Question:
How did you explain to others why you are having the surgery?
I am 56 and I know my mother will not understand and neither will my in laws. Not quite sure if I should just not tell the in laws because I don't see them very often and when I do see them again just tell them it was time to do something serious about my weight. Any thoughts? — Cindya19 (posted on January 11, 2010)
January 11, 2010
You might be suprised at responce you get. I have fought all my life with
weight issues. Up down up down you know the drill. My parents were
nothing but supportive, they asked good questions. They were excited for
me. 5 months later 88 lbs less, they see how well the RNY tool is working
for me. Should have done it sooner will be 50 this year. Tell your mom
and inlaws it is time to do something serious about YOUR weight. Best of
luck to you.
— Nurseducky
January 11, 2010
Honestly I tried to keep it from my grandparents and others because I
didn't want to hear their judgemental crap. In the end I told them because
I know they care and would want to know. I have been having complications
the last month and it would have been so much harder to explain why healthy
me just keeps getting really sick for no reason. I think they would have
worried more. I am so glad I told them so now I don't have to be extra
sick and have people angry with me.
— [Deactivated Member]
January 11, 2010
I just turned 55 this year. I had the surgery 6 months ago and have lost 91
lbs. I've told everyone I've meet I had the surgery. I'm proud of myself. I
had a weight issue and health problems and did something about it. I
couldn't do it alone, have done more yoyo dieting then I care to remember.
This works!!! I've been sucessful and have my health back. Yippee hang
your head HIGH
— donnaholman
January 11, 2010
Outside of my WLS group, only my husband, my sister-in-law and my boss
know. I had gallstones so knew my gallbladder would be removed with my WLS,
so I said I was having gallbladder surgery and some work done in my
diaphragm area. If you have little to say about the type of surgery you're
having, people seem to respect that you don't want to go in to detail about
it. At 5 weeks after surgery, I went to a family and old friend reunion
for a week. About my limited eating, people would ask why I wasn't eating,
but after a couple of times seemed to accept my explanation that due to my
surgeries I was on a restricted diet and was also using the opportunity to
lose weight and reinvent myself at the age of 59. Best success with your
surgery and new life!
— Janell C.
January 11, 2010
I have only told a very few very close friends and my family who have been
very supportive. No one at work know, I had the surgery on 12/29/09 in
Mexico and did it during the holidays. I don't plan to tell anyone else
until I have lost. I am 52.
— rondasue42
January 11, 2010
I am also 56 and I didn't tell anyone except hubby and a couple of very
close friends, not even my children who are at college. Just told everyone
I wasn't feeling well for a few days (surgery) and then told them I was on
a liquid diet to lost weight. Perhaps in a year I may tell family but
maybe not. Knew a lot of people would try to talk me out of having the
surgery for their own personal reasons. Surgery done 12/10/09 and down 28
lbs. If you feel better keeping it quiet so you don't have to deal with
everyone's opinion, then so be it. Best of luck in your weight loss
journey. Feel free to stay in contact.
— Cynthia T.
January 12, 2010
I didn't tell my sister until she said Wow, you look great, how much have
you lost? I told her 25 lbs and she said since when? I told her 2 weeks
ago. That was 4 yrs ago. I didn't tell people (except my job and husband)
that I was having this done. It was my decision and my health and my life.
So I told them I did it because my doctor told me I needed it in order to
get healthy. Don't lie about why you had it. IF people ask, tell them,
but you don't have to feel like you "owe" them an explaination.
You can explain it in great detail to close supportive friends and simple
closed ended answers to others. Some might be so curious for themselves,
they might ask more about it. My sister in law did. When she saw me after
I had lost a lot of my weight, she pursued it and 4 yrs later has had it
done herself. But, long story short, you did it to better your health. I
hope this helps.
— Kristy
January 12, 2010
I am 57 and waiting for my surgery date (band). The only people that know
are my son, sister, best friend. I'm not telling anyone else. It's none
of their business. If the people at work notice how little I will be
eating, they will think that's the reason why. I don't want to hear any
negative comments. My son had the surgery and he's doing fantastic!
— jackmom1484
January 12, 2010
I've told everyone I did it to extend my life. Then go on to tell them my
BP has never been better, the Tachycardia is now under control and I'm no
longer considered a diabetic; therefore, no more shots!
— strawberryjayne
January 12, 2010
When I had my surgery, I was very reluctant to tell anyone for the fear of
what they would think. But the ones I did tell were very supportative.
This is not a secret or anything to be ashamed of. It is the right
decision for you and hopefully your family will be supportive.
Good Luck!
— Janet H.
January 12, 2010
I only told those I chose, which were few. The ones I did tell, and most
of them were after the surgery, I explained the matter of life-or-death! I
was close to demise at the time and am now full of life. Don't be
concerned abot others and what they have to say about your life! You
decide and take care of yourself -- no one else will! I wish you the best
of health and a blessed surgery!
Julie
— jjack
January 12, 2010
I chose to have RNY for my health reasons. I wanted to be free of the
diabetes and high blood pressure. The weight loss is just a wonderful
benefit to getting my health back. I would focus on the health
reasons/benefits rather than the ego.
— tlscannell
January 13, 2010
I told some people of my plan for surgery. Some were supportive while
others, my supervisor at work offered weight loss advice. One friend asked
me if I was depressed. I am learning that it is better to keep the
information to myself.
— elkitty
January 13, 2010
THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH FOR BEING SO OPEN & HONEST REGARDING MY
CONCERNS. I now have my cardiac testing & bariatric nutritional
consult scheduled for Feb.
— Cindya19
January 14, 2010
I only told a few but other I said I'm giving up sweets, carbs, working out
because some of the people I know would have bad mouth it. Try to talk me
out of it that it wasn't in God will. But let me tell you something this
is the best thing I could have ever done, so enjoy it for you and not
others. Be Blessed! kaybusk
— kaybusk
January 15, 2010
I told 5 people prior to having surgery... My husband, My mom, My cousin
(who went to all my support meetings), My sister, and my boss. I really
didnt want to hear all the bad things that people would possibly say.
After I had surgery everyone said why didnt you tell me I would of been
supporting. I sure wasnt going to tell my in laws... Tell who you feel
needs to know and dont worry about it.. Its the best choice I ever made...
— ckjjones
January 16, 2010
I tell them I did it to regain my health -- which after 10 months since
surgery I have done. I'm down about 107 pounds and feel the best I have in
30 years
— rkurquhart
January 18, 2010
I am a 41 year old woman who has told everyone in my family that I was
having the surgery.
Surprisingly other than concern for the risks involved in the surgery
everyone was pretty supportive except my husband. It took me a while to
realize that he was afraid of something going wrong as I have lots of
health issues, and the resistance came from not wanting to lose me and be
left with the guilt of having encouraged the surgery.
So I changed my tactics a bit and began to discuss with him the importance
of the surgery to me and that it was my decision and not his.
I explained to him the reasons that I chose to do the surgery even with the
risks...I have no way of enjoying my quality of life with my family, and no
future quality of life without it. My future without the surgery is more
and more illness, pain, depression, and inevitably a slow miserable death.
With the surgery I see a future of participation with the family, enjoying
the things I can only dream of now, and of course great sex :-)(that one is
for spouses only).
He was convinced and has now jumped on the band wagon! As for the family
members that don't approve, do thier opinions really matter that much? The
ones that matter are you,your children and your spouse.
Good luck! - Jackie (RNY Scheduled 2/8/2010)
— Jacqueline F.
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