Question:
Anyone find themselves afraid to succeed?

I am about 25 pounds from goal and find myself doing everything that I know is wrong. Sugar...no protein...no exercise...etc. I have not gained at all but have quit losing....big shock I am sure. I am thinking that I am secretly afraid of succeeding. That maybe, if I am a normal weight for the first time in my life, I will not have the fat to blame on life's disappointments. Have I lost my mind or does anyone else know what I am talking about?    — [Anonymous] (posted on December 4, 2000)

December 4, 2000
I know what you are talking about, but I'm not sure that I can offer any advice. I know from past experience that once you reach a lower weight you are living differently in the world because the world reacts differently to you. For me thinner was once 200 pounds. When I go below that weight, I will be in uncharted territory and sometimes that will be terrifying and sometimes it will be merely disorienting. Try to get back on to your routine. Perhaps going back to clear liquids for 4 days, and full liquids for four days to clear your system physically and emotionally. I suspect you are just trying to find your equilibrium. You may want to work for a time with a counselor to help adjust to your new physical presence.
   — Nanette T.

December 4, 2000
I do! I am at a point I haven't been for MANY years and I am afraid! I do what Nan suggests when I get whacked out food wise- I go on clear liquids for 4 days, full liquids for 4 days, then pureed for 4 days. It helps me get the sugar out of my system and start seeing clearly again. I seem to get refocused after it (I have only done it once, but it really helped!) I think what you (and I) are going through is normal- getting through it will bring about the changes in ourselves in such a way that we won't have to be afraid ever again- we will have worked through it- so hang in there girl- you can do it!!
   — M B.

December 4, 2000
I'm still pre-op, but I hear you!!! This is my biggest fear ... dealing with the emotional want for food and the self-sabotage. This may not be for you ... but it helps me to talk issues out with my psychologist. It helps me see the deeper issues and to get back on track. Be good to yourself!!! You are an inspiration to me!!!
   — cynthiaellis

December 4, 2000
The last (pre-surgery) time I got anywhere within a country mile of my goal weight -- it was in mid-1990, when I lost 100 pounds and was wearing size 12 for the first time in about ten years -- I made darn sure I got pregnant right away. I just couldn't deal at all. Well, the husband's been fixed, so having a baby is entirely out of the question, unless I'd like to spend a lot of time explaining how this came about. "Success" in weight loss is a scary concept -- scarier, in my opinion, than failure. I'm about 7-1/2 months post-op and down 115 pounds, and people treat me very differently than they did when I was heavy. It's like they suddenly noticed I was there, or something. And, because two bites more than I need of stuff makes me sicker than a dog, running to food for comfort is entirely out of the question. When we lose the weight, we have literally lost the walls we have built to keep the rest of the world at a comfortable distance. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP. Post on this website. Call a friend. Use your doctor's support group, if s/he has one. If you need to, see a therapist. Write in a journal. What has a name no longer has the power to hurt you, unless you give it some. You are a success, whether or not you ever lose that last 25 pounds. Hang in there, and enjoy the ride. Warm skinny thoughts always,
   — Cheryl Denomy

December 5, 2000
I know what your talking about. Having "the fat to blame on life's disappointments" is so much easier than taking a good long look in the mirror and sorting out the issues as they apply. Perhaps the way I was bullied in school did this to me, but when I would be in public and heard people laughing, I thought for sure they were laughing at me...I thought my boss hated me because I was fat...I thought the ex was mean to me because I was fat...and worse of all, deep down inside, I believed I deserved it. It took me years prior to WLS to reshape my thinking: those people are laughing at their own conversation! My boss was unhappy with my performance; could I improve it? The ex is a very unhappy alcoholic control freak. As it were, when I came to these conclusions, even at 278 lbs., people always treated me well: the public, my co-workers - and those that didn't, I divorced. So yes, fat was my crutch, and when I'm down, I battle it still. But, you can change how you think, you can change your emotions. But be prepared to learn a lot about yourself - you may find that being overweight had little to do with life's disappointments, other than it was easier to blame, rather than taking on emotional responsibility and the desire to change the outcome. Good luck to you.
   — Allie B.