Question:
Young, single, socially active - anyone had trouble adjusting post-op?

Hello all, I am wondering if there are any other young single folks out there who prior to WLS had a social life that involved things that seem out of the question post-op? I understand all of the changes I will have to make in my life, but I want to know how others have dealt with maintaining their youthful lifestyle? As a single girl in NY, my weekends often consist of dinners and drinks with friends, going out to bars and clubs, summer bbq's, birthday parties,...my vacations are usually partying in places like the Carribbean or Las Vegas. Even on quiet nights, we'll usually have a get together at someone's apartment for pizza and beer. It's is not so much that I will have to give up these things, but I know from my past, that when I have been on serious diets I tend to hibernate at home to avoid the temptation and I end up getting depressed - like I am missing all of the fun. I know this may seem really trivial to some of you, but it my lifestyle...and it is my friends' lifestyles and god knows I can't change all of my friends to suit my needs! Please help me...this is really the only thing that I am still worried about.    — PaulaM (posted on August 26, 2001)

August 26, 2001
Oh how I love to party! My best friend and I did this together and we are both the kind who love to go out... drinking... dinners, etc. I am in my second post op week (seems like a lot longer! lol) and I am surviving. The think that keeps me going is remembering all the times I go out - yeah, I have a BLAST, I always do. But how many times did I look around the bar and club and envy the thinner girls? How many times did I go to the bathroom to check my makeup and stand next to another girl and look like King Kong compared to her? I am 6 feet tall so I am big anyway. I know that those days will come again, but they will be even better. I'll feel better about myself. Think of all the different things you will be able to wear when you go out next year. I think of this time as a "vacation" from the active social life. Sure I'll still go out, but I'm saving my energy for next year when I'll really need it ;) I will still drink IN MODERATION, but I won't have to drink as much. I feel like the reason I used to drink so much when I went out is because I have low self confidence/self esteem and once I feel good about myself I won't have to use alcohol to "loosen up". I'll still be a social butterfly, but I know I'll have a lot more fun. Don't give up your friends, or your good times. Just take it a little easier. Keep picturing next year. You won't even remember the time you had to "sit back" a bit - you'll be too busy having a ball.
   — Jen S.

August 26, 2001
Dont worry about that at all, you would be suprised how people do not notice how little I eat, I think they used to notice how much I used to eat But normal people waste alot of food so now you will be like everyone else throwing away 1/2 a slice of pizza. And as far as drinking beer, I can drink like the old days I am 6 months post op lap rny and Im sure this will be controversial on this site BUT BEER DOES NOT AFFECT ME ANY DIFFERENT NOW THAN IT DID BEFORE AND MY SURGEON SAID OTHER THAN THE CALORIES (IN LIQUID FORM) IT WOULD DO NO MORE DAMAGE TO US NOW THEN IT DID PRE OP HE ALSO SAID AND I QUOTE "YOU HAVE TO LIVE", so party on!!!! and have a coldy for me!!!
   — [Anonymous]

August 26, 2001
It all depends on how important going through the WLS surgery and how important losing weight is to you. If you go through the process of this surgery...why mess it up by eating and drinking things you shouldn't. You can still go out hand have fun. Socializing isn't so much eating and drinking as it is just being with friends. And if they are true friends they won't "make or force" you to eat or drink something you shouldn't, they will support you. If you want to eat and drink like everyone else, you might want to rethink having this surgery because you definitely will be depressed (AND very sick) after going through it and not lose weight. Good luck!
   — [Anonymous]

August 26, 2001
Oh please!!! Some people, I swear. I am 7 months post op and go out all the time.I don't think food is the culprit,it's how much you used to eat of it. Everyone should be able to have fun with friends and enjoy themselves. You don't give up your life just because you've had surgery,it's actually the other way around. I got my life back. I Love going out as before I was embarrased. At first it might be difficult adjusting but your body will get back to normal and now seven months out down 100 lbs. I can pretty much do what I could before.
   — Vel K.

August 27, 2001
Paula, everything will be fine. I am the same as you. I love to party. Its one of my favorite things. I am 6 weeks out and last week on my birthday I went out and had a great time. I drank tequila drivers all nite and danced my butt off. I use to do this weekly but since surgery I think Ill keep it to once a month until I get to goal. I think too much partying will slow down your WL but you can still have fun. I find beer and wine doesn't really get me where I want to be but mixed drinks do. I believe it has to do with the fact that I drink much slower now. But this will be all worth it. I am down 3 sizes already and really felt good about myself that nite. Just remember how wonderful your gonna look. The food won't be a problem because you just can't eat that much. Have fun and good luck.
   — [Anonymous]