Question:
How can an individual adopt a lifestyle that simply doesn't come natural to him/her?
In an effort to find something (anything at all) that might trigger the slightest bit of motivation, I stumbled upon this quote on the internet... Physical activity suggests doing something fun that involves moving. Exercise implies doing something you don't like because it's good for you. If you hate to exercise, think physical activity, and remember, if it's not fun, it's not done. "If it's not fun, it's not done" are the words that obviously apply to me. As you know, simply put, I find none of it fun. I continue to see this over and over again. This would infer that I am destined for failure. I can't help but wonder that if this is so, why continue trying? Quite a depressing thought, to say the least, but it appears to be right on target. Do you know of any documentation that might provide me with some hope? I've struggled with this all of my life - losing weight, reaching my goal, swearing never to put it back on again... I can go through the motions for awhile - white knuckling it all the way to my goal but ultimately, I revert back to the lifestyle that comes naturally to me - being sedentary. Do you personally feel that I'm wasting my time even trying knowing what the outcome is typically? I respect your honest, professional opinion. Are you aware of anyone remotely like myself that has found long-term success? If so, I would like to know how they did it. Any insight you can provide would be very much appreciated. Thanks for your time... — RickMiller (posted on April 13, 2008)
April 13, 2008
I am sitting here smiling, because it sounds like I might have written this
several years ago. I know the importance of post op exercise- shoot, I
even chose to have an ope RNY rather than the Lap procedure simply because
I knew the hellacious gas pains that would result, and the constant walking
that was necessary immediately post op, in order to get all that gas out,
and also knew, there was not a snowballs chance in Montana that I could
ever do it. I had this surgery because I needed a hip, knee and shoulder
replacement. My walking was down to almost nil, and the only time before
and since surgery I didnt have pain, was because of the anesthesia for the
surgery. My walking was wonderful for about 6 days :). I lost a total of
230 lbs, in just a little over 16 months, and my walking was approx 25
steps down the deck from my front door to my neighbors, and back again,
maybe 2-3 times a day, mostly once a day. and lots of days, not at all. I
did something else, many thought was silly, but I knew me so well, it was
necessary. I had watched an Oprah show pre op, and she had to write out a
CONTRACT with herself, and sign it, for herweight loss program. I wrote
one, with all the things I knew I needed to do, and signed it. I decided
then, it was follow all the rules, to a T, or not have the surgery. It has
kept me on the straight and narrow on my journey. Still weigh and measure
my food, still havent had any more than 3 grams of sugar in a portion, have
no idea what would happen to me if i ate a regular cookie, or a piece of
fried chicken. Honest injun. You can do this, i did it with out the advised
10,000 steps a day, and listening to my nutritionist whether i wanted to or
not. I am no longer in a wheelchair, am driving again, but still need all
those body parts replaced- we shaLl see. Good luck in whatever you decide,
if you want this change, make it happen ) Cindi 3.24.04 - 230 and
maintaining for over 3 years.
— DollyDoodles
April 13, 2008
Rick,
You are off to a good start by just gtting on this site. I spent three
years deciding what was going to do for my weight. After all I though
surgery was the easy way out, but it is not. It is however the way to keep
it off. I went to many doctors lectures and I did not like many of the
messages I heard. I finaly found surgeon that had the surgery him self.
Finally a guy that was not slim telling fat people how to get skinny. We
he was slim, but he had been very fat. I listen to his lecturer three
times and then asked him to sit down with me and address my questions. He
spent 4 hours with me and never looked at his watch or charged me a cent
for that visit. Finally I found the professional that cared about me and
wanted me to succeed. I had high blood presure, high colestroal type II
Diabities for 25 years, slow thyroid and bad knees, nuropithy, and
rentiopthy. I took 18 drug a day. 4 months after RNY WLS I am off 16 of
those drugs, the diabities is gone, the blood pressure is 100/55 and my
total colosteral is 95/ The rest of the issues are with me for life, but
what a change. Yes, it is a decision about a new eating style, no fast
foods, no drinking, but you know at 62 years old, I see that I am going to
be around to see my grad kids grow up. I go to the gym every day xpt
sunday. I started the second week following surgery for just 10 minues,
and every day I do a little more until I was doing 1-1/2 hours per day. As
the weight comes off it is easier, and I have several Gym partners that we
make games out of it. I have take up golf. I was so fat before I could
not see the ball to hit it. I was so fat that if I traveled alown, I had
to wear loffers with no socks as I could not tie my shoes. Today, I go to
a streching class and I can wrap my hand over the top of my foot and grab
my heal with my legs streight out. You can do it but you need help to
succeed. Start by filling out that profile. It is a good place to record
what you feel and think. Start that search for a surgeon. It is elective
surgery, but it does work. I was scared I would die, but today I would do
it all over gain. Find people you likethat are doing it hre and write them
one on one. We all care about the other guy, because we were the other guy
not that long ago.
Best of success to you.
— William (Bill) wmil
April 13, 2008
I still don't exercise...partly because I'm still lazy, but more so because
I'm still anemic and still get dizzy and I am afraid of passing out,
especially if I'm alone. I don't know how I've gotten lucky enough to lose
150 pounds so far with next to no exercise and I'm sure that the weight
loss will stop if I don't start exercising, but I literally get dizzy doing
dishes, so I have to wait until I'm feeling better. I'm 8 1/2 months out
open RNY. I think the best thing to tell you is that "anything worth
having is worth working for" and I know I need to adopt that motto
myself. Nothing in life is ever easy and we have to work for everything
else. I would suggest finding a buddy to help you along, keep you
motivated, and make it fun. Or really find something you enjoy doing. I
don't know if you are married or have a significant other or kids or not,
but maybe go biking with the kids, throw a frisbee, toss a ball...anything
fun like that. They will love it and so will you...just spending the time
together. If you don't have kids, maybe you could "borrow" a kid
for the day--a niece, nephew, friend's kids, etc. Good luck to you!
— ALafferty
April 13, 2008
Hi Rick,
WOW..."If it's not fun, it's not done" Those words are not the
best to go by for anyone I know. We all have a few things we must do that
aren't fun but they MUST be done. Maybe you need to start out slowly and
work into your Exercise. Have you tried to get a partner? Do pool excerise?
Were all in this for a healthy longer life. When we started this journey
of weight lose NO one sd "it would be fun". Find your passion in
life and try to use that to help you get up and going. I wish you the
best of luck..I wish I could do more to help you..BUT I do not have a magic
wond or I would help every one of us that wants to change their life !
— tootsie52
April 14, 2008
Your bio just say doesn't say much. Whether you diet or have surgery to
lose weight, exercise is a compenent to making that process work. The RNY
surgery is just a tool to help with weight loss. Portion control, choice of
healthy foods. avoiding fatty or high sugar foods, AND EXERCISE are all
compnents to make the RNY work long term. Exercise may not be fun, but it
needs to be done. Maybe you need to research an activity you might
enjoy--hiking, biking, kayaking, etc. that involves exercise that you might
consider fun?
— Dave Chambers
April 14, 2008
Hey Rick-
I used to struggle a lot with this, gyms are just not for me! So my
husband suggested something that changed my attitude completely.
What did you enjoy the most when you were little?
I LOVED roller skating and jumping in puddles...so I bought a pair of
roller skates and after making a fool of myself a couple of times at the
local school playgrtound (while no one was at school) I find it is as fun
as I remember!
Jumping in puddles was one of those things that my parents always got mad
about, but hey, I'm an adult! So I make puddles, wear old shoes or buy
galoshes and then jump away!
As far as food goes, that's an entirely personal thing :-)
HTH!
— Ravenwulf
April 14, 2008
Hi Rick,
Gee, "white knuckling" it doesn't seem a great way to live life!!
I started a behavioral change program in 2002 known as mindful eating. I
lost over 50 pounds in 6 months - and never dieted. I'm down over 70
pounds from my all time high - and it's 6 years later. More importantly, I
have a great life...
But I do know the desperate feeling associated with needing to lose weight.
I felt my weight was affecting my career, marriage - and most of all it
was keeping me from doing a lot of things I really wanted to do - like
playing with my kids, going for a bike ride, and trekking in Bhutan. After
I lost the weight I did go on a 3-week trek in Bhutan in 2004 - and it was
one of the highlights of my life!
Duke Integrative Medicine has created a mindul eating program specifically
for bariatric patients (Duke has also been studying mindful eating
techniques through NIH-sponsored grants since 2000 - and they've
demonstrated the techniques are quite helpful to binge eaters - they are
now doing research on using these techniques for weight maintenance. You
can find out more about it here:
http://emindfulbariatric.com/interviews/Ruth_Quillian_Wolever.html
Their program is available online in a live, virtual classroom. You can
check it out here:
http://emindfulbariatric.com/schedule/
I don't think you are going to fail because you clearly want this and are
demonstrating that by reaching out through this question. I wish you the
very best...
Warm regards,
Kelley
— morngglori
April 14, 2008
I am very sedantary, but not really by choice. Simply because i'm too big
to get up and move around comfortably. It's all i can do to take care of my
two kids, the house and grocery shop.And just doing those things causes
pain in my knee and hip. I'm 2wks post-op (LB) and the extent of my moving
so far isn't much more than that. My husband has been making a point of
taking us all out on little outtings to the lake and the canyons (fishing
& target practice for him and our son) knowing that i and the 2yr old
will want to go even if only to be going. So the baby and i walk around.
I'm only walking as fast as she is, but it's more than i was doing before.
And each time we do it, i feel better for it. With the weather getting
warmer we go out in the neighborhood and walk around. But this is one of
the reasons for my WLS. So i could play with my kids. What do you like to
do. Walk in the park, go shopping? Go fishing? Anything that will get you
out of the house and moving. I don't typically like excercise, but am
looking forward to getting into the gym for several reasons. 1) I know i
will feel better once i start doing it, more energy, tone muscles etc... 2)
I will lose weight faster 3) if i'm toning my muscles, my sagging skin
should tone up too (for the most part). And i won't be left with as much
extra skins as i would if i didn't excercise. I don't like going to gym
and feeling like people are staring at the "fat woman". Skinny
people don't understant fat people and i feel like they think we shouldn't
be there. But since having my surgery, i know that the weight is going to
come off and i don't feel as insecure as i once did. I am proud of myself
and don't care what people think. Funny how the surgery has changed my
perspective. So think of something enjoyable, start doing it for the fun of
it and i think you will find yourself wanting to do more. Good luck to you
and God bless.
— Kristi H.
April 14, 2008
I'm just like you - and we're both just like the majority of people on OH,
I'll bet! My surgical group says it's not necessary to "exercise"
in the strict sense of the word (i.e. THE GYM!) but it is important to do
some kind or regular, daily activity. Works for me since I'm disabled on a
strict Social Security Disability income...I have a great book to recommend
for you that can be purchased on Amazon.com for $11.95 - sorry, I just
checked and it's up to $24.95, but it's woth every penny - I loaned it to
one of my WLS peers a few months ago, and it's now making the rounds with
other patients.. It's called The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide
to Life After Bariatric Surgery by Cynthia Alexander, and it's a small book
with great information about preparing youself psychologically preop,
damaging self-talk, relationshils, dealing with WLS weight loss, etc. It's
a strictly psychological book written by a post-op WLS patient who (if I
remember correctly) is a nurse. One of its many perles is to simply commit
to 5 minutes of activity daily - even if it's just walking around the house
for 5 minutes. It's an easy amount of time to psychologically and
physically handle, and most times a person will find that once you're up
and moving it feels good and many days will result in more than 5 minutes.
My exercise is just walking; now that the weather's nice I can go outside,
but I also invested in a treadmill so I can do it daily. It' s working -
last weigh-in 2 months ago I'm 43 pounds lighter preop!
— obeseforever
April 14, 2008
I could also have written your post...I LOATHE exercise...and I think in
the back of my mind (pre op) I too was setting myself up for failure with
bad thoughts and doubt. I mean, really...Nothing ever worked before, right?
Here's the thing...three days after surgery, they told me I no longer
needed insulin for my diabetes! I was stunned. I lost 8 lbs in the
hospital.....How was it possible to suddenly no longer be diabetic? There
was no more acid reflux...It was just GONE!...
I had open RNY so I was quite sore since they cut through your upper
stomach muscles and it takes a good 6 mos to heal. Everyday, I wondered,
how will I ever lose all my weight if I can't even exercise for a good 6
mos (Started at 315lbs) I thought it was coming off so slowly, but every
month I lost 15-30 lbs...As I did, my energy level just picked up and my
pain level diminished. I began doing the things I always wanted to do...and
began doing things that were labor intensive but incredibly unique and
rebellious! (especially for a girl) I got so ambitious and even began
mowing the lawn for my husband and doing yard work...planting flowers and
pulling weeds...I went swimming in the local lake and eventually the local
pool (was a little embarrassed at first...but just learned to put on
blinders and not look for people to be staring at me...and enjoyed that
workout because you didn't feel yourself sweat...Didn't feel like exercise
and yet I was moving every muscle in my body to swim or tread water, with
little pain...Just a little heavy breathing until I got used to swimming
laps! Everything I do for exercise is "fun physical activity" At
night before bed, I do a few toning exercises such as a few situps and push
ups and leg lifts type thing...Nothing major...Just enough to make sure I
worked every muscle that day...In the morning I just do a few stretches to
pull out any sore muscles or just pull them out nicely. I never would have
imagined I'd walk without a cane again...Or that my arthritic knees would
ever give me peace...But I have no pain! I have no major malfunctions
except vitamin absorption...I lost 150 lbs and it's been 4 years. BUt the
health side was something I never imagined would be my trouble. Taking
vitamins was harder than losing weight and keeping it off and finding
something to do as activity. Yep...vitamins...The surgery requires a
commitment to your health...Once you begin to feel the quality of your
health improving greatly...You want more of it...and that alone is so
motivational, that no words can replace the feeling. You can do it with a
good attitude...Be a rebel against exercise! I am! But my biggest
motivation is finding things I love to do that burns calories just as well!
And let me tell you...For an old lady...I think I do nicely! I did all of
that from the same exact mental position you take in your post...I thought
that I didn't have anything to offer myself...Man ALIVE! I was wrong! I am
superwoman! Just take up a few activities that you like...Gentle hiking
thru the woods...I even bought a puppy so I would HAVE to get outside and
walk it! (What a pain in the butt!, but they give such amazing love too)
Once you get involved in your life...all you want to do is LIVE IT!!!! You
can do it if I can do it! I'll never be a little 120 lb woman...I like
being a solid 165 lb woman who sits at a computer most of the day...If I
told you all the amazing things I have done and accomplished in the last
four years...you'd never believe me...I hardly believe it myself. But you
are right...you have have to be your own avocate for life...and if you
don't want to enjoy being thin and healthy in exchange for giving up a
sedentary lifestyle...Then your are right...why bother if you have no plans
to live your life anyway...right? WRONG!!!! Just do it! AND live the life
you deserve to live!
— .Anita R.
April 14, 2008
Rick, I can totally relate. I was not someone who liked to exercise
either. However, once you have had the surgery ( I am 6 weeks post op)
once I started to see results I wanted to do more. Now that I am down even
just the 25 pounds I feel so much better and can move around better. I
don't mind getting up and doing something. Not to mention the types of
foods we eat now are not the same carbs and starches that make us lethargic
and drag. Hope this helps. I think you will want to get out and do things
with family and friends more once more weight comes off.
— redlilies
April 14, 2008
Rick,
I completely understand where you are coming from. I don't enjoy exercise
whatsoever, I just do it because I know it is the right thing for me to do
to reach my goals. I've never been blessed with having that elusive
"high" some people experience after exercise, I just experience
sweat and exhaustion initially. After a while, the pounds started coming
off and I felt better. I don't count on motivation or willpower, I just do
what I have to do to reach my goals as much as I can. Back to the basics
with my LapBand- 3 meals, no snacks and move at least 10 minutes per day.
Once I have one good day, I think maybe I can have another one, and so on.
After I'm on track for a few days or so, the motivation to have more good
days starts to show up. I don't feel like it is EVER a waste of time to
fight this disease of obesity. I too have struggled with being obese my
entire life. I had surgery 08/03/06 and lost 135# in 10 months. I thought
I had it down and then my father became very ill and I allowed old habits
of being sedentary and anesthetizing myself with food to creep back in.
Unfortunately I suffered the consequences and gained a significant amount
of weight that I am now in the process of re-losing. The whole thing
revolves around my coping mechanisms and dealing with stress. If I use
food as a coping mechanism, I will get what I have always gotten, fat and
misery. I try to remember that there will always be stress, that life is
hard and I will always have to make choices of how to deal with life's
curveballs. I still have a long way to go, I try to do the best I can one
hour, one meal, one day at a time. I use the support of my family,
friends, support group and OH every day. Remember, we are in this for
life. We will have relapses, setbacks and strife, we have to find the
strength from within to get back on track and keep moving forward. What's
happened in the past is in the past, focus on what you can do and will do
to make your life better. You're the only one who can do it.
Good luck,
Dawn Vickers, RN, BLC
— DawnVic
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