Question:
What if I live with a person who eats a lot of food?

What if I live with a person who eats a lot of food? I am concerned because my boyfriend is an eater. I give him my leftovers and he finishes them no problem. I worry that because I am living with him now and I will after surgery I will get jealous of the quantity he consumes. Has anyone faced this problem? How did you handle it? Thanks for the help:-) Warm wishes to all.    — Sara A (posted on June 19, 2001)

June 19, 2001
I really don't think that it will be a problem for you. You'll be satisfied and full and will certianly get sick if you try to eat more. It's can pretty much stay the same just let him keep right on eating your leftovers, lol. Good luck.
   — Lisa B.

June 19, 2001
I don't think that is going to be a problem! I'm 6 weeks post op today and I could care less what anyone eats. In fact, "I could care less if I eat" and that is something for me! Food and smells are'nt quite as bad as they were, but when I do find something I like, I only eat till I'm satisfied and I can stay at the table while others eat and it does'nt tempt me in the least. I would'nt worry about it. I know you "think" it will bother you, but chances are it won't. ;)
   — Danmark

June 19, 2001
My husband can be an eater; at times. I have never once begrudged him for eating me under the table. Nor for eating things that I cannot. I have certain guidelines: no junk in the house is the main one. Neither one of us needs it. Otherwise, I usually give my leftovers to him. He has definately gained weight since my surgery LOL Seriouly though, this was totally about me! I dont feel jealous, or left out or any thing like that. I made this decision for me. Hubby is not morbidly obese, so he can eat whatever his little heart desires. I have no grudges. On the other hand, my sister's hubby had the surgery years ago and she hasnt been able to enjoy a meal with him since... He is selfish. He scoffs down and runs to the bathroom to vomit while she is left there to eat alone. He wont even sit at the table with her. I think that that is extremely selfish. At the end of a day, you should spend that time with your family, talking aobut the day and sharing a meal. I thank God that I never became on anti-social eater.
   — [Anonymous]

June 19, 2001
I used to eat large quantities of food for two reasons: 1) I just loved to eat! 2) I always had this sense of "get it out of the house - now!", with the good intention of starting yet another diet once all the yummies were gone. Kinda like a 'last hurrah'. <p> Now, almost 11 months post-op, there are only one or two times that I remember bumming about not being able to eat like I used to. Once was recently when I had my first BBQ of the season...I wanted a lot of everything! But by the time I finished half the hot dog and a tablespoon of tuna mac and baked beans, I simply didn't want anymore food. I didn't even want a piece of birthday cake and ice cream. That's how WLS is. Grand, ain't it?
   — Allie B.

June 19, 2001
Sara, it's been almost 4 years since I had my first WLS and over a year since my revision. There have only been a handful of times when I wish I could eat an unrestricted amount, usually when I'm at a Chinese buffet LOL! But those casual thoughts have immediately been followed by remembering where I was physically when I could eat huge quantities. I have never resented others abilities to outeat me and am quite used to handing over what is left on my plate. After all, once you've had enough you don't WANT any more of it. If it is something that I truly love then I will put it away and declare it off limits for later but this is only seldom. I truly don't think it will be as big of a problem as you might think right now. Good luck!
   — Kellye C.

June 19, 2001
My husband & I were both volume eaters pre-op. I had surgery in 1994. I was AMAZED at the sensation of freedom from food I had! Wow, me, in charge, at last. I helped that by cooking lots of things I don't like. Of course, I don't like much, so that's easy, but I went out of my way to cook things he could indulge in that woudln't even tempt me. I could make a small portion of what I wanted, if anything. Often I just accompanied his food meal with a protein supp. No big deal, as I was losing and he was gaining. Of course, he joined me a year later, with the added wt gain. There's something about the taste of success that puts will power just where you thought you didn't have it. Or stops the urge from occuring in many cases. I do not feel as if I have lived a deprived life AT ALL these past 7 years. I was deprived CONSTANTLY while dieting, and this is way easier. I've only pouted about a tiny pouch 2 or 3 times, usually 4th of July. Love that whole BBQ/picnic scene! But really, for the freedom I have now? There is NOTHING that tastes better than this!
   — vitalady

June 20, 2001
OK, I have to offer a differing opnion, no - experience. I had my surgery 5/21/01 (distal RNY) and I live with a huge eater, my husband. In fact he's morbidly obese and in denial. After my surgery it became evident that I have, and always had, compulsive eating disorder. One of the anonomous posts below mentioned about how important it was for him/her to eat as a family; to not be an "antisocial" eater. That's all fine & good FOR YOU. But for me, being an "antisocial" eater is something I HAVE TO BE right now, or risk major complications. I don't begrudge my husband eating because I know he has to eat. I think he's also a compulsive overeater, but he has to get to a point, in his own time, when he's ready to do something about his eating/weight. I won't nag him. But because I have a food compulsion AND I had the surgery, I don't have the option of binging. I do get resentful of him eating, and I feel very deprived (ever since surgery, so for 4 weeks now), but that's the eating disorder taking over my mind. Either he has to leave & eat out, or I have to sit outside or go for a walk when he's eating in the house. And no temptation foods such as icecream are allowed in the house AT ALL. This is the way it has to be until I can get control over myself. I am starting couseling for my eating disorder very soon. So, what I'm trying to say is, all the other posts seem to say that they had no problem whatsoever. You may find yourself to be like me - craving food from day one. If you find yourself like that, and have strong urges to eat even though you know what too much food can do to your pouch, GET HELP IMMEDIATELY!!! Counseling works, but only if you seek it. Because if you are a compulsive overeater, you will still be one after surgery. It's in the mind. It doesn't mean insanity. It's just an addiction just like ones for alcohol, nicotine, etc. The only thing is in this case, food binging and a tiny stomach don't go together. But keep in mind, there IS help available! I wish you alot of luck and I hope after your surgery, you're like the others, not like me.
   — [Anonymous]