Question:
How to Tell a Child??

I am a volunteer for Big brothers big sisters - my Little is 9 years old. I am scheduled for surgery on December 31st. I need to tell her about this surgery or something because I probably won't beable to do anything with her for awhile afterwards. Those of you with kids - what did you tell them? Or just let them assume you are dieting? She is a smart kid - and I will probably have to tell her mother also - just so she doens't think I have a terminal illness or something. Thanks in advance.    — Kristie M. (posted on November 16, 2002)

November 15, 2002
First of all, I was to give you a big pat on the back for being involved in this program--it is wonderful! I didn't have to tell a child, but I do teach an Adult Special Ed Sunday School class and had to tell them since I would be out for a while. I just told them that I was going to have surgery that would help me lose weight. When they questioned me further, I told them the doctor was going to make my stomach smaller so I wouldn't eat as much. That seemed to satisfy them. Good luck!
   — Want2bslim

November 15, 2002
I told my daughter I was having it done to improve my health so I could live longer and be with her longer.
   — Candace F.

November 16, 2002
I think that telling kids the truth keeps them from imagining something far worse than the reality! I gave my boys (8 & 11) that i was having surgery to lose weight. They have seen me struggle with my weight and are genuinely excited for me. I ask them every week or so if they have any questions, which really tells me what is on their mind, and answer as simply as possible and stop when they are satisfied that they have enough info. My little guy thought that i was having surgery (because he did not know what "surgery" meant) everytime I went to the doctor. My big guy thought that I would come home thin. Kids are so smart and if you don't tell them the truth they know it or if they don't and find out you lose their trust. I also agree w/ the previous poster that you are really doing a great thing for some little person. One kind and loving adult in a little ones life can make a difference forever! Thank you!
   — Carol S.

November 16, 2002
hi there :) my son keaton is 8. i explained to him as well as i could that i was going to have a surgery to help me lose weight and that i may not be able to do things with him right away getting out of the hospital but that i would recover and things would be better. he replied"mommy i dont want you to change. i love you just the way you are." after clearing the big lump out of my throat, i thanked him and told him he was the sweetest boy on the earth. i then explained to him that mommy was doing this to be around with him for as long as i can. he handled it all very well and hes such a crack up now. he brags about me to all his buddies and the other day he took a gallon of water away from me and told me" mom this is too heavy for you, let me handle it, i dont want you to get a hernia" also one day we were pulling up to the local gas station and the next thing to come out of his mouth was " hey there guy stop checking out my mom" LOL hehe! i thought i would share these cute little stories with ya. they touched my heart. any way the point is, kids are pretty darn strong and they handle things better than we think they can. i wish you the best of luck and hope your daughter does well with it. im sure she will! :)
   — carrie M.

November 16, 2002
hi again kristie! oops., i feel silly, i didnt read your post right and thought you were talking about your daughter. i feel silly now LOL but anyway, i think she will be just fine after she knows that youll need time to heal but will be back just as soon as you can :)
   — carrie M.

November 17, 2002
I have 4 kids. I told them the surgery would make my stomach smaller. I downplayed all the risks. Then I showed them the before and after pictures on this site so that they could see what happened after surgery. Seeing that so many people had the surgery done and the fantastic results, reassured my kids. They weren't worried at all.
   — Kathy J.

November 17, 2002
I told my girls (ages 9 and 11) about the surgery and was very up front honest about why I wanted/needed it; what the procedure was; and what they should expect. They have been fine all through the process, measuring my success by how far their arms reach around me for hugs. But,(LOL) being the loving, sharing, social creatures that they are, they took the whole situation to the neighborhood. I couldn't have kept this a secret if I had wanted to. Imagine my surprise to have my nine year-old's playmate's mother inquire about my "progress" since my "surgery". If nothing else, my children have taught me grace...
   — [Deactivated Member]