Question:
How to deal with it.

Whenever I go out now, I find that a lot of guys are hitting on me, something that has never happened before, however, I don't know how to deal with the attention.... I feel like I am not worthy or something... is this common. I also feel like I get taken advantage of because some know that I have lost the weight, and now they want to talk to me, and I feel like they know that I am still messed up in the head, and that they could treat me different than someone. I don't understand how to deal with the men thing. I am so confused.... I just wonder if anyone else has felt this same way...    — sheri H. (posted on November 20, 2003)

November 20, 2003
Haragh! Could I write a novel on what you're going thru!!!!I can totally relate as my prospects in the man arena have expanded one hundred fold since 100lbs. ago, and it has had me majorly freaked out over the months. Here's the depressing part too...I can't seem to get anywhere with any of 'em, ie in terms of a relationship. Not that I'm on a major man hunt, but it is kind of depressing that I can no longer blame the lack of a love relationship on my fat...it's all MEEEE! How sad is that? But I keep plugging away...As I grow more comfortable in my "beauty" (and believe me when I say this, I am not bragging, but for example, have been told by no less than three (male) co-workers this week how "beautiful" I am) I am beginning to realize that I am more than this shell...for so long I had to develop other aspects of my personality (ie, mainly by being the brazen, jolly fat girl) because I didn't feel that my looks were enough to attract male attention...and now that I am getting it (somewhat, just maybe not by those from whom I might want it) I need to focus back on my personality...I don't know if any of my ramblings make sense here, but suffice it to say, these are some tough issues, one that I think many women struggle with - fat, or thin...Best of luck to you...from your profile you seem like a lovely person.
   — rebeccamayhew

November 20, 2003
If the guys that are hitting on you did NOT know you before surgery, ENJOY IT!!!!! If these guys DID know you before surgery, ignored or snubbed you then, DUMP THEM NOW!!!!! If they did not care to know you when you were heavy, they are not worth knowing now that you are smaller.
   — RODEO CLOWNS S.

November 20, 2003
STOP worrying about the men. Get comfortable in your own skin first. Do you like who you are? Develop your confidence based on what you see in the mirror. As for the men who did want to have anything to do with you before the surgery - DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THEM - let them lust from afar. As for the compliments - accept them as your due for the hard work that you done to get the body you have now. Enjoy the new you and the new power (yes power) that you have over men!
   — Etta M.

November 21, 2003
The only ones that hit on me are the drunk ones. Apparently I'm REALLY pretty after about six beers.
   — Goldilauxx B.

November 21, 2003
I agree with Etta's post - ignore them for the most part, but keep your eyes open for "good" ones. I've been observing a friend of mine - who has always been thin and beautiful. She is so aloof it amazes me, so it makes the guys work a lot harder to get her attention. If they're willing to work harder, maybe they just might be worth your time.
   — Carlita