Question:
Did anyone lose libido after surgery?

I am four months post and have lost 75 pounds. I have no desire for sex with my husband. He is a great man and has been totally supportive. Pre surgery, we had sex atleast once a week. Now, he is looking for it about 3 times a week and I am in NO MOOD. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm hoping that it will pass. Thanks    — [Anonymous] (posted on January 11, 2001)

February 11, 2001
I am experencing the same thing. I am 5 1/2 months post-op but have benn going through this virtually since the surgery. I have found that not only do I not have nay desire for my spouse but I don't even have any mental desire (fantasies) about ANYONE or feelings of EVER wanting to have sex AGAIN. I am getting quite concerned as I know it is driving a wedge between my husband and I but don't feel I want to 'compromise' MY feelings to 'soothe' him. I am going back into therapy and also have an appointment with my GYN early next month and am hoping these two things may help the situation. I have lost about 65#s since surgery and don't "feel" any more desirable so don't know if this is mental or physical.
   — [Anonymous]

February 12, 2001
This sounds exactly like a post I made about one month ago!I know exactly how you feel! Right around the four month mark, I also lost my libido and hubby's was ripe. In addition to the surgery and losing 70 pounds, I began taking birth control. I honestly believe my hormones were going haywire. So, I went to my GYN.. He had no good answers for me. I decided to go off the Loestrin and my libido has returned! I recommend a blood work up. Please email me if you want to talk about this further! HUGS
   — Jeannet

February 12, 2001
Yes, yes & yes. So glad you asked. Actually the mental desire to be with a man is still there but prior to surgery I had no problems acheiving orgasm rather quickly but post surgery it takes me forever or not at all. I am 8 mos post-op & had a panniculectomy. Personally, I think some important nerves were messed with down there but my GYN doesn't agree. She just thinks I need to allow my body time to heal, that it's still under a lot of stress. My surgeon's PA just told me that I am worrying too much...Easy for her to say....I doubt this helped you but I really needed to vent on this subject....good luck to you.
   — [Anonymous]

February 13, 2001
Ah, we women are such a hormonal group:) Lack of sex drive can come from so many things. One thing to remember is that our bodies are changing so rapidly that our self-concepts need to catch up. Alos, estrogen is stored in fat- lose fat rapidly, estrogen gets lost- you get hormonal and your body is so confused! Give yourself some time and when your body starts breathing again after working so hard at losing weight, it will get better. I know- I went through the same thing and now am past it- I am down 130 pounds, 23 from goal, and enjoy my hubby more now than I ever did before. Hang in there- this too shall pass:)
   — M B.

April 5, 2001
For me, it was just the opposite. I used to never want sex, but after a couple of months post-op, my drives came back, and then some.
   — [Anonymous]

July 17, 2001
I just read the answer posted on 2/11 and my thoughts as a husband are "You had BETTER consider his needs!" She didn't want to "compromise her feelings just to 'soothe' him". How selfish! Marriage is about GIVE and take. Please understand, I in no way feel that anyone should be truely unfair to themselves or be a martyr, putting their spouses needs completely above their own, but barring that, if you're not being put in any pain or seriously inconvieanced, you'd better consider what your spouse needs, and I don't just mean sex. Does he want to go drive an hour to get your pain medication? NO! But he'll do it because what you need is more important that what he wants! Thats what it's about. If all you're thinking about is what's in it for you, you've got a lot more problems that weight loss! This, by the way, is much more a rant for the person who posted than the one asking the question. Best of luck with finding your answers.
   — [Anonymous]

April 17, 2002
I am experiancing the same thing. I am about 4 months post-op. I have no desire to be intimate with my hubby, but he seems to want it like crazy now!! I know that most women would feel flattered that their hubby wants them so much. And I do. I just don't want it for some reason. I think that in the past, being with my hubby was a good way for me to feel wanted and special. This is still true, but the thinner me is getting so much more out of life that I do not rely on sex for those feelings anymore. I am hoping this will pass. I definately still want him. I do feel alot of it IS hormones. Thanks for posting your question. I thought I was the only one with this problem. Good luck.
   — linda B.