Question:
Scared to go back to work

I'm down 29 lbs in a month, but as it gets closer to going back to work I get scared. I dont want to hear those negative comments...thats all you've lost!! I can't tell that you've lost any weight..I work with a negative group and I'm just not in the mood for them. How do I handle these negative comments that I know are coming??    — B W. (posted on December 11, 2002)

December 11, 2002
Ask if any of them have lost that much in that same period of time. That should shut them up. Of course, you don't have to answer any of their questions if you don't want to. Or you could be more vague and just say "I've exceeded my expectations" or "I've lost a lot" and not give an exact figure. If they pressed for a figure, I'd say I haven't weighed myself this week, so I don't know. I'd always say "I can't see a difference yet, but I've lost a lot on the scales" and that would cut people off at the pass, by me saying it before them.
   — Darlene P.

December 11, 2002
B, my heart goes out to you! I hope people aren't as negative as you're expecting, but I know from reading this board that many people are, unfortunately. It's easy to say ignore their comments, but if things get tough, I'd suggest you just say, "Give it time, I'm still healing up," smile, and refuse to discuss details with them. Time WILL tell like nothing else does, as far as your success goes. It might also be a good idea not to discuss exact weight loss numbers with them if you think letting them know numbers will just put more pressure on you. Also, you can say you've had the surgery to help you keep the weight *off* permanently, not necessarily to lose it at a record-setting pace. (Of course, we all want the fastest weight-loss record, too, but some of us also hold the record for shortest time at goal and fastest regain!) Time will tell on that, too. *SMILE!* No matter what they say, you have your new Super-Pouch. Try to take care of it, and you, not the expectations of others, and you'll do fine! Good luck to you.
   — Suzy C.

December 11, 2002
I felt the same way when I was ready to go back to work. I didn't think anyone would actually come out and say what they were thinking, but I felt like I had not lost enough for it to be noticeable. I had lost 28 pounds in the 6 weeks I was out. To me that was just a drop in the bucket to what I needed to lose. I was really afraid someone might say something mean and hurt my feelings. Just the opposite happened. Everyone gave me hugs and told me how good I looked and how they could really tell I was losing weight. I even had some of my worst enemies tell me how brave they thought I was for having the surgery. Don't worry about it - I'm sure you'll be just as surprised as I was. Hope for the best, expect the worst and take what comes - hopefully it will all be positive.
   — Margaret G.

December 11, 2002
Hi there, B! If they say anything, tell them that your surgeon only expected you to lose 10-15 lbs! I know most say about 15-20 the 1st couple of months, so you almost doubled that! Vi.... open RNY 9/23/02 -79lbs.
   — Vi F.