me gag, the smell of the whey.( or whatever it is.) Also
allowing myself to get hungry then eating way too fast/ not chewing
properly ouch!!!! Sometimes, I wish my surgeon would have been a
"liquid/mush" diet doctor. I can eat anything ( a bite or two)
and that's what I do I even will eat a bite of bread.
I also will drink 1 small ( 1 tsp)sip of water after I eat.
Not drinking w/ meals has been hard for me too, but I hear everything gets
easier as it becomes habit.
— Cindee A.
January 18, 2002
I kindof agree with anonymous. I think that even though I knew that
everyone said not to expect alot of change in my life but only in my
health, I think that I thought, as I got to goal that I would once again
look as I looked at 21. (I am now 43 where was my head at?). I don't look
like that at all but actually now, like a thin 43 year old woman. One of
the hardest adjustments that I have had besides the medical ones, is the
fact that now that I am thin, I look my age. The weight, for some reason,
took at least 10 years off of my face. I don't have wrinkles or hanging
skin but, I do look older. Things in my life stayed almost exactly the
same. No better nor worse because of the weight loss. Same job, same
friends, same loving husband. I think that I was hoping to be some great
knockout for once. Instead I am a normal looking woman who fits into
society. that's okay also.
— Barbara H.
January 19, 2002
at 4 1/2 weeks post op i have found 2 major challenges in my life now. i
cant NOT drink with my meal. not constantly but i do have to sip some water
in the middle of my meal & at the end. but, thats all i sip & then
i wait an hour to beging my liquids again. i find i AM thirsty when eating,
not just THINKING i am thirsty. but it does seem to be ok for ME because i
am not hungry again for almost 4 hours. my other challenge is a very
'hurtful to my feelings' one. for the past 2 years we have been going out
to eat with this other couple on a set schedule. saturday nites at 11 pm we
would meet at our favorite coffee shop for 'breakfast'(this IS las vegas
lol). then on sundays we would have dinner at 3pm at whatever restaurant we
were in the mood for. since my surgery this couple has consistently refused
to go to ANY restaurant with us. they keep insisting 'u cant eat anymore'.
i have explained my new lifestyle to them & they just dont get it. i
think they think all i do is drink water. & even if that WAS all i
could do, why cant we sit around a dinner table, hubby & this couple
could eat, i would drink water & we would be socializing & enjoying
each others company! what would be wrong with that??? well today was the
last straw. i called them to see if they wanted to go out for dinner cause
hubby wants prime rib. of course they refused. i know, i know, why do i
keep asking them? i am a very forgiving person & always give someone
another chance & also i was hoping that this couple would come to their
senses. we enjoy their company so very much. i have decided that i will
NEVER ask them again. i just hate not having our weekends together. they
were so much fun. oh well, i guess this is their problem not mine.
— sheryl titone
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