Question:
Let's Not Forget....
— poodie (posted on January 17, 2009)
January 17, 2009
Ann, your right it is easy to forget, and this forum has it's share of very
vocal people who are very unkind. I sign my e-mail with this saying:
It is said that in every fat woman there is a thin woman dying to get out,
but inside this thin woman is a fat woman who remembers.
We should all remember.
— kathcar
January 17, 2009
Amen! We were all once in same boat and should always remember that!
— bridgadean
January 17, 2009
I agree! I haven't had problems with back sliding, but I know how easy it
is to do. Hopefully I'll never have that problem, but I would never talk
down to someone who is having more difficulties than I am.
— Teresa V.
January 17, 2009
Thank you for this. I'm almost 9 years out from revision to RNY and have
been part of this board since shortly after having my VBG in 1997 so I've
been around a while. I have noticed a trend of some pretty nasty posts
prefaced with "I don't mean to be rude BUT" or "I don't mean
to sound like a jerk BUT" or some don't even bother with that and just
dive into it feet first and rip people a new one. It's bad enough to have
had the surgery and messed up and be on the receiving end of that but what
about the newbies and pre-ops who are looking to the board not JUST for
knowledge but also for support. Now, I am of the belief that you can say
anything you want or need to say in a kind way. I have no problems jumping
in on certain threads where my experience is needed (especially in
revisions and alcohol since I experienced a transfer addiction to alcohol,
drank for 3.5 years and had to battle my way out of that to get sober 4.5
years ago). When I share on that type of thread I state my experience and
warn of the consequences. Period. We all have knowledge to share with each
other and should all do so. That's what makes this board great! But we
don't have to be MEAN while we are doing it. Signed from someone who will
never forget where she came from.
— Kellye C.
January 17, 2009
thank you so much anne. i was one of the people who got ripped a new one
because i cheated on my pre-op diet. i was told i shouldnt evenhave this
surgery because i cheated. i was crushed because the reason i joined this
is because i can relate to all of these people. we all start out at the
same starting place. thank you for postingthis. i feel vindicated.
— jackie L.
January 17, 2009
Yes...some forget...some are too new and don't realise that there is an
average 10-20 percent regain in MOST after the first or second year...and
when that happens it's the most scary and discouraging feeling....We feel
like failures even though gaining back 20-30 lbs after losing hundreds is
no where near failing! Yet, it still feels like old failed diets and we
lose complete confidence in ourselves! There will always be some that
speak too soon about perfection...and maybe it's good to have that attitude
even if it makes us that are not newly post op and have gotten our hunger
back and our dumping faded and our temptations during holidays are too
great to pass up...It'll catch up...and soon they too will face the
struggles of maintenance and I pray they still have all their "tsk
tsks" and "What were you THINKING" remarks ready to eat!
Privately of course...I'm not one to gloat, because it will happen without
me even having to say a word...
I
— .Anita R.
January 17, 2009
OOPs! I was not going to post that and meant to delete but hit post
instead! LMAO! That's what I get for venting to myself instead of just
letting my passion about these sorta things just cool off! So yeah...I
agree! which was all I was thinking really! :::red faced:::
— .Anita R.
January 17, 2009
I absolutely agree with you, it's so easy to forget when all is going well,
but we all have those days. Thanks for putting out a reminder that we are
all here for support, and compassion. This should be a place where people
can come and not feel they are going to be judged. Thanks for sharing.
— jeannefitz
January 17, 2009
Ann, you are so right. Each one of us has been there and for those who are
fixing to go there, it is an rewarding experience. BUT...everyone should
know that all the Dr.s that does this surgery, does not tell their patients
that they have to watch what they eat, or they have to vitimins for the
rest of their lives. These patients are just told, you had the surgery, eat
and drink what you want, and the weight will come off. How sad.
For me at present, I don't have a problem with eatting to much, as for I am
just 3 months out, and hardly eat, but I know later on, I might be tempted,
and probably will try to eat something I shouldn't....
So for all who reads this, please listen to Ann, Kathleen, Bridgette,
Teresa, Kellye, Jackie, Anita, and Jeanne.
They know how it is and are right on about us being here for support.
I want to personally apoligize to all who have had their feelings hurt on
here and say I am sorry, and will Pray from this moment on that everyone
will help support everyone on here.
And I also want to thank each and everyone for their post, as for I,
myself, has learned a lot from ya'll.
God Bless ya'll
— daizi55
January 19, 2009
I agree with you all. I know that this is just a tool to use with a life
long diet. I also know that if I am not careful I could regain the weight.
Kathleen, what a wonderful statement!!!!!Would you mind if I borrow it to
use also?
— mary_rn
January 19, 2009
Anne,
God Bless You! I remember where I came from-all the ridicule and
humiliation and like I often tell my children who are now all grown; I hope
your life turns out as perfect as you want it to be. Some use size to
advantage. I've yo-yoed with my weight all my life. I had surgery 21
years ago. I messed up and now still have 75 pounds to go.
I'm not perfect, I'm human and I am here to support and listen and give to
whoever needs to have that done for them.
At times people incense me with some of the rude and almost cutting remarks
but I've learned to let it go. You see what works for one might not work
for another. I'm a nurse and doctors are unfortunately guilty of telling
patients what they want to hear. I used to weight 480 pounds and my wake
up call was when the doctor told me to lose weight or die. So I lost
weight through duodenal switch. I had some other health problems too. The
surgery proved to help. I backslid and then regained my lost steps; which
brings us to today. I now have 75 pounds left to lose. I exercise and do
cardio and swim and so forth; so its always the struggle within to keep the
weight down. By trial and error I have found what works for me. I had
this surgery after my sixth child was born. My body had been through a
lot. We're human beings. Being mean or rude just is to me at least, a
sign of a small, narrow thinking mind. Use your minds to be creative.
Exercise and food moderation(I don't like the word diet;sounds like your
are dying)will help you on your journey to reach the goal of at least being
comfortable in your own skin. A mature woman who very definitely remembers
where she came from. God Bless all of you,
vinnigirl, retired RN
— vinnigirl
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