Question:
Is it possible that I look thin even though I'm not at goal?

Or do you think I'm just deluding myself. Am 5'2 1/2 now at 164. I fit into a size 12. I feel like I look great. Have gotten a lot of compliments, however, after having lost 66 pounds, I'm sure I look better. How do you know if you just have a self image perception problem or you really do look good. I know I'm still classified as overweight on the BMI calculator. I have not lost any weight for about 2-3 months post rny (15 months). I exercise. I just can't be more compulsive about my diet. I'm tired of counting calories. Anyone who could offer advice, I'm willing to listen. Thanks. Carla    — [Deactivated Member] (posted on January 24, 2004)

January 24, 2004
I am not at goal, and I am amazed at how good I look. I am also a size 12 at 5'8" tall. I have 8lbs to goal but I have looked pretty good for the last 20lbs. I wasn't sure that I really looked good until fairly recently. Try going to www.myvirtualmodel.com It may help you get a better perspective of what you look like to others. It helped me. Also take a few pictures of yourself and look at them side by side with your old self. at MVM you can "build" a 3D model for free and get an idea of what you look like.
   — M B.

January 24, 2004
I get asked the question all the time "What is your goal weight?" my answer "I don't have one!" My goal is too feel good about myself, the way I look and feel. It's not about a number but about liking yourself. It sounds to me like you are feeling pretty darn good about yourself. I say GOAL!!!!!!!!
   — danagates

January 24, 2004
I too am 15 months post RNY. I know how you feel as I am estatic to be in size 12's and 10's. I think what really counts is that for the first time in our lives we are actually proud of the way we look. This is a very new experience for us. I like thinking and acting like my "thin" friends. I think the challenge for us now is learning to maintain, to be happy and adjusting to living life as a thin person. You are not deluding yourself, you are just experiencing what it feels like to be thin , if that makes sense. A positive self image is something we can all use! Be happy and congradulations!
   — cathy G.

January 24, 2004
I'm not at goal, a year out, I'm 5'2 and 142 and my goal was 130-135, but I had a major car accident and studied for two bar exams and started work fulltime as an attorney so I really haven't exercised much in the past year. I'm in a size 10 or 12 and would like to be 10 or 15 lbs lighter but I have to wait for that. I've thought I looked good for the past few sizes and am just happy not to be in plus sizes anymore.
   — susanje

January 24, 2004
I was at my sons last night and I saw some pictures of me taken day before surgery. I looked at them and said..I have not changed at all..My family went ape and finally they took some digital pictures and we held them side by side.. I could actually see the new me but my mind was seeing the fat me..weird..but not complaining..4 months post
   — Kathy S.

January 24, 2004
I think we're all in the same boat. I'm 5' tall, wearing a 14 petite, down from a 3x. In my head, I'm still fat, but when I catch a glimpse of myself in a store window or something, hey there, I'm not half bad! I think our heads just have to catch up with our bodies.
   — lorien

January 24, 2004
Boy, am I in the same boat. This "self image" issue is enough to drive one nuts, IF we allow it. I'm 16 months post-op, started 276, now 150, 5'3", 40 yo, and am now wearing an 8 petite (from a 26W). I STILL feel fat despite following my program with respect to eating (though I'm not 100%), in a vigorous exercise program (cardio and weights) 4x per week, and really down the water and vits. According to my surgeon, I'm 8 lbs from goal, but when I chat w/ women friends of the same stature and age, I'm surprised to see that their weight ranges from 125 lbs to 135 lbs. My initial aspiration had been to fit into 8/10s. Ok, I'm there, but continue to see "so much" fat on this body. I've tried to rely on the body fat scale more than the weight scale as I think it's a better judgment of health. According to the bio impediment scale (body fat), I'm still several points away from an "acceptable" body fat level. At 16 months, I'm experiencing a little fatigue with the strict program regimen, but have deep fear of letting up, so close (and then so far away) from goal. I do believe, like others have said, that we allow our "goal" to become elusive. While I certainly feel and look 1000% better than prior to surgery, it's difficult to be satisfied where I am, even after losing 93% of my "excess" weight. I've become obsessed with "getting there" to 100%. Asking others, how do we realistically gain perspective? You're doing great. Savor what you have accomplished and delight in it. All the best.
   — Kimberly L. A.

January 25, 2004
hi i was 312 now 185 and i am wearing size 16 bottoms and large tops i still need to be 30 lbs less but i think i look pretty good but need to get down to 175 than am going to have my body reconstruction surgery than i should loose 10 lbs in that surgery than i will be 10lbs from goal so that is what i am aming for i would like to be a 12 bottom and med top thats my goal . well good luck rosemary
   — ROSEMARY A.

January 25, 2004
hi.....i thought maybe i was the only one feeling this way. i am 5-3 and 175 pounds and even though am also still classified as over weight i dont want to get much smaller, i am wearing a size 12 and like the look of my body without the flab but am loving the curves...i think the idea that we have to be bone thin is over exaggerated.
   — Stephanie F.

January 25, 2004
Carla: I only have a thought. If you feel you look good than it really doesn't matter what any calculator says especially the BMI calculator. I learned just recently that the BMI calculates your entire body mass not just the fat, so for instance if you were 250 lbs with all muscle and not hardly an once of fat (for example Arnold Swartzinagier (SP?)), you would still be considered overweight. Arnold at his present weight is considered overweight but as any one can see he is not. Just a thought.
   — Virginia D.

January 26, 2004
I bet you do look great, and the compliments you have received say so. You can always ask a trusted friend or relative for an "honest" assessment of how you look. Sometimes we are not the best judges of our body image, often being too critical of ourselves. I'd say,though, that at size 12 you probably do look pretty good. I'm exactly like you in that I do NOT want to be compulsive about my diet. I do NOT count calories, fat grams or anything, just ensure that I eat good protein at every meal, supplement with shakes when I don't have protein at a meal and keep up with regular heart pumping exercise. Other than that, I do eat sweet treats every day and am not willing to cut them out to lose down to the doctors goal. At 5'3 I am 148-150 and mostly a size 10. To be where my surgeon wanted me to end up would be a size 6-8 and I'm just not interested in having to eat much less to maintain that small size. So, go ahead and enjoy where you are at and stop counting the calories! A note of caution though, weigh often enough so that you can ensure you do not gain. Its easy for it to get away from us and we have worked too hard to let it do so...
   — Cindy R.

January 26, 2004
Hi, Carla! (Love your name!) I'm sure you're not deluding yourself. You must look great after having lost 66 pounds. But, I realize we don't always "see" it. I don't either, but from all the compliments I've been getting, I guess it must be true. I've gone from my highest weight of 270 pre-surgery, to 254 day of surgery, down to 190 now. I started wearing 22 or 24 pants, and am wearing 16's now. I think it's wonderful, and if I never lost another pound, I wouldn't be unhappy at all. Not everyone is made to be "bone thin" and lots of people just don't look good that way. I had this surgery to feel better and be healthier, and that is happening. The number on the scale is not the most important thing, I feel. If you're feeling good, your health issues are improved, and you're happy, what else is there? I don't blame you for not wanting to count calories, and obsess about your diet. That's another reason I wanted this surgery - to be freed of the "diet" mentality. I eat my protein first, drink all my water, and take my vitamins, and try to work out several times a week. If that won't cut it, then so be it! Enjoy your new life, and make it what you want it to be.
   — Carlita

January 26, 2004
Hi, I just wanted to let you know that you and I are having the same issue. I am 5'11" and weigh 198, and I take a size 14 jeans. My BMI is like 27 or something, so I am still considered overweight too. At xmas my grandma was exclaiming that I must eat more and that I am too skinny. Then, a couple weeks ago my friend's mom said "What do you weigh now, 150?" LOL I was laughing pretty hard at that one. Then I told my boyfriend that I take size 14 jeans, and he was like "WHAT?? I thought you take like a size 8!!" Which once again threw me into a fit of laughter. I know that I have a self image perception problem, I was just typing about that in my journal on here. It's so hard to know what your body really looks like. Just like when we were still very overweight, most of us now say "I didn't realize I was THAT FAT!!" We are still dealing with the same thing, frustrating isn't it??
   — fropunka

January 26, 2004
Carla, I'm almost 7 months out and down 116# out of the 150# I want to lose. For the last two weeks, people have begun telling me not to lose any more weight, that I'm skinny enough. I know, however, something they don't: what I look like naked. Yes, some of my weight will have to be taken off via plastic surgery, but I'm determined to lose at least 25-30 more. I had a talk with my personal trainer, who is also a friend, and he told me that HE would know when I lost too much weight for it would affect my workout. I trust him more than the nay-sayers, so I'm going to keep on losing. My BMI is still in the overweight category, and I don't want to stay in that area. I want to be NORMAL! Listen to yourself and your physician,two people that know you best.--Gail Garcia
   — Gail G.

January 27, 2004
I find myself nodding in agreement with what so many people have posted--and shaking my head in amazement at the comments of some others. I can't imagine wearing a size 8 petite and still feeling like you're not at goal! Perhaps I'm not setting high enough standards for myself, but I'm ecstatically happy to be in a size 14 at 5'4"! After being a size 32 or 34 for so many years this is a dream come true. Yes, I'd like to be lower and wear a size 10 or 12, but if I don't get there I'm not going to complain--as long as I don't regain. That's an ever-present reality, as we all can see from reading the boards, and a genuine, realistic fear. I'd also love to get into the "normal weight" BMI, I'm right on the cusp of it now. As to how we look, that is really relative. People tend to think I'm a smaller size than I am, but I think it's because my shoulders are narrow. The important thing to me is that I feel NORMAL. "Normal," in our society, is not necessarily an ideal weight. I'm thinner than so many people now, instead of invariably being the fattest person in the room, and that gives me so much joy. Even if I never get to an ideal weight or size I still consider myself a success.
   — Celia A.

January 27, 2004
I hope I don't get flamed for my answer, but here goes:<br> <br> This is in response to the previous poster Celia Ann: I totally understand what you're saying about being very happy that you're at a size 14 at 5'4" height, and that it's more than you could have imagined, and you're not going to complain (congratulations, by the way, on your great success!). I am wearing a size 10, and yes, it's a real mind-blower! I last wore a size 10 as a high school senior (17 years ago, at 140 lbs.), and yes, it's very gratifying. <br> <br> HOWEVER, I can also relate to some of the other poster's comments. Now that I <b>am</b> in a size 10 and weigh 157 (a weight I thought I'd never see again in my lifetime), I can see that size 8 for me is maybe another 10-12 lbs. down the line. Taking an "objective" look at my body, I know that size 8 is probably not going to cut it for me. My upper arms are very fat (i would not wear a sleeveless shirt at this point), my belly still protrudes quite a bit and has a large overhang, and my thighs are really quite large as well. Seriously, I don't have body dysmorphic disorder - my body is really as i describe it. <br> <br> <b>Keep in mind that height really plays a major role in what your body looks like, and where you lie on the BMI scale.</b> I'm 5'1", weight 157 lbs., and I <b>just</b> entered the "overweight" range for my height. I won't be in the "normal" range for another 24 lbs., and I am sure to surpass a size 8 by that time. The original poster is probably also just into the "overweight" range, and wouldn't be in the "normal" range until around 138 lbs. I really don't think a particular "size" is a good measurement of where we should stop losing weight. I think a person should stop losing weight at the point they feel most comfortable at - be that a size 14, 12, 10, 8, or even a size 2 - with an eye towards what's considered a "normal" weight for their height. And lastly, the clothing industry HAS changed the measurements for sizes in the past three years, so that what was once a size 10 is now a size 12, etc. I know this because i had several sets of pants in size 14 that i bought over five years ago that are <b>just now</b> loose on me, but can go out and purchase a size 10 pair of pants in the store. Also, 17 years ago, I wore a size 10 and weighed 140 lbs, and my body back then was MUCH skinnier than it is now.<br> <br> Good luck to everyone on their path towards the body that they're most comfortable in. (Open PROXIMAL RNY, 7/7/03, 227/157/>132)
   — sweetmana

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