Question:
What do you tell your dates?
I am 48 and have lost 76# from WLS (2/26/02) I would like to start dating BUT most guys want to go to dinner and have a few drinks. Well, I am not comfortable going out to eat, because(my)Gertie the Gut, still acts up from time to time. I would have one drink but I'd have to sip it real slow. Do you daters out there tell your dates about your surgery? I'd rather not, ever, but food issues could pop up. Fast food is kind of out for me at this point. I just don't want it. — Connie M. (posted on July 22, 2002)
July 22, 2002
Hi, Connie-- I'm a little over 2 years post & at goal weight. I'm not
really experienced, have just started dating recently after a REALLY LONG
time. :) I'm your age, too. On an earlier date, we did meet for lunch &
I ate very little. My date asked if that was all I was going to eat & I
just said I wasn't very hungry. It was a little awkward, but not horrible.
I haven't mentioned my surgery yet to the guy I'm now seeing. I have so far
been sucessful at not going to places to eat. When I'm nervous, I don't eat
well so I've just avoided the eating part. But when we DO go to eat, I will
probably just order soup &/or a salad. That usually gives me no
trouble. I have dropped hints & said I don't eat much at a time &
that I gave up fast food cuz it's unhealthy (which is true). I figure I
will tell him about the surgery after I know him a little better. I mean,
it really doesn't matter that much or change anything, I don't think... I
usually have no problems with a drink, except that one does tend to go to
my head.. :) But, it does seem to wear off fairly quickly. I think I could
have two drinks in an hour & a half to 2 hours. Hey, we've all become
experts at slow sipping! Food can still be a bit of an issue, but, hey,
isn't it fun to be dating again!?! I figure by the time he's likely to see
my scar, I'll probably say something...
— Kathy W.
July 22, 2002
I've told the men I date that I had to have abdominal surgery so I have to
take special vitamins because my body doesn't absorb vitamins through food
the way other people's do. I also tell them this causes me to not eat
nearly as much as most people. I've not had any problems with this
explanation and most men don't want to get that deep in explaining things
about the body anyway. I don't drink alcohol and I say I don't because of
the surgery but if they want to have some, there more then welcome to.
It's never caused a problem for me.
— Patty H.
July 22, 2002
I understand not wanting to disclose your WLS, especially on a first date!
Just tell your date you're a light eater and don't drink much ... or you
can just tell him that you are "too nervous" to eat much because
you're on a first date! LOL Don't worry ... by a few months down the
line, you will be able to eat enough so that nobody will think you're too
weird.
— Terissa R.
July 22, 2002
Hi Connie: I am married but often meet with business associates for happy
hour meetings. By 5pm, most of us are hungry from working all day, so I
suggest that we order drinks and a happy hour appetizer(meat & bean
nachos) or(mozzarella sticks) so all can share. This way I can eat a few
chips with beans and meat or a couple of mozarella sticks and no one is the
wiser. My suggestion for a couple of first dates would be for a "patio
happy hour" some where so that you can control how much you eat and
drink. p.s....I rarely drink and by going to happy hour I can order just
an ice tea and say that I don't want to drink and drive....I am in control
of my entire food situation then.....GOOD LUCK AND HAVE FUN DATING!!!!
— Joi G.
July 23, 2002
Hey Connie,
Im 37 and am nervous at the prospect of the "dating game" cos
I've been out of it for quite some time. I'm actually not at the point
where I'm going to date yet--I want to focus my energies on getting to goal
which is still quite a ways off....but when I'm at goal I dont think I'll
have a problem telling someone that I had this surgery. Frankly I'll be
proud of myself--that said I dont mean the minute I meet a guy I'll be
pouring it all out to him but if its going to develop into anything more
then I'll want them to know. bambi :o)
— Bambi C.
July 23, 2002
Who says you have to go out to eat? Go to a play or a movie, go play golf,
go do a million other things. So you don't eat a lot - BIG DEAL! If you
don't make an issue out of it, probably no one else will either.
— Angie M.
July 23, 2002
Hi Connie...I'm 32, had my surgery just over 1 year ago and have been
dating again for about 6 months. I understand your frustration with eating
on a date!! I just tell them that I really don't eat much -- I'm not
trying to be cute...I just don't and I have had no problems yet. Good luck
and enjoy yourself!!!
— Sharon E.
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