Question:
Forget what to do?
I want to start off my asking everyone to please help me, not yell at me - thanks. I am 4 months post bypass. I am down 76lb which is amazing. I use to work out a lot and I have always eaten right. Recently, I have found myself slacking on the work outs and eating crap that I shouldnt be eating. I have only done this for about 2 weeks. Does anyone have any advice? I dont want to ruin this gift that I have been given... Im 21 and its hard to say no to things when im with my friends and family. ADVICE PLEASE!!! — LauraMarie (posted on March 3, 2009)
March 3, 2009
Noboday should yell at you. Anyone who says they haven't struggled with
this same problem is probably not facing the truth. I know I have trouble
with this. I just had to decide what is more important to me, the food part
of socializing or the true enjoyment of friends and family and being able
to do the things with them that I couldn't 87 pounds ago. It isn't easy and
I would never say it is but nobody can tell you how to do it or why. Only
you can decided that. Prioritize YOUR reasons for having the surgery. Good
luck and best wishes for the future!
— vegastina
March 3, 2009
You jsut need to look at why you are eating things you should not. Do you
do it to fit in. Remember your friends and family will not care if you do
not eat what they do. They offer it only because they know you like the
foods. Just say no thanks and don't make a fuss. They will be fine with it.
Anyone who is not is a sabatore and should be spoken to at a differant time
to explain that you have chosen to eat foods that improve your health and
not make you ill. You must be strong for yourself. You are fighting for the
quality of your life.
— trible
March 3, 2009
I would start writing down everything you eat and how many calories. You
will think twice about what you put in your mouth if it is a candy bar for
400 calories or a whole meal.
— Carlyn M.
March 3, 2009
Girl it is hard to say no. But if you know you are going out and eating
with friends/family eat less through out the rest of the day. Or take it
but eat 1/2 of what you had planned on eating. Then walk twice as far the
next day. You are a young gal and you should enjoy going out but everything
is in moderation. Good luck
— hippylady7211
March 3, 2009
You've done incredibly well. 76 lbs in 4 months is awesome. You should be
proud of yourself. During the preparation period and 4months after
surgery, you were smart in starting make new habits for yourself. I'm just
wondering if very old habits are trying to re-acert themselves. If so,
you're smart to adress the problems now. The only thing that I could
suggest is to follow some of the other peoples answers, especially Deb.
She is making alot of sense.
— Kathleen W.
March 3, 2009
When I am tempted by something I know is not good for me, I ask myself this
question, "What is more important to ME, to eat like a normal person
or to LOOK like a normal person.?" I know that I can't have both:)
Rena RNY 4/30/08 Duke
weigh 110 lbs., lost 117 lbs. Forever!!
— RenaMansi
March 3, 2009
Cut n Dry Darl'n What is most important to you? What is your priority?
Is it possible your family is jealous and think your hot now??? Just a
question to you.....
Again... only you can CONTROL what your goals are. Only YOU can say NO
to those who won't support your goals.. Either stay with them or get
further away from them if they are not wanting to support
YOU>>>>>> YOUR CHOICE
— Eneleh
March 3, 2009
I'm with Deb on her advice...You can do some things in moderation and even
plan for them without guilt...But you have to make compromises with
yourself as she explained...It's unrealistic to "NEVER" eat
certain things ever again...because when you do and we all do...we tend to
beat ourselves up...THAT IS A TRIGGER for me to go on a self sympathy
binge. It's an old habit that I gave up when I committed to my life style
changes...You do however, need to stop using friends and family as an
excuse or crux to eat poorly...And as someone else said...It's "your
choice"...Set the examples for your friends and family to see how
seriously you are taking your health. They will admire you for it! And all
your hard work will show in how you look/feel/confidence...They will
totally respect it and maybe even start good eating habits as well! Being
21 doesn't mean you have to eat what your friends eat. Take a taste...but
don't over indulge. Their bad habits will catch up to them, some sooner
than later! You will be getting healthier and thinner. And...because you
are only 21, you have a LONG time to live yet...enjoy life in a thin
healthy body...and take care of yourself. Get rid of toxic friends who
don't respect how you need to eat...Can't get rid of family though...(I
gained 10 lbs at my moms house in a month a few years ago!) Yeah! I totally
understand! Took me 4 months to lose it too! I had a long talk with mom
and explained how she cannot try to force feed me...It's toxic to my
health! She understood, but she still does it! I just bite down and
politely say "no thank you" 300 times. I made up my mind not to
use friends and family as an excuse to eat garbage for food...I have enough
trouble on my own! If I can do this...you can too! One day you'll be
setting those good examples for your kids and being thin/healthy enough to
run and play with them. Those friends will be long gone and you'll still
have to live with you and the choices that you make right now! Get back on
track, for you!
— .Anita R.
March 3, 2009
First of all, congrats on the great weight loss!! That is awesome. I am 3
months post op and have lost 50, and I know exactly what you are going
through. Second, look at reasons you are doing what you are. I have
learned that I what I do sometimes is mess up "on purpose". It
is almost as if I am sabotaging my weight loss. That is something that I
did before the surgery. When I am eating what I shouldn't, I have a little
voice in the back of my head telling me no, but I ignore it. Same thing
with exercise. Kind of like a way to make myself feel guilty because I
can't eat as much now. I have spoken to the counselor at the weight loss
center and he says it is because we are going through a grieving process
because we have lost our "best friend" as we know it. It is
totally true. I would suggest that you just start working out again and
work on being able to say no to your friends. You are aware of what you
are doing, and you can change it. If there is a counselor that works with
WLS patients, make an appt. Use your resources, just like you did here,
and remember - You CAN do this. Keep me posted - You will do just fine!
— Dawn A.
March 3, 2009
You sound like a great kid! Stop beating yourself up--you are amazing to
try this out at such a young age--it must be terribly difficult to hang out
with friends who are not in need of being careful. Try to focus on the
success you already have--and take one day at a time--one meal at a time!
Love yourself--and get back to the gym--it will definitely help your
mindset.
Hang in there!
NERNA 50
— nerna50
March 3, 2009
I used to have food as the center of my socializing. Now when I want to get
together with friends I'll ask them to meet me at the local coffee shop and
drink plain coffee or tea instead of having food. If you ask your friends
and family not to force food on you I'm sure they will honor your request.
Maureen
— Muggs
March 3, 2009
I am 4 months post op today, and have also lost 76 lbs. Weird huh?
For the past 3 weeks I have been struggling with this same issue. I am
trying little by little to change my habits back to what they were when I
started this journey. One thing that I have noticed, is when I am not
eating mostly solid protiens (meat and such) that I get hungrier (cravings)
much faster. So this week I am focusing on eating my protien first again,
before I even allow the other stuff near my plate.
Next week I will be starting to write down and count calories and protien
closer. Since I am an "expert" dieter, I usually think that I can
just Guesstimate how many calories are in foods, and I think that I am not
always accurate.
Don't beat yourself up, I have already tried that, and it does not help at
all. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and head to the gym, and you (and
I) will be fine. I think that this "pep" talk was just as much
for me, as it was for you, so thank you for posting. :)
— jen_kill
March 4, 2009
Hey Laura... congrats on the great weight loss. There are a couple of
things that pop right into my mind immediately when reading your story and
question. One is that this is all brand new to you and your family and
friends. It will take time for your new eating habits to become second
nature and to feel natural. It will also take time for your family and
friends to get used to the "new you". Remember why you are going
out with them... it isn't necessarily to eat... it is to connect with your
family and friends on a social basis. Before your focus, I am sure was to
eat and visit.. now make it about visiting with some food thrown in. Try
meeting and doing something somewhere else besides a place centered around
food. You will find as you go through your journey that there will be
people who will support you, some that won't care one way or another and
some who will try to outright undermine your efforts. You have to sit down
with yourself and decide what is important to you and why you did this -
for you. then you may find that are people who you will not be able to see
socially any longer if they are the people trying to sabotage you.
Remember you have the ultimate say over what passes through your lips.
Don't blame it on the people you are with. Remember why you did this and
keep it in the forefront of your mind. Also, I know that I say this alot,
but I believe in counseling. For years, most of us have used food as a
comforting thing vs a sustainence thing. Living to eat vs eating to live.
Many are emotional eaters whether it is when we are happy or sad. To deal
with this, you have to find other things to take food's place. I am not
saying that it can never be pleasurable again, but your relationship with
food HAS to change. Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up, but
don't lose sight of how far you have come and how much farther you can go.
You are still considered a newborn.. tread lightly... good luck to you.
— Kari_K
March 4, 2009
I have not had surgery yet but I have had other obstacles in my life to
overcome. I have found that quite often I am my own worst enemy and I
defeat myself by what I am speaking to myself. My Pastor got my thinking
and focusing on our voice in our heads that we listen to. You know the one
that determines how you feel about yourself. He told us to take note of
what we are saying to ourselves and if it is not postitive or building us
up then we need to change what we are telling ourselves. I took note and
realize I was telling myself that I was a failure and other negatives. I
made an effort to stop those defeating thoughts and change what I tell
myself. It has helped me with my self esteem and enabled me to be able to
overcome some things in my life. I know this may seem odd but I felt the
need to share this with you. I certainly hope it helps.
— Lisa von Wallmenich
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