Question:
Message Re: Smoking
I just want to say to some of the more militant anti-smoking people out there: If you can't show some empathy how about a little sympathy? Telling a smoker things like "You just don't care about your health" and "Just quit" Are really the same as when some unfeeling skinny person told you that you must not care about your health because if you did you'd just quit eating so much. There may be different reasons people are obese just as there are many different reason people smoke. But it bothers me when I read some of these posts. Some people have more than one demon to battle. — [Anonymous] (posted on November 27, 1999)
November 27, 1999
Thank you for that. I agree 100%.
— [Anonymous]
November 27, 1999
What a beautiful way of putting into words the fact that so many of us are
not tolerant. What kills me is how the same people who plead for mercy and
understanding are the same ones who judge and execute others...no matter
what the topic. Why can't we all just get along?!?!
— [Anonymous]
November 27, 1999
Excellent! Very well said.. I applaude you! I'm having surgery this
coming Wednesday (Dec. 1st) and I stopped smoking Thanksgiving day! I'm
having quite a hard time with "this demon" and I'm glad there's
someone out there that can relate to my feelings! Thanks!
— Peri B.
November 27, 1999
Well done. We very seldom see our selves in others or correlate the one
problem with another. I have been a non-smoker for years, but I
sympathize. There is nothing worse than a fool with a cause. Being
judgemental is offensive, as all we weight challenged should know. Good
luck and God speed
— Jen L.
November 27, 1999
hurray for you...i sure to agree. i started smoking again after quiting for
12 yrs. No one needs to preach to me, i've heard it all. I will quit again
soon,my own way.We all have our vices, and problems, so unless you are
asked for your opinion, or we are smoking and blowing smoke in your
face,....please keep the comments to yourself....thanks
— [Anonymous]
November 27, 1999
Quitting smoking was the hardest thing I have ever, ever done. I quit
many, many times. I have not smoked for almost 10 years and lately
everytime I smell smoke I want a cigarette. I could start smoking in a
second and be up to 3 packs a day again in no time. I've lost my mother
recently and I used to turn to smoking to avoid experiencing alot of
emotions-- I think that sometimes I am a jerk about people smoking,
because I want to smoke so badly and I'm afraid that I'll give in.
In my dreams, I am always smoking!!! (my nurse told me this would end after
a few years, but it didn't).
ONe of the many tools I used that helped me to stope and stay
"quit" was a book put out by smokeenders -- I think that is also
the title. There are so many behavioral, emotional, physical aspects tied
into smoking -- this helped me address all of them.
You'll quit smoking when you want to -- or you wont. I know how difficult
either choice is.
— Toni B.
November 28, 1999
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT!!!! One addiction is no different than
another!!!!
— tipdawg1
November 28, 1999
I happen to be one of those people who has been addicted to
a wide variety of substances, including alcohol, tobacco and
a number of illegal drugs. There is nothing easy about becoming
clean, sober and smoke free, and it took me many attempts before
I was successful in 1983(it only happened then because I finally asked
my God for help).
Food is also an addiction for many of us, and the more difficult to
deal with, as we HAVE to have it every day. There is no avoiding food,
as we can avoid drugs, alcohol, etc. I feel blessed to have recently had
WLS, and spent much time researching and preparing for the surgery and
change in lifestyle it would require. Another focus was on doing all I
could to make my recovery as smooth and uneventful as was in my power.
My surgeon requires that all prospective WLS patients be smoke free for
six weeks pre-op; the benefit is all the patient's.
I don't want to lecture ... I do want you to see how others might feel.
If you are willing to undergo major surgery so you can regain your health,
why not do your best to quit smoking pre-op? It will be SO much easier
for you post-op! Back in 1980 I smoked 3+ packs a day, and had fairly
minor surgery; the only problem? I'd put out my last smoke coming through
the hospital doors early that morning. I was one sick puppy after that
surgery,
and have no one but myself to blame.
Of course, it's your choice. But please, when people suggest you quit
pre-op,
ask yourself what they would get out of it. Everyone on this site seems
VERY
supportive, and does their best to encourage everyone else. Maybe instead
of
getting a bit defensive, you could a: take what you want from posts and
ignore the
rest, or b: take a few minutes to figure out just why smoking is so
important to
you, and if the benefits outweigh the hazard.
When I was a bartender, I recall some folks betting I couldn't go 24 hours
without a
drink; naturally, I said 'no problem!' Needless to say, they won the bet,
and it wasn't
enough to get me to take a long hard look at what I was doing.
Whatever adjustments you are making to your way of life with the goal of
being healthier
and more active, I applaud you. Keep up the good work, and ignore comments
you
feel are judgemental. None of us is perfect.
— [Anonymous]
November 28, 1999
Hi Barb: I just wanted to say in response to your comments ... I do not
agree at all with this person who posted this ... nor the original
question, nor do I agree with your comment to keep my/our opinions to
ourselves. When someone posts a question in a public forum, they should
expect and will get responses to their post. The person didn't say ... I am
addicted to smoking and I just can't quit ... they very defyingly stated,
they enjoy smoking and have no desire or intention to quit, in spite of
their surgeon's requirement for his/her patients to quit smoking pre-op,
for their own health and well being. What this person wanted, in my
opinion, is for everyone to say ... NO, NO BADDDDD SURGEON, he shouldn't
ask such a stupid thing of his patients. Instead, most everyone agreed
with the medical advice and tried to explain to the person, that it was for
their own good to quit. I am certain that the response would've been far
more empathetic and/or sympathetic if the person said something like ...
"I'm at my wits end ... I've tried everything, I cannot stop smoking
... what in the world am I going to do!? The surgeon won't do the surgery
unless I can quit smoking ..." Just my two cents worth and then some.
But I know I would've responded with far more empathy, if it had sounded
like the person wanted help ... not that they were trying to find an excuse
not to follow the doctors instructions. If they won't follow the doctors
instructions even temporarily to quit smoking pre-op so they can recover
post-op ... Why would the surgeon have any reason in the world to believe
that the person would be compliant where their recovery from the weight
loss surgery was concerned?
— Sherrie G.
February 2, 2003
I just want to say well put by you. I really get tired of being judged for
my bad habits. Like those people whom judge don't have any bad habits of
their own.
CB
— pooh59
February 2, 2003
I agree as well! I didnt see the particular post you are referring to, but
I do think that the entire objective of this site is to "support"
each other, as we are all in the same boat! And yes, I more than agree with
the statement about telling someone to "just quit" smoking is the
same as saying "just quit" eating! Easier said that done!!
Stopping the eating habits are in our best interest just as much as
stopping smoking habits!
On that note, I am 29 and I have smoked since I was 16! Got started for the
oldest reason in the book... "peer pressure"! Now as the years go
by i find it harder and harder to summon up the WILL to quit much less the
ability! But with this surgery I have learned that I will do a complete 360
on my entire way of life and the way i have done things for years!
Including the smoking! I cant lie to myself, so I wont lie to you.... I
enjoy smoking! HOWEVER, I have allowed the "habit" to become a
need! I smoke the most when I am on the computer, on the phone, or driving!
maybe i should stay home..... disconnect the phone, and throw out the
computer!!! haha!! NAH!!! haha!
But seriously, I have tried the patch and it only made me sick! The
gum..... might as well buy Bubble-Yum, its about as effective!!! My doctor
said "Just do it cold turkey!"...... Uh, yea.... OK....
RIIIIGHT!!! if it were that easy for me, i wouldnt be a smoker, now would
I???
At the same time I realize that if I really WANTED to quit, i could! Well,
when GOD was passing out "will power"... I thought he said
"power bill" and i said "THANKS, BUT NO THANKS!"!!
Smoking is a nasty habit, and yes, i could be doing something worse.....
but i know its still not good!
if anyone has any advice, I welcome it!!
Ok, I'll be quiet now! thanks everybody!!
— Tracy S.
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