Question:
Help me! I have been worrying my self sick!

I am 1 week out. I am having the post op blues everyone said I would have but...I am now worried about long term effects. I did tons of research before hand and was 100% sure but now I am worried about what will happen 10 - 20 years from now? Will I need re surgery? Will something rip? Tear? When I am 50 or 60? I know tons of people have had this surgery done so I need some words of comfort. My family is putting doubts in my mind! Please help me    — Heather K. (posted on September 18, 2000)

September 18, 2000
Heather ... relax. Ray's right -- in 10 or 20 years you WILL be a ton lighter and you WILL be a lot healthier. Heck, in ten or twenty WEEKS that will have started to happen already! You're in the "omigod what have I done?" post-op phase that (I'd venture) nearly ALL of us went through. That's all it is -- a phase -- and this, too, shall pass. Remind your family (politely, of course) that if they can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all -- and that you'd appreciate them keeping their negativity to themselves; you need positive energy in order to heal. If you know that your surgery was right for you, and you still believe that, you were right. Just go with it. Warm thoughts always --
   — Cheryl Denomy

September 18, 2000
Hang in there, Heather. It gets better I promise! You've passed the first big hurtle - having the surgery. As for your family, let them know in no uncertain terms that if they can't be helpful or supportive to go elsewhere with their opinions. You don't need their nonsense. Some people have the expectation that you're going to wake up in recovery looking like a supermodel. It doesn't work that way. When the weight starts coming off, they will notice. But don't be upset if they don't notice as quickly as you do. People are used to seeing us big, and even when we lose 20-30 pounds, we are still big. But you will see almost immediately how your clothes fit, how well you move, and how you feel. My mom was reasonably supportive but kept making comments like "but can you tell you've lost weight?". Eventually I told her not to make those comments to me anymore and that she should be more patient and less critical of the process. Now I am 4 montsh post op and have lost 76 pounds. I feel great, look great, and feel so much healthier (got totally off 2 of my meds and my CPAP machine). People at church come up to me every week now and compliment me not just on how I look but for taking control of my life and doing something about my health. And they are not just being nice - I look much lighter and have much more energy to do all the activities I like to do. One woman even told me I was "glowing"! One tip I will give you - once you start to lose enough weight that your clothes are really starting to hang, try to get some new wardrobe items. I know we don't want to spend a lot of money on clothes we may only be wearing for a few months (before we need another wardrobe change), but getting at least a few items will do several things. First, it helps your self-estemm tremendously. It feels so wonderful to put something back on the rack because it was too big! Not something I ever had to deal with before. Better fitting clothes also show your weight loss better and you'll see more people noticing it than if you wear really big, draping clothes. I cleaned out my closets this weekend. I am a pack rat, and it was always hard for me to part with clothes that I "may" wear some day. Well that some day has arrived, and even some of the smaller sized clothing was too big for me!!! Wonderful! I gave 3 bags of my clothes to a women's shelter I volunteer for regularly, and it felt great. Now I have a lot of space in my closet for new things that look good on me. I hit a bunch of sales over Labor day, so I was able to get quite a few items for very little money. Garage sales and flea markets are also good sources. Many times you can get stuff that someone has never worn. Hang tough, Heather. Don't worry about what will happen in 50-60 years. None of us can. Do what you can to make today and tomorrow better, and you will see your quality of life improve dramatically. If you really take this to heart, I think you'll find that your blues and anxiety will go away. Enjoy your new life - you have a lot ahead of you! :):):)
   — Paula G.

September 18, 2000
Hi! I have been where you are. I had several complications. I knew at the time that I had made the biggest mistake of my life by having surgery. As what would have happened 10-20 years down the road, I would have been dead from the chronic pancreatitis that the surgery cured. I still questioned the surgery for at leased 3 months. I had major depression, that medication mildly eased. I'm still having a hard time of it. I am 5 months post-op. And my incision has just closed this week. I've reached my goal weight (140#), and no longer take insulin, or cholesteral meds. I have a new lease on life. Please try not to worry about things you have no control over. It is going to be a major change in your life, and in the lives of your family. I wish you all the best, and if I can be of any assistance, please let me know. God Bless you -
   — CohenHeart

September 18, 2000
Yup, Heather, you're pretty much right on schedule. (Well, the same schedule I was on! HA!) At about 1 1/2 weeks post-op I thought WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!! I was really angry watching other people eat....seeing food and restaurant commercials, heck, even the grocery store ads! It didn't last too long, however, and time has a way of healing that particular wound. I'm now almost 14 months post-op and I've lost 120 pounds. What a blessing! When you start to doubt this decision, try and think back to the process you went through leading up to your decision to have WLS. Remember all the feelings you had, the health problems and concerns, the way people dealt with you based on your weight, and the joy you felt when you discovered that this COULD be changed, that life COULD be different. Try and be patient while the change takes place. Be good to yourself, be in touch with the changes happening in your body and your mind and your spirit. When your friends/family/whomever feel they need to comment on your surgery, be patient when they become negative. They do it out of ignorance, after all, they don't know what it's like to be YOU. Try and respond with kindness, whenever possible, so they can be educated on the plight of the obese and how WLS can change a life. Be patient, things will look better to you soon. I promise! Good luck and God bless. Jaye Carl, RN, open proximal RNY (divided) 7-29-99, starting weight 300, currently 180. I look like my Mother now.....LOL! Or maybe I just look like me???
   — Jaye C.