Question:
Help, I can't seem to shake the blues.

Hi. I'm 29 years old and over 330 pounds (not sure of exact weight). I just recently began considering WLS because I have been unsuccessful at every other weight loss attempt I've tried. I cry alot when I look in the mirror. If I could avoid mirrors I would. At times I don't think of my weight and then I will see my reflection in a window or my HUGE shadow on the ground and whatever happiness I had quickly evaporates. I am constantly moody and take it out on my husband (who by the way is great and very supportive). He knows how miserable I am and how desperate I am to lose this weight. I'm scared that I am going to eat myself into an early grave. That the family we want to have will not happen because of my weight. And...if I did by chance have a child, I would be unable to participate in it's life because I would be to fat to do anything except sit back and watch. I cry myself to sleep most nights. I am so disgusted with myself and very ashamed of myself and how I look and that I am at this point. I hate going to restaurants because most times my hubbie wants a booth & I don't fit too well in them so I'm uncomfortable during the meal. I could really use some support and help through all of this. WLS seems to be the only solution. I am so thankful that I found this site. I could really use some support and advice through all of this.    — Kellye G. (posted on July 13, 2000)

July 13, 2000
I have a friend who just had surgery and she is 28. She topped the scales of 408 when she went under. She felt the same way you did. She would go to work and come home not to leave her home until the next day for work. She sent people to the grocery store for her because she got physically tired after walking a few steps. She is a week and a half post op and already lost 23lbs. When I read your story, I thought of her. If it can happen for her, it can happen for you. My story is a little different but still depression was an issue for me. I was not quite heavy as the two of you, but still obese. When I had my surgery I topped the scales at 260. That has been six months ago and I am now down to 180. I will never regret having the surgery. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.
   — Barbara P.

July 13, 2000
Dear Kellye, What you are feeling is very normal. I too feel depressed about my weight and do not like to look at mirrors, but remember, Jesus loves you and so does everyone on the website. You are a unique, special individual and you are worthy of all good things. Don't allow anyone to rob you of your joy. You do have the power to change your circumstances, just like I am about to do. It will not be easy, but neither is the way we are living now. Find your inner strength, my friend and go for it. We all are rooting for you. God Bless. Nadia
   — N S.

July 14, 2000
Kellye, Just want you to know I feel for you. Before surgery, I felt the same things you are feeling. Hated to leave the house, or look at myself in a mirror. I'm quite a bit older than you {38 yrs. old} I had the open RNY 6 mo. ago. I have to take a double look in the mirror these days to make sure the person I am seeing is really me. {..and I've only lost 76#....58 more to go.} It has been soooo worth it. I only wish I would have done it sooner. You are still so young with a bright future. I say go for it!! You've got so much to look forward to. My biggest support was, and is my husband which you are so fortunate to have too. It's been so great going through this together. There is light at the end of the tunnel. If there are any questions I can answer, feel free to E-mail me. Good luck. Dani
   — Dani J.

July 14, 2000
Kellye, we've all been there and we've all felt like you do. My pre-op weight before my open VBG was 343; now it's 268 (in less than 12 weeks). I have two very active boys, 13 and 9, and have spent most of their lives watching them. Now, I can participate with them ... I don't get tired walking to the car, or to the park, or in the mall -- and I no longer get winded tying my shoes. They love their "new mom"! It still amazes me when I sit in chairs (like those attached-to-the-table-ones they have in places like McDonald's) and I can actually scrunch my body into them without having to hold my breath or attempting to suck my stomach out my back! I agree with the previous posts ... go for it! I have absolutely no regrets.
   — Cheryl Denomy

July 18, 2000
The first thing I would suggest is that you seek counseling and medication for depression. I suffer with depression, and medication helps a lot. Next I suggest that you find a good BARIATRIC surgeon (obesity surgeon) and discuss the possibility of WLS. One very important component is support! Find out if your surgeon has a support group. If not, find another surgeon. You probably won't need the support group forever, but it's really important to have it available. Also, I suggest a proximal RNY (I had this surgery, and started at 397 one year ago. Today I weigh 263, and I'm still losing). If you want to email me, I will tell you my reasons for suggesting the proximal RNY. [email protected]
   — Peggy51

March 23, 2001
Start by building up your hope. Take some time to daydream and see your self as you would like to be (thinner, more energetic, etc.). Maybe that will lead you into doing something about your weight. It did for me. I am pre-op (surgery date 4/6/01). I couldn't lose long term on my own so I am going to have the surgery and I thank God for giving us the opportunity to be what we dream and providing wls.
   — janet P.