Question:
Please help
Hi. I'm sorry to post this again. I don't know why I'am. I will probably get booted out of here! Anyway, my surgery is in June, and lately, I have these feelings like I'm going to die from this surgery. If not during, then afterwards. I keep getting these "signs" about me dying. I know, sounds pretty weird huh? I do know that you can make yourself have signs if you want to. I'm scared!!! How can I be more positive? What are my chances of dying from a blood clot? I will see my doctor tomorrow and I plan to discuss this with him. The blood clot issue I mean. The dying issue....he might think I'm a little weird and cancel surgery. I DO believe in God and pray every night. What else can I do? Can anyone give me some advice? Am I crazy? Thanks! — [Anonymous] (posted on May 25, 2000)
May 25, 2000
This sounds familiar. Michele Curran had offered to arrange for paid
pallbearers because I got so morbid and anxious pre-op. Many of us go thru
exactly the same thing. I distinctly remember standing at my kitchen sink
humming and hearing this screaming voice howling "your going to die
you idiot, what are you doing!", and other similar incidents. I
really never had 'anxiety' before, and didn't do a good job of recognizing
it. IMHO, this is major surgery and in commiting to it, we all confront
the possibility of our death, as well as mourn the departure of our old,
comfortable & comforting lifestyles. I think your reacting is
perfectly normal, and many of us have gone thru it. Please email me at any
time if I can help.
— Toni B.
May 25, 2000
I, too, have been struggling with these feelings. I was ready to cancel a
few days ago. Now my blood sugars are going crazy and I remember why I
wanted this surgery. My diabetes is going to kill me if I don't have this
surgery! I remember that the whole reason for this surgery is my health!
I know it sounds ironic, but the whole reason for 99% of us having this
surgery is to improve our health and we should thank God that he has
provided us with a way that works! Keep the faith, I'm going to start
taking Xanex!!!
— Diana F.
May 25, 2000
I remember worrying about dying too. I bought a CD Rom with
wills on it and wrote one before I went under. I had a fear
about leaving my kids. I wanted everything to be in order.
I prayed alot about the decision. I had decided if I didn't
get approved by insurance, it was a sign for me to go back
to dieting etc. Too be honest I was scared but finally put
it all in the Lord's hands and stepped up to the plate and
now I'm batting a 1000. Yes, it's a risk, but my health was
deteriorating, my quality of life was suffering. I had to do
something. I agree with Ray, go talk to your doc about these
feelings and some medication may help you. You need to have
a positive attitude going in and a desire to change the rest
of your life. It's worth it! Love and prayers to you.
Lou Ann (Open RNY 1/13/00 down 64 pounds)
— Lou Ann J.
May 25, 2000
I agree completely with everything Toni,Ray and Lou Ann have offered, and
no, you're not crazy. We all have these fears to some degree, and we all
have different coping mechanisms and different faith traditions to get us
through these moments. Be completely frank with your surgeon, be open to
accepting medication to combat this anxiety if that's what he recommends,
and determine that you're clear in your mind that this surgery is "THE
answer" to regaining new health, new energy and new life. For me, it
was clear that the surgery was the only and the last option. I came to a
place where I knew that I would die or become severely disabled without
it...and actually said to my family and my PCP that if, in the worst-case
scenario, I were to die during this surgery, the decision to have it would
still have been the right decision. It was at that moment that I placed the
entire issue in God's hands and never looked back. My surgery was in
March, couldn't have gone more smoothly and 50 lbs. are gone forever
(something I could never have said before!). I know that we are all
holding you in our thoughts and prayers and wish you the very best.
— Diana T.
May 25, 2000
You are having the same exact feelings we all had before surgery.....I went
so far as to write good-bye letters to everyone that I loved.....on the
drive to the hospital my husband almost stopped and turned around to take
me back home because I was crying so much....but rest assured ..you are not
going crazy...it is pre-op jitters....you will be surprised how calm you
will feel the morning of the surgery....just keep the thought that this is
the beginning of the new you...a new , healthier, happier you....you will
be in my prayrs and only positive , happy thoughts will be going out for
you.....looking forward to hearing from you post -op.....welcome to the
other side .....Your sister in WLS, Pamela Leach
— pam.leach
May 26, 2000
Well, I too had a response to your question.
I sent it about 2 hrs ago and it still is not
posted...as usual anymore! Any how..my thoughts
and prayers are w/ you. I will be facing this
in mid July, too. {{Hugs}}
— kathy S.
May 26, 2000
No, you are NOT weird. Blood clots are very serious and should be addressed
with your surgeon. He should do all possible to assure you that they will
take all possible pre-cautions to prevent them. Hey...that's what this web
site is for support! We will be praying for you concerning your surgery and
that you will have peace of mind.
— Linda Y.
May 26, 2000
Just a note of warning: DO NOT GET ADDICTED TO XANAX!!!! I know people use
it, but it is highly addiction (it is synthetic valium) and the first thing
it does for you is lower your inhibitions. You will feel GREAT but you may
do things you wouldn't normally do! I Know this from experience! Talk to
your doctor, you need some reassurance just like all of us!
— Cindy H.
May 26, 2000
Try to relax as much as possible and KEEP Praying!I know how scary this is
sometimes for all of us but if you just put everything(all fears) in God's
hands and on his shoulders you will see a difference. When you get doubtful
pray about it for strength and guidance. I have to do this too. Sometimes I
get scared and can't sleep and I just have to hand it over to someone who
can give me some relief from it. Good luck and I am sure you will do fine.
I am scheduled for June 19th and am really looking forward to getting
started and getting this weight off for me and my whole family. If you need
someone to talk to for support or just someone to lean on I am here. Email
me at [email protected]
— jodysgirl
May 26, 2000
I wish I could give you a big hug. You poor thing, you do not have think
that you are weird. Fear is real and at least you have reached out. You
are among people who care for you. Pray and also converse with your
doctor, I am sure the doctor can put your mind to ease. Look at all the
wonderful people on here that have had the surgury and lived. The death
rate is very low. The doctors really do not even hardly sprak of it. Just
keep thinking of your new thin life and when you are scared start thinking
of all the things you want to do as sonn as you get the weight off. Why
you will be so excited about that you will not have to think of death, hey
death to the fat no you. ONE BIG HUG and a kiss on the forehead.
— Kim W.
May 26, 2000
Please talk to a counselor about this. You are not wierd, and your
feelings are normal. We are here to support you but I think you also need
something on the professional side. As has been mentioned, perhaps you
could get some medication to help calm yyou down a bit. Many people have
this same kind of anxiety. Hang in there.
— Paula G.
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